[__ Prayer __] More tension. Ugh ?

[Christ_empowered]

I’m not well liked at all lol ?

A lot of it is a shady ridiculous past but…

The pushback from people seems to wax and wane which strikes me as odd because I only have 1 conviction on my record and I’ve stayed out of trouble for over 10 years now. The conviction is a serious misdemeanor that was a result of plea bargain…it started as a felony.

Ok so tonight I drove up and parked and some dude was yelling at me calling me names and telling me to move. But I’ve lived here for 6 years? My parents own it. I’m thankful ? and pretty much I keep to myself…

The place is clean ? and I’m not on drugs I don’t even drink alcohol and…???

I’m not trying to throw a pity party ? but I am genuinely confused ?‍?. I’m not a perfect neighbor but I’m generally quiet ? and I definitely don’t get into other people’s business ?‍?…

So what do you think ? makes people get upset about me living here at this time? I’m thinking ? maybe because it’s condos some of which are rented out and then there’s turnover with owners too…

Maybe people move in and expect me to pack up and leave? I dunno ?

As always thanks for praying ? and for input too.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Me. Yes ? again! lol ?

My life is quiet and peaceful and good ?.

You know how people in the world ? sometimes talk about dealing with the life you’ve made for yourself? Yeah…

By God’s grace and mercy I have a life far better than what I made for myself and honestly? Far better than I ever could have made for myself.

On top of my sins and then the way the world ?️ works I was a weakling until sometime fairly recently. I’m blessed ? beyond measure!

Thing is…in and of the world being a weakling is sort of the unforgivable sin. People can be drug addicts in the world and find a measure of redemption. Losers can become winners or at least not losers. Weaklings? Pshaw. Psychiatrists saw a cash cow ? and they were probably going to have me put away somewhere…

But not now. By God’s grace and also thanks to my wonderful parents I’m…

Apparently a high functioning high iq schizophrenic….

But not a weakling. Maybe ? that’s what a lot of this junk is about? It’s almost like…

Same intensity of junk heads my way but for different reasons. It is what it is…

 

[Christ_empowered]

Ugh ?

Wave upon wave of deliberate noise last night into the early morning. The worst part? I’m expected to…what? Pack up and move? Because…?

Maybe ? that’s pride in my end. I’ll pray ? about it.

Just…wow. I don’t get creating all this unnecessary drama ? right where one lives. It’s…ridiculous…

 

[Christ_empowered]

Apparently a neighbor thinks I need to be committed to a mental hospital ?….

Because I think my parents own my place. They do. It’s actually public record and it’s freely accessible at the county website.

Other stuff too lately and it’s harder and harder to think that psychiatry is about help because I’m in voluntary outpatient treatment and taking my tranquilizer but…?

I’m not sure ? why I keep getting junk like this but it’s not fun ? at all lol ?.

It is what it is…

 

[Christ_empowered]

Ugh ?

Part of my problem is that I need to build a decent social life but it’s not an easy task. My symptoms have improved remarkably I’m apparently a good conversationalist but…

Oh man ?‍ that unnerving sense that people I don’t know somehow know about me…

Is not getting better lol ? dented cans of food and beverages at curbside pickup…random comments at me or around me about conservatorship guardianship etc…

I think ? it’s just an example of how easy it is to make examples out of vulnerable people.

Gratitude ?

God has willed to make me increasingly normal and has restored my senses. So now I can look back to over 10 years ago when I had first moved back to the area and then compare with what’s happening now.

When I lived in poverty in an apartment over a garage people literally threw things at my apartment. That’s happened here a couple of times…once I remember it was a newspaper ? hurled at the wall of my bedroom…

But the frequency and intensity is a lot less now compared to back then.

Other things…people picking fights with me cops following me on the road and random acts of cruelty from random people…

A lot better now!

Ok thanks ?