I
Imagican
Guest
Guys and gals,
There are probably those, (at least one that I know of), that may be curious as to my testimony. Here it is:
From the age of thirteen or so, I began to be heavily involved with drugs and the life-style that went along with it, (I was a teenager in the 70's). My involvement in drugs and all that goes along with it escalated very quickly and by the time I was in high school I was already selling drugs for my money and my stash. After high school my ambition was to be 'big time' and all my efforts were directed to this. I graduated from high school, (only because my mother wouldn't give up), in 1979 and by 1980 I was making more money than I knew what to with. My success in this field continued for about three years. Then I met cocaine. Suffice is to say that everything took a nose dive and in short time I was a stone cold addict. Nothing else mattered except MORE.
Now for the part that matters. We have to go back now, before all the jail, and prison even. One day, back in the eighties, I started to read a book on the subconscious. It used a bunch of scripture to back up what it offered and at first I almost discarded it for this reason alone. I wasn't looking for religion, but a way to further empower myself through an understanding of the subconscious. I started reading it and decided to simply pass over the scripture. At this time I was working at a gas station which I was dealing drugs out of, (twelve hour shifts on my own and I was still living at home at this time, so the job was PERFECT for my life-style).
At one point I laid the book down and did something I'd NEVER done before, (except when in trouble), I offered something like a prayer to God. In this prayer I ask for a sign to let me know if He existed. I didn't ask for anything specific, but I did ask that when or IF the sign were given that I KNOW that it was the sign. Immediately as i finished my prayer, a car pulled in for gas.
I have to go back now and explain that this was back around 1980 and there were still gas stations back then that pumped the gas for you. And i need to set up the conditions of this story for it to have any relevance.
The night was terrible. Rainy and cold all night. People were as rude as they could be. Only rolling their windows down enough to squeeze their keys through the slit, (this was during our 'first' fuel crisis and because of the price of gas EVERYBODY had a locking gas cap). The keys falling in puddles, and me having to dig them out to struggle with all the different kinds of and positions that the caps were located. Suffice is to say that the evening was not going well. I was working a job that, had it not afforded me the ability to 'do my thing', 'sell drugs', I wouldn't have worked there more than the first day. So, here I am, hating this job, the people that I came in contact through it and just HOPING that NO ONE ELSE would come in the rest of the night. It was about 3:00 AM when I put the book down and the car pulled in.
So, I walk out to the car with an attitude and happen to notice that it was a mid 60's model of barracuda. Very old but in pretty good condition. Well used, but the body was original and straight. As I approached the drivers side window, it rolled all the way down and as I stated my greeting and asked if I could help them, a plain but pretty lady probably in her late twenties, obviously pregnant, look up at me and smiled a sincere warm smile as she handed me her keys and asked that I 'fill it up please'. Her smile I think affected me more than anything else but her voice too was warm, friendly and sincere. And she said PLEASE. WOW!
I remember walking back to the pump with a little more spring in my step and a little more enthusiastic attitude than that which I had when I had walked out in the rain only a minute before. The gas cap on this model was located on the side of the car, right behind and below the back of the rear windshield. I removed the cap, turned around and grabbed the handle of the gas pump, turned back around and placed it into the filler. As I did this, From the angle and position that I was standing I was afforded a view into the back windshield where that ledge used to be, (that we all put our 6 X 9's in). We called it the back 'deck'.
I glance in through the windshield and there on the 'deck', facing me as if I had just laid it there....... It could have been facing any one of 360 different positions, but instead of any other it was facing me as if I had laid it there perfectly, was a Holy Bible.
The sensation that I experienced was indescribable. I thought for a second that I would certainly fall down. I lost my balance and stumbled against the car. I remember the lady asking me over and over, "are you alright, are you alright?" It took me probably 30 seconds to regain my composure and answer her that I was fine. But I really wasn't. I finished our business and couldn't wait to get back inside and sit down. As I returned to the office and took my seat it was almost as if I heard a voice that told me 'I am REAL'. I immediately began to sob uncontrollably.
