my spouse is an adict, is divorce ok?

[one truth]

Thank you all so much.. the last few days have been amazing... I kept asking God to convict my husband. Then it comes to me.. He has convicted him, it just wasnt the way I thought it would be. I asked for comfort and it came through the Spirit and people and prayers. I feel amazing, secure and totally loved. I filed a restraining order and got the papers for my divorce. God told me He has something better for me if I would only trust Him. So here i sit trusting on the Lord and all my bills got paid and I am better than ok. I got my joy back!!!! my deperession is gone and i can sleep at night... thank you soo much for your prayers and your words and reassurance. God truly is amazing.:yes

Aw hun, that is so wonderful to hear! Indeed God is good. My prayers are with you and this new journey of your life. Keep your site on Christ.

 

[abigail]

The days have been long.. I have had a lot of time one on one with God.. everyday I discover new things about my relationship with Jesus.. a great life is one serving the Lord. :yes

 

[cleanfreak]

The days have been long.. I have had a lot of time one on one with God.. everyday I discover new things about my relationship with Jesus.. a great life is one serving the Lord. :yes

This is awesome to hear.

If he breaks the restraining order, call the local authorities immediately. They are there to help you.

 

[23Psalm]

Good to hear that things are working out for you. Your husband or ex husband is going to regret the way he treated you at some point in his life. It may take for him to see you happy with somebody else and living the life God wants you to live, but believe me, he will pay. Please be careful, as from what you wrote, he seems very unstable and unpredictable. Don't allow him to sweet talk you for a second to try to lure you into a trap. Trust God and listen to the Lord when he speaks to you about that situation. Trust God, and call the authorities if your ex comes near you. Stay safe.

 

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

I agree the emotional abuse is the worst.. he has never hit me but he has started raising his hand to me like he is going to. this action is new to the abuse.... our first years he bible beet me verbally, told me i was no good to God. so I changed, i was baptised and started living for God and serving him, but it only got worse. last year i tryed to commit suicide twice because i really believed him when he would tear me down. he went to rehab for 9 months, but this time he came home it was good for a month, he attended church then started the old behaviors and started pulling me away from my church where i have been for two years, saying that they only use me because they dont pay me for my work. when i tell him i dont need payed he says im stupid and being used. it was tearing my heart apart. i refused to leave my church and he started calling me un submissive.. these things hurt so bad because i try so hard to be subbmissive to him but its hard when he is drinking and using drugs and pornography.. I get so scared that God will be mad at me that it paralizes me.. i know we dont live by the law but grace.. this is so hard for me, i want to honor our marriage but i just can not go on like this anymore. the hardest part is financial, i am disabled and i cant make it without him. when he leaves me and my son are forced out of our home. we are living yo yos...

I'm an addictions counselor, Abigail, and I've seen this countless times. The addiction is progressive: It gets worse the longer is it left untreated. Frankly, I believe you've put up with the behavior for too long. Get out, as many others have said. God has no desire for you to be mentally, emotionally, spiritually and (eventually) physically abused. There is no requirement in the Bible for you to put up with that junk.

It might get his attention, but don't listen to the whinings this time, the ones where he says, "I'm sorry, I love you, it'll never happen again." Obviously he underwent treatment the last time not for true freedom from drugs, but simply to delay the inevitable, the loss of his wife and children. If true abstinence is not his primary reason for "getting clean and sober," it won't work. For the initial treatment to be effective, unfortunately, he has to be selfish and make it all about himself and a true, rational desire to get off pot and whatever else he might be using regularly.

When he tells you all those things again, tell him that's great, but this time he needs to get a drug treatment assessment, abide by the assessment's recommendations and continue in aftercare and/or reintegration (this is a transitional period that follows inpatient drug/alcohol treatment) as well as submit to Christian counseling through your church or through an acceptable alternative if your church doesn't offer counseling.

Protect yourself. Protect your child. That is the first order of business. Second is to preserve your marriage if at all possible, but take care of you and the children first. God bless, and I'll be praying for you.