Love Your Neighbor as Yourself...

[Edward]

I'm struggling with loving my neighbor as myself lately. I have a single girl living across the street, and she is coming over asking me for help with mundane things more often lately. SHe's tried becoming amorous with me, and I have no interest in her in that whatsoever. She's very sinful, drinks too much, brings home different men from the bars, and who knows what else.

I know that scripture tells me that if one asks for help, to go two miles with them and so forth, but anything that I do to try to be nice neighbor, she trys to take it further and to set obligations on me like I am her boyfriend or something. I wont even let her into my house. I don't want to be rude or anything and I want to keep her at a distance, but I keep remembering how scripture tells me to love my neighbor as myself. (I also remember the scripture that say do not go in unto her because some will not come back!)

Any of you have this problem? What's a guy to do?

 

[iLOVE]

There is only one thing for a christian to do...run!
Potiphar's wife suggested that Joseph have sexual intercourse with her, but he rebuffed her. One day when they were alone she took hold of his clothes and attempted to undress him. He fled, leaving his cloak behind and never returning for his cloak.

Joseph did not trust his flesh so he fled.

More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 CEB

When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; James 1:13

 

[Edward]

I'm not tempted by her at all. But she is single and lives alone and does need some help with things sometimes, and I'm torn between being a good neighbor like scripture commands us, but wants to take it too far and invites me over and things which I do not want to do. If it were not for the scripture I would be rude to her to get her to leave me alone.

She is a bad influence, yet I do not want to handle it poorly and disobey.

 

[iLOVE]

Never use the scripture to circumvent the true meaning. The flesh is weak and knows how to overlook flaws.

 

[Edward]

Never use the scripture to circumvent the true meaning. The flesh is weak and knows how to overlook flaws.

Forgive me, but I'm not sure I get your meaning here.

I'm not interested in her and would like to disassociate myself with her altogether, but I'm not sure that I would be dis-obeying the love your neighbor as yourself. Which seems to indicate that I should help her as much as possible. It is a dangerous situation for me because she has interest in me beyond platonic friendship and perhaps other sinful things. I'm not sure how to handle it.

 

[iLOVE]

God sends good people into our lives. Satan sends bad people into our lives when our thinking does not line up with God. The bible tells me to seperate good from evil. It appears you are looking for the green light from a christian on this site to proceed because of her clever seduction.

 

[reba]

I'm not tempted by her at all. But she is single and lives alone and does need some help with things sometimes, and I'm torn between being a good neighbor like scripture commands us, but wants to take it too far and invites me over and things which I do not want to do. If it were not for the scripture I would be rude to her to get her to leave me alone.

She is a bad influence, yet I do not want to handle it poorly and disobey.

Always take some one with you when she needs help. It might be a bit cumbersome but should be worth the effort..... If she truly needs help you are helping her if she is playing she will stop.

 

[Edward]

iLove, If that's what you get out my posts them perhaps you should read them again, without being so judgmental. No offense, but you're 180 off of my intent.

 

[Edward]

Reba, that's a good idea, but not always possible. I live alone. I have actually lied to her a few times to get out of going over there. Not good, I know. The scripture that says that we should love our neighbors as ourselves was summarized as one the greatest two commandments. So because of that scripture, I am sometimes inclined to help her. But she is the type to try and take advantage of any situation. Am I safer to dis-associate myself from her because of her evil intent and desires, or to obey God and help her? I want to dis-associate myself from her completely, but it is very important to me to obey God.

 

[iLOVE]

Reba, that's a good idea, but not always possible. I live alone. I have actually lied to her a few times to get out of going over there. Not good, I know. The scripture that says that we should love our neighbors as ourselves was summarized as one the greatest two commandments. So because of that scripture, I am sometimes inclined to help her. But she is the type to try and take advantage of any situation. Am I safer to dis-associate myself from her because of her evil intent and desires, or to obey God and help her? I want to dis-associate myself from her completely, but it is very important to me to obey God.

Are you telling us you don't know right from wrong? As you have already stated she has you lying. Why can't you just be honest and tell her you are a Godly man and her actions offends you?

 

[Edward]

No, I am not saying that I don't know right from wrong. I have told her that I am a Christian and it doesn't seem to bother her. This is a fairly delicate situation because I have to live across the street from her. I do not want to rile her up, or to create strife in my neighborhood. I get along with everyone and would not like to make it into some sort of soap opera where she feels scorned and perhaps creates trouble for me or turns spiteful or troublesome. On top of that, I sometimes feel as if I should make a greater effort to be helpful to her because of scripture. I thought perhaps that I might get some advice. I sure would appreciate it if you would actually answer any of my questions, rather than just be judgmental and presumptive with me. Is that too much to ask?

 

[reba]

jas_4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he/she will flee from you.

Is every bit as much scripture as love your neighbour.... We are to judge Edward

Joh_7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
Could well be you have evaluated (judged) this rightfully and know it would be best to stay away...

We girls have a way of causing trouble...