Now understand, I was the kind of guy that showed up at 'dead beats' doors with baseball bats to collect over due bills. I was the kind of guys that was much quicker to punch someone for an insult than to EVER watch 'chick-flicks' or do anything that didn't go along with the attitude that I wished to portray to EVERYONE that I came in contact with. And here I am, sitting in a stinking gas station office at 3:00 in the morning crying WORSE than a baby. I couldn't stop and didn't understand why. This was almost worse than what had just happened to me outside standing, (stumbling), next to the lady and her car.
The sensation was overwhelming. The closest thing I can describe it to is that feeling that any 'stoner' has experience after burning some potent weed and standing up real fast, X 100. A rush like NOTHING I had ever experienced or have since. Overwhelming and a bit scary, but with it a sense of something trying to convince me that everything was going to be OK.
So, I sat there in that office crying uncontrollably for A WHILE. It wasn't until this sense of letting go, and joy of sorts, was completely over that I was able to analyze what had just happened. I tried my best in my mind to blow it off and simply treat it as 'just something that happened'. IMPOSSIBLE. I KNEW what had just happened even though I fought the idea with everything within me. IMPOSSIBLE. As it truly sunk in I began to cry uncontrollably again.
People, there is NO DOUBT in my mind that, for SOME reason, I received EXACTLY what I had asked for. I asked for a sign, I got it. I asked that when I got the sign that I would KNOW IT, and boy did I know it.
This may sound silly to some, ridiculous to others, but it's a true story and this is how God found ME. A lonely, lost soul, sittin' in a gas station at 3:00 AM in the morning, unknowingly praying to myself. He does work in mysterious ways indeed.
No matter how many times I've told this story, words have never been able to do it justice. Suffice is to say that it changed my life in ways I could have NEVER perceived before that morning. I continued in my life style with changes coming gradual instead of 'all at once'. My drug dealing led me to jail and eventually prison. I was more 'afraid' of what had happened to me than gladdened by it.
It took me over a decade to start my 'true' walk that I am on now. I had thoughts over those years, about God, and that night, but mostly I tried to forget it, it scared me that bad.
It's been about six solid years now that God has been in my life. The miracles are numerous. Things that I COULD NOT change on my own were changed almost over-night once I let go of the idea that I could do things 'on my own'. I began to turn things over, COMPLETELY TURN THEM OVER, to God and those that He saw fit, He turned immediately. Some I have had to struggle with. He knows the difference, I don't. I just have to trust Him and that He knows the difference, (somethings took much effort to create, and therefore take a bit of effort for the changes to take place). I don't question, I just follow.
After a solid year of Bible study, (and I mean this literally), about four years ago, I found myself in a position that I had always dreamed of, but had never thought possible. Even those around me seemed to be traveling in slow motion, (other brothers and sisters at churches and other places that we met). It caused a lot of stir everywhere that I made contact. I think that the biggest and most notable sign of others discomfort was FEAR. Yes, FEAR. It was like most, (including pastors and people that had been in the Word ALL THEIR LIVES, seemed to sense that I could 'see into them' sort of. Like they were afraid that to carry on conversations concerning the Word would open up their souls and I may be able to see what was really in there. I know, I know, this sounds crazy, right? But so does the story that i told about the gas station, huh? The important part is that what i say here is the 'truth'.
Guys, I was guilty of ALMOST EVERY sin that a person could imagine. I never actually killed anyone that I know of, but I came close so many times I couldn't even give a guess. Robbed pharmacies, doctors offices, other drug dealers. It would be easier to tell you the things that I didn't do than to ever give a complete account of what I did do. I am not offering this to make myself look like SOMEBODY. I WAS NOBODY and then less. What happened in my life I cannot explain. I tear up as I write this asking, 'why me LORD?' This I cannot answer. But I can say that it has happened. God picked me up, dusted me off, and I have walked away a different man than anything resembling that life I had chosen for myself for so many years. God is good and it is amazing who or why He chooses to do what He chooses to do with.
