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Need advice dealing with my daughter's bully problem.

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Rob

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My daughter is only 6 years old and in the 1st grade this year. She gets along great with most of the students in her class but we have been having problems with some of the older children on the school bus. Of course I talked with the bus driver this morning and I will talk to the principal if the bus driver doesn't do anything about it. My problem is teaching my daughter the proper way to handle these situations. Right now she(my daughter) is really shy and doesn't even tell anyone what is going on. The only way I found out about the situation was because a friend of hers that lives next door told me about it. I'm trying to teach her to take up for herself, not with her fists but with her words. I can get her to do this just fine at home but I can't seem to get her to do it with other people like at school. I don't want her to be pushed around by kids twice her size, and the fact that she could put a stop to it by simply saying something to an adult makes it worse. I've even tried teaching her to tell the bullies, "mean people are not worth my time" and again, at home she does it but on the bus she won't. I guess I can't blame her for not saying anything to the child that is twice her size and age but I can't figure out her reason for not telling an adult or at least me. After I asked her about it she told me about the bullying but won't give a reason for not telling me. It breaks my heart that such a kind hearted little girl is having to put up with such mean little children. I really want to go teach the parents of the child bullying my child a lesson or two but I know thats the wrong way. Can anyone please offer me some advice on how to handle this situation; I'm just too caught up in the situation to think about it properly. TIA

Robert
 
It sounds like you are handling this well. Maybe try to get your daughter to sit near the front of the bus if possible.

I think you should get her to talk about it with you. Kids have the capacity to lock up such memoies and feelings and not deal with them until much later. So getting her to deal with this now should help her in the long term.

Quath
 
My heart breaks for you and your daughter because we went through the same thing. My daughter eventually started coming home with bruises from the kid kicking her and we took her out and homeschooled for the rest of the year. We switched schools and things are now wonderful.

It sounds like you are handling things the best way possible as of now. I would also call the school board and remind them that they should enforce their No Bullying policy. If they don't have one, then one needs to be put into place.

We also enrolled our daughter into child self defense classes because she was very shy like your daughter. They were helpful, but not helpful enough to stop the kid from constantly bullying her. The parents were called on a daily basis because of the kid, yet the school refused to expel a kindergartner.
 
Can anyone please offer me some advice on how to handle this situation;
Click to expand...

Ju-Jitsu is actually a good solution, and it may come in handy for her later in life. Or if you need something that requires a little less dedication, tell her to make friends with the biggest kid on the bus. Or as Quath suggested, tell her sit up front by the bus driver.
 
Ju-Jitsu not the answer

While my heart is sad for anyone being picked on, the type of personality that is quiet and meek is not the type who would suddenly change with "confidence" and a few Ju-Jitsue lessons. Our minds create fantasies that the bully will “get his†with a little trained force. Unfortunately, this rarely happens in real life.

Careful strategy can help keep the bully accountable. Having your child sit in the front of the bus, training her to yell or call out when being bullied and other methods will help.

You have a very important job - that of being parent. I pray you will find a successful way to help your child deal with this bully.

Mark
http://blog.colossians2.com/
 
Since the bully goes to your child's school, your daughter could possibly tell you the kids names and you could have a chat with their parents?
 
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