My boyfriend is still in love with his ex

[Pool_elite012]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year. It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

 

[JLB]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year. It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

You guys need to break ungodly soul ties between him and his ex.

 

[Pool_elite012]

You guys need to break ungodly soul ties between him and his ex.

What does that mean?

 

[LOOKING]

Not knowing details about you or your boyfriend, anything I say could be off. As you know, the devil is in the details.

However, from a general perspective, I think there is a time to observe and a time to decide. After two years, I believe it’s time to decide.

Personal relationships are significant. You know you're with the right person when you feel inner peace. Do you feel peace with this person, or are you in conflict?

Don’t ignore what you already sense intuitively. If this person isn’t right for you, let them go as soon as possible. You’ll find the right person if you’re patient and honest.

Hope this helps.

 

[NoahK]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year. It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

Here's my 2 cents for what it's worth. It sounds like he hasn't made an effort to resolve his issues with his ex. 3 years will turn into 30 years and then what??? So I believe action is needed. What some people might call tough love. Talk to him about his concerns and if his answers are the same old excuses, break up completely. Then move on with the rest of your life. God will show you who you need to be with. It doesn't seem to me that the current situation qualifies.

We are accountable individually to the God Who created us. I also get a sense that you want him more than he wants you. In that scenario the only solution I see it is for you to move on if he doesn't make an effort to resolve his issues.

His issues, not yours. May God grant you the peace you seek to make the decision HE seeks for you

 

[Hopeful 2]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me?

It seems like he is already a lost cause.

He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year.

More proof of my POV.

It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

After two years, what do you expect to change in two more years ?

 

[Who Me]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me

It took me 5 years to get over being rejected by a girlfriend, this guy has been marri3d, and divorced and you think he should be over it in two years.

Advice.
Sit down with him and talk about his feelings and only about his feelings.
What does he think about when he hears her name, sees her picture etc.
How does he feel about being divorced, was it his fault or did she divorce him for no reason.
What does he want in life, what are his views for the future.


If he cannot see she is no longer part of his life, you have one option, leave him.

 

[JLB]

What does that mean?

A soul tie is a bond between two people.

Such as a case between a man and a woman who have sexual intercourse whether they are married or not they have joined themselves in a relationship whereby their soul is “knit” together in a godly or ungodly soul tie.


This can be the case between friends or parents as well.

A soul tie whether godly or ungodly is a bond between two people.

Such was the case between Jonathan and David.

Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.
1 Samuel 18:1

• the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David

This is an example of a godly soul tie. David would go on to bless and take care of Johnathan’s family even after Jonathan passed away.


The Bible also talks about being joined to a prostitute because of a sexual union.


When a person is married to his wife, then divorced he may still have an emotional attachment with her through a soul tie.



JLB

 

[RR144]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year. It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

He hasn't told you he loves you? Yeah, time to cut the cord.

 

[Scarmarie]

Hey Lovely,
Firstly i want to say thankyou for sharing your story with us

I think patience and understanding is going to be so important in this situation (1 Corinthians 13:4 'Love is Patient, Love is kind'. You need to ensure that when you DO have this chat with him that your anger does not get the best of you, for you need to take calm control of the conversation to allow your feelings to be told. Allow him to speak and say his points, understand why he may be feeling like this.

Make sure to pray and ask God that if this man is not mean't to be in your life he shall not be!
The Lord will listen.
Trust in him and allow the lord to speak through you with your concerns.

Goodluck sister!

 

[myangelsb4u]

It’s been over 3 years since their divorce. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now. He still shows that he’s not over her and the hurt she caused him. I know I shouldn’t be selfish and I should be more compassionate, but at what point is it a lost cause for me? He hasn’t told me he loves me and I kinda feel like our relationship hasn’t deepened in the past year. It feels stuck in place. I don’t really know what the best move is. Be patient? Talk to him about my concerns? What if my concerns are just my selfish thoughts? Am I looking at this whole situation in the wrong way? I don’t really know what to think anymore.

Hi sister, divorcing can be a difficult on the people involved both spiritually and emotionally because their whole life had been wrapped up in this one person and now all that they had built together has gone. It had only been a year before he met up with you and it is possible you may have been a rebound. Perhaps he is hoping for a restoration with his ex, you just don't know.

I would personally ask him where this relationship is going and whether you two have a future together because it is not in your best interest nor in his that you two sail along without any specific plan for the future. When you find that you are going to have a future, then it is a good idea to have those soulties cut off but not until this has been made clear....Blessings to you and yours.