It's daddy all the way

[Wrg1405]

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[Papa Zoom]

View attachment 10451

That pretty much sums up my parenting philosophy AND my teaching philosophy too.

 

[Mustard Socks]

On that last one as long as there's Cosco size can's of Lysol, you'll be OK. ed

 

[Papa Zoom]

On that last one as long as there's Cosco size can's of Lysol, you'll be OK. ed

Well my kids (at school) do what we call "crop dusting." That's where they walk by you and let one go. Or when you come to their table to help them, they give you a dusting of gas. For me, when that happens, I give them a dose of karma. Then I go to the other side of the room and observe as they blame each other.

 

[Wrg1405]

Well my kids (at school) do what we call "crop dusting." That's where they walk by you and let one go. Or when you come to their table to help them, they give you a dusting of gas. For me, when that happens, I give them a dose of karma. Then I go to the other side of the room and observe as they blame each other.

Crop dusting

How funny.

 

[Mustard Socks]

2It's Thanksgiving and we're talking about farts.

K

My husband dusted me in a video store once. Once! That's how long ago it was . Back when there were DVD shops.
Now mind you, hubby loves Wendy's chili with hot sauce. Unfortunately, being he has had ulcers since he was a child , it doesn't love him. But that's why God inspired the invention of Gaviscon.
So this one day we go into the local fave DVD shop and we're in the drama section. Oh, how fitting . And just after a Wendy's lunch.
He feels one coming on so he lets go by walking away from me and all the way up the aisle and out of the area. But his are sneaky. They exit, wait, and then explode in a world of stinky.
He's long gone and I'm standing there looking at a video when it hits. I'm dyin! I turn to go and see these teenagers come in and right to my section. One guy and two girls.
Idiot me thinks, well , if I turn they'll see my face and I can hold my breath for a pretty long time. I turn to my left to see where hubby is just as the boy says, "DANG! SOMEBODY BETTER GET CHECKED!" As loud as you can say it without screaming.
Just then and to my left I see hubby in the comedy section. His shoulders are bouncing up and down because he's laughing his back pockets off quietly as I take the blame.
I'm no fan of dusting. Hubby has no kidding caused a 7-11 employee to leave the shop after he dusted it after buying a slurpee at the counter and walking out the door.
When you can make a 7-11 "we never close" (but they have locks on the door) employee go outside and smoke a cigarette to get rid of the odor in their nostrils, you better get checked.

 

[Papa Zoom]

2It's Thanksgiving and we're talking about farts.

K

My husband dusted me in a video store once. Once! That's how long ago it was . Back when there were DVD shops.
Now mind you, hubby loves Wendy's chili with hot sauce. Unfortunately, being he has had ulcers since he was a child , it doesn't love him. But that's why God inspired the invention of Gaviscon.
So this one day we go into the local fave DVD shop and we're in the drama section. Oh, how fitting . And just after a Wendy's lunch.
He feels one coming on so he lets go by walking away from me and all the way up the aisle and out of the area. But his are sneaky. They exit, wait, and then explode in a world of stinky.
He's long gone and I'm standing there looking at a video when it hits. I'm dyin! I turn to go and see these teenagers come in and right to my section. One guy and two girls.
Idiot me thinks, well , if I turn they'll see my face and I can hold my breath for a pretty long time. I turn to my left to see where hubby is just as the boy says, "DANG! SOMEBODY BETTER GET CHECKED!" As loud as you can say it without screaming.
Just then and to my left I see hubby in the comedy section. His shoulders are bouncing up and down because he's laughing his back pockets off quietly as I take the blame.
I'm no fan of dusting. Hubby has no kidding caused a 7-11 employee to leave the shop after he dusted it after buying a slurpee at the counter and walking out the door.
When you can make a 7-11 "we never close" (but they have locks on the door) employee go outside and smoke a cigarette to get rid of the odor in their nostrils, you better get checked.

I cannot top that story!

 

[Wrg1405]

2It's Thanksgiving and we're talking about farts.