 

[Obadiah]

Gee, I kinda took it that she was asking you for a lot of favors and you maybe were feeling "used". I didn't take it at all that you were tempted to "sin" in some way with her, but that you may have felt she is using amorous advances toward you thinking that will get you to do things for her. (There are women out there that are VERY good at this!) She sounds like a very "needy" person who wants others to take care of her, at their expense. If not financial expense, certainly expense of time and energy.

Personally, I never understood "love your neighbor" to mean we have to be slaves or doormats for our neighbors to walk all over to take care of them when they fall short due to their own sinfulness. That's not the example that Jesus set in his life on earth either. He didn't let anyone use him as a doormat. The word translated to love in the verse you are talking about is agapao, which is the very kind of love that Jesus has for us, as opposed to sexual love or love for fellow man. The kind of love Jesus showed us, and is talked about in Mark 12:31 (Love your neighbor as yourself) doesn't require that we allow people to take unfair advantage of us.

I guess as for advice, if I'm understanding your situation, probably best to be honest with her and politely and kindly tell her that her needs are becoming too much of a burden for you, and because of your Christian ideals, what she is offering in return isn't something you are interested in. If she can't handle that, that is her issue then. Romans 12:18 says "as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" but it never says we have to somehow control how others live with us or their other neighbors.

 

[Edward]

Reba, Thank you, that's advice I can use and I respect your judgement and views from reading your posts.

Obadiah, Right. I don't feel used, and I don't mind helping someone out. But I can see that there is nothing good for me in that house over there. She has kind of layed off the amorous advances towards me, I told her that I was christian and that I have a girlfriend. (She's over seas visiting family for awhile and so my neighbor has never seen her or any girl over here with me, but everytime that I have been over there, she's always trying to get me spend time with her, do drugs with her, drink with her and so forth. I'm not interested in any of that, but was concerned that perhaps I may be dis-obeying God by not making more of an effort to help or to show her the way to Christ. None of anything spiritual that I have ever said to her has even sparked a reasonable conversation, she always immediately changes the subject, so I am of the feeling that I am safer keeping to myself and stay completely away from her.

 

[iLOVE]

Reba, Thank you, that's advice I can use and I respect your judgement and views from reading your posts.

Obadiah, Right. I don't feel used, and I don't mind helping someone out. But I can see that there is nothing good for me in that house over there. She has kind of layed off the amorous advances towards me, I told her that I was christian and that I have a girlfriend. (She's over seas visiting family for awhile and so my neighbor has never seen her or any girl over here with me, but everytime that I have been over there, she's always trying to get me spend time with her, do drugs with her, drink with her and so forth. I'm not interested in any of that, but was concerned that perhaps I may be dis-obeying God by not making more of an effort to help or to show her the way to Christ. None of anything spiritual that I have ever said to her has even sparked a reasonable conversation, she always immediately changes the subject, so I am of the feeling that I am safer keeping to myself and stay completely away from her.

Bingo!!!!!!!!!

 

[farouk]

Edward: You're in the situation as exists among a lot of neighbors, actually. Polite conversation over the fence and near the front doors and even friendly advice exchanged from time to time, borrowed tools, etc., but you are entirely at liberty to smile, say, 'Well, good to see you, bye for now,' and close your door.

 

[Edward]

Good. That's encouraging to me to me to hear that. I like to be helpful an do want to obey God, but I don't want to step into a den of evil to do it. Ahh, this morning I go back and re-read the one verse that caused me concern, and read the rest of it and I see that she is not my neighbor. I feel much better now

Luke 10: 27-37

27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”//

Thanks to all who responded.

 

[for_his_glory]

We are instructed to love our neighbor and who is our neighbor, but that of everyone in the world. We are also instructed to not judge others, but to lift up and edify one another as we allow the light of Christ shine through us so that others may be drawn to His light. Edward have you ever considered witnessing Christ to her while you are there helping her? I'm not talking about shoving the Bible down her throat, but to speak of Jesus in a subtle way of conversation. The Holy Spirit will give you the words to speak to her. It could be a possibility that God has put her in your path as Jesus works through you to lead her to Him. Just something to think about as she will either receive Christ because of your witness or she will eventually let you alone.

 

[Edward]

I have a little, but she quickly changed the subject. Personally, I feel I am too young a christian, for too tough of a test case to be effective, lol. But I understand that it would not be I, but the spirit through me that would do it. Perhaps I should buck up and allow the spirit to work through me if it is so his will. I will have faith and see how the spirit moves me when I encounter her again.

It would have to be the spirit. I don't talk so well, lol. I'm terrified of ministry to be quite honest. I am ok at giving my testimony. but I'm not sure I could ever get up on a stage and speak to a crowd. Nevertheless, I do not know where God will take me, and I will not resist the spirit. God has the wheel in my life, and I am largely along for the ride.

 

[JPPT1974]

Actually feel bad for her. As she needs prayer and that hopefully she will accept the saving and loving grace of Jesus Christ. And that she will start reading the Bible and go to church. As it is hard to love thy neighbor. You can't do it alone. You have to have God do it for you and to let Him take over you. Be in thought and prayer for you.