My Best Friend's Sister

[Pard]

I am madly in love with my best friend's sister, and I have been for almost a year. She drives me absolutely wild, and not in any sexual way. I simply cannot get enough time to be around her, and it makes me so happy when I can make her happy. She likes me well enough, and I am beginning to think she may feel the same way for me as I feel for her. The problem, of course, is her brother is in our way. I am not sure how he would take us dating. He has "scolded" me before for taking her to the drive-in, but all of a sudden he is very comfortable with me hanging with his sister and when I informed him I was taking her to the movies he was very OK with it, so I kind of think he knows what is going on.

Still, it has the potential to be a very troublesome matter if I bring it up to him. I mean, once I do there is no turning back. I am sure he will be OK with me still, but he most likely will be rather angry. I totally understand this, though, after all, I am very protective of my own sister. I'd like to think that if my friend, who I love as a brother, wanted to date her that I'd be fine with this, but I dont know if I am just talking myself up.

Now, I can play a card or two on him, because he had dated some sisters of our friends in the past, so what is the difference? Anyways, I do not feel that I can ask her out, in good conscience, without first consulting him.

What's a guy to do? And how do I even bring such a topic up to him... "Hey, uh, ya, I am hopelessly in love with your sister!"

EDIT

I asked a friend for advice. She kept questioning whether or not I even loved this girl. (She is biased, she thinks, and proudly too, that I only ever have had feelings for her and that I only ever will) I feel that I do love her, I cannot explain it, but needless to say, I feel sad when I am not near her. She brings something within me to life, unlike anyone else ever has. I have prayed to about it, I said to Him, "God, these feelings I have for her, they are hurting me. If it is not love than please take them away so that I may not live with pain, but Lord if they are feelings or love and you wish me to endure these pains, than so be it and let me continue down this path.".

 

[Blazin Bones]

Advice on the below addition first. Never talk relationships to someone you have dated, liked or been liked by. It will always be confusing. As a guy who was a pro at getting along with girls in high school and most of college, it confused me to no end. It wasn't until I started making an effort to stop seeking a relationship and start treating women as just friends and not a potential girlfriend, when I met Caroline.

As for the situation. Pray. Pray. Pray. I personally beleive the purpose for a Christian dating is because both persons recognize that marraige is in the future. God is not the author of failure, and whil he can use a bad dating experience to grow us or mold us, He'd much rather us be true to his word in the first place and wait on Him.

The fact that it is his sister should just be a neat side note. Be honest with his since he is your friend, and hopefully a brother in faith, but don't make it out to be the sticky situation our world would think it is. If he is your brother in faith, that should makes her your sister in faith too. That means seeking God's will for your life is your's and her responsibility, not his.

Finally, I personally feel that since we enter relationship like the world does many times, we also end them like the world does too. A great friend does not always make for a great girlfriend. I learned this the hard way... twice. I began focusing on how great we got along and how much we enjoyed each others company, and didn't consider what God was doing. Again, when I did, I began an honest friendship with Caroline that because a life long romance in just a few weeks. I think the second way is best.

Will be praying for you.

 

[Caroline H]

If your friend knows you as well as he should, he would know what kind of guy you are. If there were any one on this earth that you would trust with your own sister, would it not be your best friend? I would assume that he would feel the same about his sister, and that once he got over the shock of you two having feelings for each other he would see how logical it actually is for you to court her. I would continue to pray about it, and when you feel the time is good to talk with him be honest with him. Most of all, ask him to pray about it himself and hopefully God will help him put his own feelings aside and give you his blessing. Whether he likes it or not, and you too, your sisters cannot stay fair damsels forever, and if a brother runs off too many suitors she will resent it. Just trust that if God really has cultivated these feelings in your heart for this young lady, that he will work in the hearts of all involved to see His will through. :amen

P.S. Tim and I posted at the same time, and I think he nailed down well.