[__ Prayer __] Merciful God! Vs cruel world 🌎

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I think I’m starting to get it. Stigma is an issue in my life and I may just have to accept that it’s here to stay. It’s extra frustrating because all I have on my record is a misdemeanor conviction and I’ve never been to prison never been committed or in a state hospital. Truth doesn’t really matter to those in the world anyway.

A man doing some work in an upstairs unit talked to me this morning as I was on my way out. Easy breezy refreshing. And…

I dropped by a 24 hung box pharmacy in my small city 🌃. Decent prices on the multi serving bottles of iced coffee I like when I’ve forgotten to diy cold brew (to my credit that takes 24 hours). And…

Some static in the store then some woman yelled stuff at me as I was going to my vehicle 🚗. Ok ✅

In Christ I’m dealing with it better. I think it’s time to look at it more as…

The way the world works. I don’t know why people keep at it even though I’ve been off of probation for 8 years now, no drugs no drinking and I keep a low profile. It’s confusing 🫤 but I can’t do a deep dive into it because it’s a pointless crazy making waste of time. And…

Ugh 😑 God is Love. Truly. This is minor vs what could be happening in my life and…

In this world you shall have trouble but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world.

Trying to stand on His word lean less on me..

Thanks 🙏
 
So….

Everyone has to deal with this world 🌎 we live in. Some people excel at it! Others…not so much.

I definitely fell into the motto much category pre Jesus. And now?

I’m a high functioning mental patient with a high iq estimate. Not exactly Mr.9 to 5 all of a sudden but in the context of my life…

Something of a miracle.

So now I’m close to my amazing parents. I actually just got back from dinner at their house 🏠. Mama’s recovering nicely btw.

Mental patients don’t matter in modern society…on a good day lol 😆. So I’m learning to roll with the punches in Christ and doing…better? I think?

It isn’t that I’m a non entity in the absolute sense. Christ spared me forgave me washed me and made me clean 🧽. Now I think it’s more redemption than restoration per se…

Joy comes in the morning. Schizophrenia?!? Apparently. But now I’m healthy and I have the high iq estimate and it’s strange because I’ve got the severe diagnosis but I do better at life than before…well the big thing is before conversion and before growing some in Him.

I’m hoping for a friend or two here locally. Someone around my age who just wants to do wholesome things occasionally. I’m not looking for some emo intense stuff here lol 😆 although maybe eventually they could read my writing ✍️???

I’m thankful…more and more actually.,, that God willed recovery from the involuntary shock treatments and operation. Eek 😱 it’s strange…the more psych treatment they throw at you the worse you’ll get and the more pills 💊 you’ll need. It’s not just me.

But now it’s just the atypical tranquilizer and some seizure drug that help with recurrent depression. Ok so they give me a very low dose sedative I can take as needed but I generally prefer not to…

Rambling! I have so much to be thankful for and it’s God at work. Not that I deserve unending misery or that anyone else does either but often it’s what the world 🗺️ has for some of us.

Ok ✅ thank you 🙏
 
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