GreenGables
Member
Before my daughter was born, I was pretty lost. It took 5 years to get her here, including 9 months of a high-risk pregnancy, 87 injections not including nightly gestational diabetes insulin injections, numerous rounds of bloodwork, finger pricks, and days spent wondering why I was going through all this. Then last year, my little one made it into the world- fearfully and wonderfully made, and everything made sense. It was around that point that I had to apologize to God for the time I spent being frustrated by the wait- for he knew what I couldn’t yet see- my beautiful, joyful, spirited, energetic girl, and all the other extra gifts that fell into place, like time. Extra time to spend with my daughter that I waited so long for. Had she been born any later or any earlier, I wouldn’t have been granted an extra 2 months on top of my 18 month maternity leave to spend with her (an incredible gift that I don't take lightly). Now, my journey doesn’t quite end there. 3 days after she was born I was hospitalized from an adrenal issue- something that has only ever happened to a handful of people worldwide (and could have had the potential to greatly harm me), and then 2 weeks later I got a call from newborn screening telling me that my newborn had tested positive for cystic fibrosis. It was easily the hardest time of my life. Now after a child tests positive with cystic fibrosis through bloodwork, they go for what is called a sweat test to double check the results, at that point though, I was honestly feeling completely hopeless. But then there on the wall of the sweat test waiting room was a plaque with Jesus, and I remember just fixating on it and calling out to him in my head asking him to make sure that my daughter would be okay, begging him to keep her safe, and that if it was between keeping her healthy and safe, or me, that he would choose her. Well here we are, 15 months later and so far, all of her sweat tests have come back negative for cystic fibrosis, and after scan after scan, my adrenal gland has healed. Now I don’t know what the future holds- my kiddo will have more sweat tests and appointments, and the future plan I had to carry more children myself might look different now, but I do know that God has a plan, his timing is perfect, and for the times that he has chosen me, loved me (loved all of us), I want to spend the rest of my lives choosing him. Don’t lose hope, God is with us.