Now I spend my time getting deeper and deeper into Biblical geography and history. I can't learn fast enough. And I do set aside about an hour a day to post on this forum.
So, this is my story. I'm not going into who I support or don't support. Who I give to, or who I don't. That, my friends, is none of ANYONE'S business, but between me and my God. I will add this though. It's through the study and revelations offered that I offer much of what I offer. I know that there are many here that deny much of what I offer. Each is given what each is given and that is NOT something that we can even question. It's a fact. Some are able to see somethings that other will NEVER see. Maybe it's because they don't 'need' to. I don't know the answer to that. But I do NOT attend a church. I am certainly a member of THE CHURCH and the fact that others insist that I must attend 'a church' just goes to show that they really don't understand what I do, for I KNOW that I am a member of THE CHURCH. So, if they are wrong about this, they are certainly capable of being wrong about many other things. To each their own though. There is a reason that EVERY ONE OF US IS HERE. I don't know what that reason is, but that there is a reason I have NO DOUBT.
I basically wrote this in the hopes that it may do someone some good to know that there is hope even for the very worst of us. If you could watch a movie of my life and then see me now you would find it absolutely amazing.
Oh, and I'm happily married to a woman who put up with more than a human should have to for close to twenty years, while everyone around her continually told her that it would NEVER happen. She had faith though and sometimes, for some things, that's all it takes.
So, if you have ever heard me mention that I may have obtained what I have through different means than many others. I don't mean this to mean anything other than that I have been in darkness where there WAS NO LIGHT. And I didn't choose God, He chose me for some reason. Maybe so i could tell you good folks that story that I've just told. I don't know and I don't care. I just thank Him constantly for saving my life.
Well, that's it for now. There are tons and tons of other details but I have honestly tried to keep it as 'to the point' as possible. So, that's me, then and now. And more importantly, this IS THE POWER OF GOD. He certainly performs miracles. SOME MORE MIRACULOUS THAN HEALING THE BLIND. For could physical blindness really compare to Spiritual blindness?
Oh yeah, and I am a carpenter by trade.
There are probably those, (at least one that I know of), that may be curious as to my testimony. Here it is:
From the age of thirteen or so, I began to be heavily involved with drugs and the life-style that went along with it, (I was a teenager in the 70's). My involvement in drugs and all that goes along with it escalated very quickly and by the time I was in high school I was already selling drugs for my money and my stash. After high school my ambition was to be 'big time' and all my efforts were directed to this. I graduated from high school, (only because my mother wouldn't give up), in 1979 and by 1980 I was making more money than I knew what to with. My success in this field continued for about three years. Then I met cocaine. Suffice is to say that everything took a nose dive and in short time I was a stone cold addict. Nothing else mattered except MORE.
Now for the part that matters. We have to go back now, before all the jail, and prison even. One day, back in the eighties, I started to read a book on the subconscious. It used a bunch of scripture to back up what it offered and at first I almost discarded it for this reason alone. I wasn't looking for religion, but a way to further empower myself through an understanding of the subconscious. I started reading it and decided to simply pass over the scripture. At this time I was working at a gas station which I was dealing drugs out of, (twelve hour shifts on my own and I was still living at home at this time, so the job was PERFECT for my life-style).
At one point I laid the book down and did something I'd NEVER done before, (except when in trouble), I offered something like a prayer to God. In this prayer I ask for a sign to let me know if He existed. I didn't ask for anything specific, but I did ask that when or IF the sign were given that I KNOW that it was the sign. Immediately as i finished my prayer, a car pulled in for gas.
I have to go back now and explain that this was back around 1980 and there were still gas stations back then that pumped the gas for you. And i need to set up the conditions of this story for it to have any relevance.
The night was terrible. Rainy and cold all night. People were as rude as they could be. Only rolling their windows down enough to squeeze their keys through the slit, (this was during our 'first' fuel crisis and because of the price of gas EVERYBODY had a locking gas cap). The keys falling in puddles, and me having to dig them out to struggle with all the different kinds of and positions that the caps were located. Suffice is to say that the evening was not going well. I was working a job that, had it not afforded me the ability to 'do my thing', 'sell drugs', I wouldn't have worked there more than the first day. So, here I am, hating this job, the people that I came in contact through it and just HOPING that NO ONE ELSE would come in the rest of the night. It was about 3:00 AM when I put the book down and the car pulled in.
