T
The Busymind
Guest
The following are three blogs that i pulled out of someones Myspace. Tell me what you think.
Truth
Current mood: sad
Here I am again, it's way too late at night for this, but it's quiet and I can't sleep. I have left my husband and my home because of abuse that wouldn't stop. No regular beatings (at least, not with fists), but verbal and mental none the same. I've been with him for 7 years. The first four off and on and the last 3 really "on". I stayed this long becasue of my faith in the Lord and my dedication to my church, kids adn my marriage. I am very saddened because of the faith adn trust that I placed in him. Not Jesus, my spouse. I do still 100% trust in the Lord and I have faith. I left him amessage , telling him that the kids and I were going to a safe place and I still haven't heard from him. It's been almost a week. I know a blessing in disguise, I suppose. But it is aalso the truth of th matter that hurts. He had been talking about leaving and he hadn't been happy for a while. He fell and fell hard. He placed his company in the place that God should be - first and his love for money and sucess became his idol. He sacrificed his family and His God for his desires. So his lack of communication with me just tells me the truth - he wanted out adn didn't have the courage to tell me. That hurts. Just be honest. That I can deal with. I believe that God gave me discernment to realize that he(hubby) was discontented with me and his family. That is why I'm not surprised really, just sad. I really wanted this to work. I really wanted a godly marraige. I wanted him to lead me spirtually, be my emotional shoulder, my protector, my physical shelter. But, alas, it does not seem meant to be. I pray for him to come back to the Lord. I pray that God will use this situation to bring him to his knees in humility and to see his need for God, not mammon. I'm now dealing with the okay now what? I'm not sure which way to go. About 3 months ago, I said to the Lord in prayer that becasue my earthly husband could not fulfill his duties, that the Lord is now my husband. And He showed Himself to be very faithful to that promise. He provided for our basic needs, He comforted me when the pain was too much for me to bear and He guided and directed me into the decision that I made to seek shelter. And now that I am physically apart from my spouse, He is my husband in every part of my life. So now I am seeking Him in guiding me through the next stage. Oh sure, I wonder where the money is going to come for me to find a place to live, and if I will get a job that pays and good hours. I'm human, but I trust in God for everything and I believe that He will put me to the test. He will never leave me nor forsake me. Fear not He says for I am with you til the ends of the earth. He reminded me of that yesterday morning as I was getting ready to go to a new church. And He met me in the sanctuary and touched my heart and soul once more with His spirit. My biggest concern right now, is that I need to speak to my old pastor (who told me to stay) and see if I can continue to homeschhol my kids through them. One daughter is graduating this year snd the other one is not school material. So that is on my mind and heart. So if you read this blog please pray that I will find favor in that pastor's eyes and God Almighty will go before me and pave the way for a yes answer. Thanks for reading through this to this part. It is the end, I need sleep and I feel a bit better for getting feelings off my chest. God is good and He is still on the throne!! Praise the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!! Goodnight all and God bless you.
Truth II
This is an update to "truth". My husband and I are talking again, unfortunaltly not all of it is good. He wants a divorce. But he wants me to get it and I won't. I have no Biblical basis for breaking God's covenant. And I told him that. I told him that if he wants one so bad then he needs to do it himself adn I guess on Thurs that's what he did. He went to his attny and signed the paperwork. I need to go see if it's been filed or on calendar. I'm afraid to honestly because if it is that will be so difficult to handle. He told me today that he is hardening his heart towards me because I have asked him to wear his wedding ring again and he won't. I asked him to start counseling by himself and he won't unless I move back home with him in his new house that he bought after I left. He says once I move in with him then he'll change but until then no go. And he won't compromise his stand. I'm tired of the drama, but I know in my heart that the Lord is still directing me on all this. I am going through trials and tribulations, car problems, babysitting issues, new job that I feel so lost in. So on and so forth. However through all this I have a peace that surpassess understanding. Crazy as it seems I know in my heart(wicked thing that it is), that I am where God has placed me for His time. I pray for my husband every day. I pray that he would soften his heart towards me and our marriage and it seems that it's going in the exact opposit. So please pray for me to be strong and of good courage and that I do the will of God and not the will of man. Thankfully on the radio tonight, a woman shared her testimony that she left an abusive husband but remained true to her marriage vows. She weent through difficulties, but in the end God was most definitly victorious. God worked in her husband and restored her marriage and lifted her up. That is why I love the Jars of Clay song on my profile. Because God is lifting me up and setting me on His high places, not out of the storm, but I am under His shelter and though I am getting drenched, I can still feel His warmth and His presence next to me. So, I find myself in the desert place, wandering, but not forsaken. Blessed be the name of the Lord!!!!
Night all and may God bless you.
God's Unfailing love
Current mood: In AWE
Its been awhile since I was on here last. But here is the lowdown, my husband adn I are back together!!! It happened over Christmas and I am overwhelmed by the hand of the Lord in it all. My husband was at the point were he wanted out so bad that he was on his way to Mexico to meet whomever and be done with our marriage biblically. God had other things in mind though. A brother in Christ called him for immediate help ( he was in the middle of getting beaten up) and my husband is one of those guys who helps people. So what Satan had planned for that night, God was the Victor ( as usual). It was the next nght that we had a long talk and I lost it with him. I yelled, I cried, I bared my heart and soul to him. I loved adn needed him, period end of comment. However, I wanted him to have the relationship with Christ first and foremost. I guess that night began a turning point for him and on Christmas day when the pastor asked if anyone wanted to recommit their lives to Christ, he did!!! I can't say that it has been honeymoon stage since because there is a lot of spiritual warfare going on. The enemy has been putting doubts in his mind of my love for him and lying to him that being single would've been better. However, God is so good because he is going to chrch with me and on Wed night he was singing with the worship. Hasn't done that in over a year!!!! So praise God for His neverending, unfailing love!!!! Please pray for me and for us against the powers of darkness. I still struggle with fear sometimes, but I am learning to trust God day by day and to pray for my husband all the time. We are not out of the woods, but we are getting closer to the clearing. Thank you all for your prayers and support. I praise and thank God for you all. His name is Max -hubby. May the Lord continue to bless you all exceedinly and abundantly above all that you think or even ask.