marriage help

[erinalexmom]

This is so crazy And I cant believe I got into this argument. Last week my husband went out and bought some new panamas for our kids. Well today I was looking in a drawer for something else and found some panamas that I had for our son already and had forgotten about. I showed them to my husband. He said "sp I just spent 120 dollars on something because you couldn't look in the drawer?" This set me off.I told him that was a hateful way to say it and that is why I don't talk to him sometimes because he nit picks me over everything! I work almost every weekend at my nursing job. I babysit mon through fri in my home. I am also responsible for all chores in the home as well as all school chores with the kids. He does work a lot but come on! Jam doing something 7 days a week! On the weekends he does nothing! I'm usually not even angry about that but I don't like getting chewed out over what I consider so minor. Help me out here. He does this a lot. He is kind and loving for a week or two then he flops out over something like this.Then he's back to normal but I admit I'm still hurting.

 

[erinalexmom]

I don't like it when I work so hard at wife and motherhood and all he can do is pick on me for the minor stuff.

 

[erinalexmom]

My husband just appologized but he told me that he isn't happy and he takes it out on me. He knows this but I don't know how to help him change it.

 

[The Unbeliever]

Have you tried counseling, perhaps with your pastor if you can't afford a professional. Maybe an outside perspective can come up with ideas to help.

 

[erinalexmom]

We haven't tried counseling but that might be the way we need to go. His major problem is his job.He had a great job.He lost it 3 years ago.He has a new job but it doesn't pay well plus he hates it. So we have problems of both money and him flat out hating it. Healso is on a crazy shift which he hates. I am not sure how to help him.

 

[iLOVE]

Just pray to God and ask Jesus to restore your marriage. Anything through self-effort will fell (the flesh). Make Jesus your identity not your flesh. It is a difference between a good idea and a God idea.

 

[erinalexmom]

Thank you so much! I love that! Good idea or God idea.Thanks!

 

[DJJireh]

i too agree with iLove's comment - A God idea!!! ;)
What i also will add is LOTS of prayer - Someone said to me once - If you're not praying, you're playing! :D

Blessings!!

 

[President]

I'm not sure what Panamas are, but it seems like something is missing from the story. Did you tell your husband that they didn't have Panamas?

I can see why what your husband said would irritate you, but from the opening post it sounds like you really laid into him and got bent out of shape over that. Maybe you could take a deep breath and think, "I have to respect my husband and submit to him" and pray in your heart for grace before you respond. After you've cooled down, you could point out that his words hurt you in a respectful way and tell him why.

 

[JohnD]

I am convinced that the estrogen in the food chain (used to get cows to produce more milk etc), and the bombardment of sexual temptations everywhere in society these days causes impotence in men and moodiness.

If your husband has the tendency to sound like a crabby female at times you might look into hormone therapy. And otherwise don't take his mood swings personally. It's just that feminine side women used to think they wanted in a man.