So, I walk out to the car with an attitude and happen to notice that it was a mid 60's model of barracuda. Very old but in pretty good condition. Well used, but the body was original and straight. As I approached the drivers side window, it rolled all the way down and as I stated my greeting and asked if I could help them, a plain but pretty lady probably in her late twenties, obviously pregnant, look up at me and smiled a sincere warm smile as she handed me her keys and asked that I 'fill it up please'. Her smile I think affected me more than anything else but her voice too was warm, friendly and sincere. And she said PLEASE. WOW!
I remember walking back to the pump with a little more spring in my step and a little more enthusiastic attitude than that which I had when I had walked out in the rain only a minute before. The gas cap on this model was located on the side of the car, right behind and below the back of the rear windshield. I removed the cap, turned around and grabbed the handle of the gas pump, turned back around and placed it into the filler. As I did this, From the angle and position that I was standing I was afforded a view into the back windshield where that ledge used to be, (that we all put our 6 X 9's in). We called it the back 'deck'.
I glance in through the windshield and there on the 'deck', facing me as if I had just laid it there....... It could have been facing any one of 360 different positions, but instead of any other it was facing me as if I had laid it there perfectly, was a Holy Bible.
The sensation that I experienced was indescribable. I thought for a second that I would certainly fall down. I lost my balance and stumbled against the car. I remember the lady asking me over and over, "are you alright, are you alright?" It took me probably 30 seconds to regain my composure and answer her that I was fine. But I really wasn't. I finished our business and couldn't wait to get back inside and sit down. As I returned to the office and took my seat it was almost as if I heard a voice that told me 'I am REAL'. I immediately began to sob uncontrollably.
Now understand, I was the kind of guy that showed up at 'dead beats' doors with baseball bats to collect over due bills. I was the kind of guys that was much quicker to punch someone for an insult than to EVER watch 'chick-flicks' or do anything that didn't go along with the attitude that I wished to portray to EVERYONE that I came in contact with. And here I am, sitting in a stinking gas station office at 3:00 in the morning crying WORSE than a baby. I couldn't stop and didn't understand why. This was almost worse than what had just happened to me outside standing, (stumbling), next to the lady and her car.
The sensation was overwhelming. The closest thing I can describe it to is that feeling that any 'stoner' has experience after burning some potent weed and standing up real fast, X 100. A rush like NOTHING I had ever experienced or have since. Overwhelming and a bit scary, but with it a sense of something trying to convince me that everything was going to be OK.
So, I sat there in that office crying uncontrollably for A WHILE. It wasn't until this sense of letting go, and joy of sorts, was completely over that I was able to analyze what had just happened. I tried my best in my mind to blow it off and simply treat it as 'just something that happened'. IMPOSSIBLE. I KNEW what had just happened even though I fought the idea with everything within me. IMPOSSIBLE. As it truly sunk in I began to cry uncontrollably again.
People, there is NO DOUBT in my mind that, for SOME reason, I received EXACTLY what I had asked for. I asked for a sign, I got it. I asked that when I got the sign that I would KNOW IT, and boy did I know it.
This may sound silly to some, ridiculous to others, but it's a true story and this is how God found ME. A lonely, lost soul, sittin' in a gas station at 3:00 AM in the morning, unknowingly praying to myself. He does work in mysterious ways indeed.
No matter how many times I've told this story, words have never been able to do it justice. Suffice is to say that it changed my life in ways I could have NEVER perceived before that morning. I continued in my life style with changes coming gradual instead of 'all at once'. My drug dealing led me to jail and eventually prison. I was more 'afraid' of what had happened to me than gladdened by it.