K

My husband dusted me in a video store once. Once! That's how long ago it was . Back when there were DVD shops.
Now mind you, hubby loves Wendy's chili with hot sauce. Unfortunately, being he has had ulcers since he was a child , it doesn't love him. But that's why God inspired the invention of Gaviscon.
So this one day we go into the local fave DVD shop and we're in the drama section. Oh, how fitting . And just after a Wendy's lunch.
He feels one coming on so he lets go by walking away from me and all the way up the aisle and out of the area. But his are sneaky. They exit, wait, and then explode in a world of stinky.
He's long gone and I'm standing there looking at a video when it hits. I'm dyin! I turn to go and see these teenagers come in and right to my section. One guy and two girls.
Idiot me thinks, well , if I turn they'll see my face and I can hold my breath for a pretty long time. I turn to my left to see where hubby is just as the boy says, "DANG! SOMEBODY BETTER GET CHECKED!" As loud as you can say it without screaming.
Just then and to my left I see hubby in the comedy section. His shoulders are bouncing up and down because he's laughing his back pockets off quietly as I take the blame.
I'm no fan of dusting. Hubby has no kidding caused a 7-11 employee to leave the shop after he dusted it after buying a slurpee at the counter and walking out the door.
When you can make a 7-11 "we never close" (but they have locks on the door) employee go outside and smoke a cigarette to get rid of the odor in their nostrils, you better get checked.

I did that once, well actually twice.

I was commuting to London by train. I was sat in a carriage and my guts were playing up. Gas building up in my stomach. Eventually I had to let a silent one out. Coughs, splutters and alike followed.

Then when I left the carriage and was walking to the exit, with hundreds of people pushing, shoving I had to release another silent one. Within seconds their was a parting of people.

Over here we call it 'silent but deadly' but we also say "whoever smelt it dealt it"

 

[Mustard Socks]

I cannot top that story!

My olfactory system knows I wish it never was a fact of my life. I can still remember that boy's voice. And being I was in the car waiting for hubby to exit the 7-11 with his Slurpee, because I'm not a big fan of those, I can also see that poor guy who worked the counter trying to look cool as he came outside.

 

[Mustard Socks]

I did that once, well actually twice.

I was commuting to London by train. I was sat in a carriage and my guts were playing up. Gas building up in my stomach. Eventually I had to let a silent one out. Coughs, splutters and alike followed.

Then when I left the carriage and was walking to the exit, with hundreds of people pushing, shoving I had to release another silent one. Within seconds their was a parting of people.

Over here we call it 'silent but deadly' but we also say "whoever smelt it dealt it"

In the states we have similar terms.
Especially , silent but deadly. Because it's true.

 

[Papa Zoom]

Odoriferous Emanations

 

[jasonc]

Bah,dogs cringe and whine when i fart.

 

[Wrg1405]

Bah,dogs cringe and whine when i fart.

We try to blame our dogs.

 

[Wrg1405]

My wife tells me "Women don't fart"
Apparently they 'puff'

 

[Papa Zoom]

My wife tells me "Women don't fart"
Apparently they 'puff'

Lol

 

[Wrg1405]

Lol

Mind you, fart or puff. They smell the same.

What makes me laugh though is when a woman lets slip a puff she says "excuse me, I'm sorry"

A man? Well he lets it rip, laughs and says "smell that"

 

[Papa Zoom]

Mind you, fart or puff. They smell the same.

What makes me laugh though is when a woman lets slip a puff she says "excuse me, I'm sorry"

A man? Well he lets it rip, laughs and says "smell that"

So true!

 

[Edward]

My wife tells me "Women don't fart"
Apparently they 'puff'

Mythbusters debunked that one. They sewed sensors in some underwear and had her wear them all day.

It took hours and hours because she was holding it back, but eventually...she let it loose

 

[Vaccine]

View attachment 10451

Soo true. I remember when my daughter was about 3 years old and got up a few hours before us on a regular basis. This one time my daughter came into the bedroom and woke us up I offered to get her something to drink. She said "Oh thank you Daddy! I GIVE YOU THREE KISSES!!" and proceeded to give me three kisses as my wife just glared at me from her side of the bed. My wife got up with her most of the time and never got that response.