Lust in a long distance relationship

[JesusFan37]

I've been dating this guy for a half a year now online. We haven't met yet but, we're planning on it soon. The thing is, a lot of strong sexual urges have become a huge problem in our relationship. It's really taking a toll on both of us in our own spiritual walks. Everytime I engage in a sinful, lustful act, I feel so distant from God. It sets me off on this spiral away from Him, and then next thing you know, I haven't read the Bible in a week. Haven't prayed in weeks. Unable to genuinely give wise counsel. Unable to share about Jesus because I feel so fake for still willingly engaging in sin. Many self-condemning thoughts. Fearful thoughts of God taking this guy away, or allowing me to go through a trial because I keep engaging with this lustful desire. It feels like I'm going into a 'spiritual depression' with all this happening every time I sin lustfully.

We both repent and we take time to reconnect with God, but it just feels like an exhaustive cycle. It's gotten to the point where the flesh on me is so strong that I just want to please it and be okay with it (which is terrifying to admit), or just hurry up and get married so that it's not a problem. Truthfully it's gotten to a point where 'feeling good' seems to be what I desire more, but I know in my Spirit that something is so OFF.

I know that both of us in our hearts want to love each other properly and to have God in the center of us. But we both struggle with lust heavily, and since we opened that door, it's been seemingly impossible to keep shut.

I really love this guy, and I don't want to end things. yet, I've prayed the prayer so many times "Lord if it's not your will, take him away." He hasn't yet, and I wonder if He wants me to do that on my own. To choose Him over this relationship... as I've many times in the past idolized relationships (prior to knowing Him). This is my first relationship with someone also in the Faith, btw.

I just want to know what I should do at this point. I'm supposed to be fasting to reconnect with the Lord but even in the midst of it I am still engaging with this lustful sin. The desire is just so strong, and I know if I meet this guy soon I will definitely engage in the things I shouldn't. I feel so broken, lost, confused, frustrated, double-minded, and just sad.

Could I get some wise counsel on this?

 

[Hidden In Him]

I've been dating this guy for a half a year now online. We haven't met yet but, we're planning on it soon. The thing is, a lot of strong sexual urges have become a huge problem in our relationship. It's really taking a toll on both of us in our own spiritual walks. Everytime I engage in a sinful, lustful act, I feel so distant from God. It sets me off on this spiral away from Him, and then next thing you know, I haven't read the Bible in a week. Haven't prayed in weeks. Unable to genuinely give wise counsel. Unable to share about Jesus because I feel so fake for still willingly engaging in sin. Many self-condemning thoughts. Fearful thoughts of God taking this guy away, or allowing me to go through a trial because I keep engaging with this lustful desire. It feels like I'm going into a 'spiritual depression' with all this happening every time I sin lustfully.

We both repent and we take time to reconnect with God, but it just feels like an exhaustive cycle. It's gotten to the point where the flesh on me is so strong that I just want to please it and be okay with it (which is terrifying to admit), or just hurry up and get married so that it's not a problem. Truthfully it's gotten to a point where 'feeling good' seems to be what I desire more, but I know in my Spirit that something is so OFF.

I know that both of us in our hearts want to love each other properly and to have God in the center of us. But we both struggle with lust heavily, and since we opened that door, it's been seemingly impossible to keep shut.

I really love this guy, and I don't want to end things. yet, I've prayed the prayer so many times "Lord if it's not your will, take him away." He hasn't yet, and I wonder if He wants me to do that on my own. To choose Him over this relationship... as I've many times in the past idolized relationships (prior to knowing Him). This is my first relationship with someone also in the Faith, btw.

I just want to know what I should do at this point. I'm supposed to be fasting to reconnect with the Lord but even in the midst of it I am still engaging with this lustful sin. The desire is just so strong, and I know if I meet this guy soon I will definitely engage in the things I shouldn't. I feel so broken, lost, confused, frustrated, double-minded, and just sad.

Could I get some wise counsel on this?

Sister, welcome to Christian Forums, and thank you for sharing your concerns.

You need to find out the will of God here, so you need to be praying to Him continually about it, that He will reveal Himself to you about marrying this man or not. This is what scripture refers to as "burning" with passion, and it can be awfully tough to deal with. The knee jerk reaction would be to say remove yourself from him, but there may be more going on here, so instead of getting into anxiety, just keep pressing into God over it. If you do, the answers will come to you eventually.

In the meantime make yourself perfectly clear to him; as clear to him as you are being with us, so that he knows that if God tells you to pull away a little it's not because you are rejecting him but rather that you like him so much it feels like it is threatening your relationship with God, and you need a little distance to keep your head straight. He will understand it if you put it to him that way.

Best advice I can give you on short notice.

Welcome to CFN once again,
Hidden In Him

 

[JesusFan37]

Sister, welcome to Christian Forums, and thank you for sharing your concerns.

You need to find out the will of God here, so you need to be praying to Him continually about it, that He will reveal Himself to you about marrying this man or not. This is what scripture refers to as "burning" with passion, and it can be awfully tough to deal with. The knee jerk reaction would be to say remove yourself from him, but there may be more going on here, so instead of getting into anxiety, just keep pressing into God over it. If you do, the answers will come to you eventually.

In the meantime make yourself perfectly clear to him; as clear to him as you are being with us, so that he knows that if God tells you to pull away a little it's not because you are rejecting him but rather that you like him so much it feels like it is threatening your relationship with God, and you need a little distance to keep your head straight. He will understand it if you put it to him that way.

Best advice I can give you on short notice.

Welcome to CFN once again,
Hidden In Him

Thank you so much, this helps a whole lot! Please be praying for me in this, it means so much!!!

 

[Hidden In Him]

Thank you so much, this helps a whole lot! Please be praying for me in this, it means so much!!!

Certainly!

Blessings in Christ, and thanks again for posting.

 

[D2255]

Hello brethren. I have weakness myself, I repent every day. Many years I had guilt for six months. I did repent. 2 Corinthians 7:10. For godly grief produces a Repentance that leads to salvation without regret, where as worldly grief produces death.

As Christian people, we're in the flesh, and we sin. We repent and move on. Satan can use also use guilty feelings to drive us away from God, Ephesians chapter 2, prince of the air is Satan.

As Christian people we trust God. Non believers don't trust God. They have guilty conscience. But Christian people will repent. Romans chapter 6 is about habitual simners, and Christian sinners. There is stark difference.


Habitual simners are prideful, and ingrained with selfishness. These are Reprobates. Christian people have humility and will seek a pardon for there sins.

I won't go on any dating sites. Five years ago. I had bad experiences. They were not sincere and truthful with me. There probably is few decent Christian people on dating sites. Just because someone says im Christian, doesn't mean they are.


As humble Christian. What ever you decide. I wish you all the best. I gave my honest advice or opinion. Peace.

 

[Who Me]

I've been dating this guy for a half a year now online

Dating someone you have not met!

I really love this guy,

Really!


Your thread title says it all.
You are not in love, you are in lust.
Do meet this guy, but what are you expecting?
If the pair of you cannot control your emotions on line, will you be able to do so in person?

One thing that is absent from your post is anything about your shared spiritual experiences.
Have you been doing on line bible studies together, attended the same church via zoom and you tube.