It took me over a decade to start my 'true' walk that I am on now. I had thoughts over those years, about God, and that night, but mostly I tried to forget it, it scared me that bad.
It's been about six solid years now that God has been in my life. The miracles are numerous. Things that I COULD NOT change on my own were changed almost over-night once I let go of the idea that I could do things 'on my own'. I began to turn things over, COMPLETELY TURN THEM OVER, to God and those that He saw fit, He turned immediately. Some I have had to struggle with. He knows the difference, I don't. I just have to trust Him and that He knows the difference, (somethings took much effort to create, and therefore take a bit of effort for the changes to take place). I don't question, I just follow.
After a solid year of Bible study, (and I mean this literally), about four years ago, I found myself in a position that I had always dreamed of, but had never thought possible. Even those around me seemed to be traveling in slow motion, (other brothers and sisters at churches and other places that we met). It caused a lot of stir everywhere that I made contact. I think that the biggest and most notable sign of others discomfort was FEAR. Yes, FEAR. It was like most, (including pastors and people that had been in the Word ALL THEIR LIVES, seemed to sense that I could 'see into them' sort of. Like they were afraid that to carry on conversations concerning the Word would open up their souls and I may be able to see what was really in there. I know, I know, this sounds crazy, right? But so does the story that i told about the gas station, huh? The important part is that what i say here is the 'truth'.
Guys, I was guilty of ALMOST EVERY sin that a person could imagine. I never actually killed anyone that I know of, but I came close so many times I couldn't even give a guess. Robbed pharmacies, doctors offices, other drug dealers. It would be easier to tell you the things that I didn't do than to ever give a complete account of what I did do. I am not offering this to make myself look like SOMEBODY. I WAS NOBODY and then less. What happened in my life I cannot explain. I tear up as I write this asking, 'why me LORD?' This I cannot answer. But I can say that it has happened. God picked me up, dusted me off, and I have walked away a different man than anything resembling that life I had chosen for myself for so many years. God is good and it is amazing who or why He chooses to do what He chooses to do with.
Now I spend my time getting deeper and deeper into Biblical geography and history. I can't learn fast enough. And I do set aside about an hour a day to post on this forum.
So, this is my story. I'm not going into who I support or don't support. Who I give to, or who I don't. That, my friends, is none of ANYONE'S business, but between me and my God. I will add this though. It's through the study and revelations offered that I offer much of what I offer. I know that there are many here that deny much of what I offer. Each is given what each is given and that is NOT something that we can even question. It's a fact. Some are able to see somethings that other will NEVER see. Maybe it's because they don't 'need' to. I don't know the answer to that. But I do NOT attend a church. I am certainly a member of THE CHURCH and the fact that others insist that I must attend 'a church' just goes to show that they really don't understand what I do, for I KNOW that I am a member of THE CHURCH. So, if they are wrong about this, they are certainly capable of being wrong about many other things. To each their own though. There is a reason that EVERY ONE OF US IS HERE. I don't know what that reason is, but that there is a reason I have NO DOUBT.
I basically wrote this in the hopes that it may do someone some good to know that there is hope even for the very worst of us. If you could watch a movie of my life and then see me now you would find it absolutely amazing.
Oh, and I'm happily married to a woman who put up with more than a human should have to for close to twenty years, while everyone around her continually told her that it would NEVER happen. She had faith though and sometimes, for some things, that's all it takes.
So, if you have ever heard me mention that I may have obtained what I have through different means than many others. I don't mean this to mean anything other than that I have been in darkness where there WAS NO LIGHT. And I didn't choose God, He chose me for some reason. Maybe so i could tell you good folks that story that I've just told. I don't know and I don't care. I just thank Him constantly for saving my life.
Well, that's it for now. There are tons and tons of other details but I have honestly tried to keep it as 'to the point' as possible. So, that's me, then and now. And more importantly, this IS THE POWER OF GOD. He certainly performs miracles. SOME MORE MIRACULOUS THAN HEALING THE BLIND. For could physical blindness really compare to Spiritual blindness?
Oh yeah, and I am a carpenter by trade.
