Looking for direction...

[Illidan]

So i met this wonderful girl, shes a christian and just all around amazing. But she's made mistakes in the past, And honestly i can overcome it but i'm just wondering how wise it is to let my heart go out there like this. For one she has a daughter (who is very sweet and endearing), who she's caring for on her own. She also has made some poor sexual choices in the past and has contracted a "condition" because of it. I can honestly see myself loving her and looking forward to a life with her... but im torn because this is so far outside of my normal experiances.

Any advice?

 

[antitox]

Take everything SLOW.
Give her and yourself alot of time just to get to know each other. With anyone you must get a good look at that person's values and outlook on life. That is the most important thing. This will tell you what kind of person she really is. If there are any troublesome signs, then time is what allows them to surface.

At 51 yrs old, I can tell you that the freshness/newness of a relationship with someone can blind you to things about her that may not work out with you in the long run.

Be wise enough to know what you really have to have in someone that will be compatible for your life. That means being in touch with yourself. Don't trade anything out just to have the experience of being close to someone. Count the cost.

 

[hesahama]

A friend of mine once told me that if we're looking for a wife we have to pray twice as hard as we normally do when asking for other things. I know that doesn't help much but maybe this will.

Proverbs 19:14

"Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD."

 

[polysci006]

So i met this wonderful girl, shes a christian and just all around amazing. But she's made mistakes in the past, And honestly i can overcome it but i'm just wondering how wise it is to let my heart go out there like this. For one she has a daughter (who is very sweet and endearing), who she's caring for on her own. She also has made some poor sexual choices in the past and has contracted a "condition" because of it. I can honestly see myself loving her and looking forward to a life with her... but im torn because this is so far outside of my normal experiances.

Any advice?

1) Are you willing to raise a child that is not your own?
2) Are your views on raising children compatible with the woman you are seeing?
3) How long has it been since she "turned her life around" (if at all; pay attention to the sorts of friends she hangs out with, ask about her at the church she attends, find out how long she has attended there, etc)?
4) Is this "condition" she has something that you are willing to become infected with? There is no 100% fool-proof method to keep you safe. Consider the impacts on both your health and hers in future years. Research the "condition" and know full well what you will be risking before you risk it.
5) In the event that it doesn't work out after you have become active with her, consider how having that "condition" is going to affect your chance at future relationships.
6) Pray
7) See #6

Personally, I would recommend strongly against becoming romantically involved with someone who has both a child and a communicable illness that is a direct result of her poor choices in the past. Mistakes can be forgiven, but there are still consequences she is going to have to deal with for the rest of her life. If you join with her in marriage, then you are willingly adopting those consequences upon yourself, as well. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health.

Marriage isn't something that is to be disposed of when it becomes inconvenient or uncomfortable.

 

[Blazin Bones]

I hope I'm not raising a dead issue, but I thought I should chime in in the event that there's still thoughts being sought.

While i don't know the situation perfectly, I am very close to a gal who has not waited and I've been warned about getting to close to here because of what it ultimately led to. I know she is healthy and does not have a child now, but that's all I know.

Her and I continue to grow closer as the weeks and months pass by, and I've had to ask myself if I'm ready to know what I don't and If I'm willing to try and move foward regarless. I think the nothin polysci presented is a great one to be considered. Marriage isn't a thing that one should be able to back out at will. It's a lifelong commitment, not just sickness health, better or worse, happy and sad, but until in DEATH do you part.

For me, before I even start thinking about a relationship, I'm already asking myself if I'm ready for the whole deal. Too many relationship start half heartedly, and end with both half not uniting, but breaking the other apart. Marriage should be the end result of any relationship to me, and that result being a miracle of God turning two lives into one unite IN HIM, and united for Good.