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Need your critique on a script I am writing.

ynnebulator

Member
I dont know if many of you have seen the amount of negative Christian videos that are on youtube, along with some great testimonies too.

I have desided to start writing a script for a video i wish to produce and host on youtube.

My aim is to write it in such a way that it encourages the reader to want to watch it to the end. I have tried to present it from a secular standpoint, and make it as logical as possible.

I have had a few problems crossing over from the logical standpoint to the spiritual stand point. I know at some stage this has to happen, but I am doubting I have done this well.

Could you please suggest some ways to rewrite the script?

Thanks Benny





BRAIN WASHED AND WEAK MINDED

Have you ever wondered what would make a person become a Christian? Have you ever written them off as weak minded people who can’t think for themselves? I have. In the past I have thought of Christians as fools who are sucked in by some other mans ideas, and are people who are been exploited to the gain of those who lead such cults.
Have you ever wondered what it was that was said to them that would cause these people to allow them selves to be brainwashed in such a way? Many times I have thought of myself as too smart to be someone else’s stooge.

That been said, I have never believed that mans existence came about through an extraordinary set of coincidences by some random chaotic evolutionary process. I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it before, but to believe we are just some accident, and all life on this planet is just pot luck, that takes a lot of faith too. I observe all life around me, take a leaf for example. A leaf that absorbs air, turns sunlight into energy, feeds a tree, and its intricate build. I just cant believe that has mindlessly evolved. Multiply that by many billions of other life forms on this earth, did they all just happen? Is there a God?

What about life itself? Take two persons lying beside each other. One person died only moments ago, the other is alive and well. Both have the exact same make up, they both have full body components, and yet one is dead, and the other isn’t. What’s the difference? Does one have a soul and the other not?

What about the matter in this universe? Where did it come from? Or even the space for the matter to exist in? Let’s imagine your mind can fathom that, ( Mine cant) but where did the rules come from to make that matter appear from no where?

Have you ever read scientific explanations about these things, and yet still doubted the credibility of these theories? I have. You’d have to be weak minded if you didn’t at least ask those questions. Surely you cant just skip over them and not face the questions face on?

Think about an ant for example, and the programming that has gone into it. It knows how to walk, maneuver through terrain, forage for food, how to find its nest again, breed, leave scents for its brothers and a host of other functions. Recently there was a competition to design a vehicle that would be able to navigate its way through a rough desert without a driver. Many of the vehicles failed. They employed bulky computers, GPS navigation, and a host of other instruments. They struggled to achieve what an ant takes for granted, and at many thousandths of the size. How does an ant do what man with all his high technology cant do? I find it impossible to believe that ant was not intelligently designed. Don’t you ?

In the past this and many other similar questions proved a dilemma for me. I had the choice to sit on the fence of indecision, or to consider other explanations. I also had the choice to ignore other explanations and refuse to keep looking. But that would be weak minded too, similar to those Christians.

With this dilemma, I now must at least look at the idea of there been a God, or divine creator.
So what one, surely all the religions cant be right? I know this may sound like strange logic, but one of the reasons I did descide to look at Christianity, is because of the amount of people who use Jesus’s name as a swear word. Total no believers use it, people from other religions use it.
I have often wondered why. Its not like it’s a great sounding word to use as a swear word. I have used much better words myself in the past, “Jesus†just doesn’t do it for me. I wonder if there was some spiritual reason that cause people to use it ? Actually I have found there is. Christians believe in a spirit world. In that world there is God and his heavenly creations, angels etc. But there is also a demonic world too, where the devil and his demons dwell too. The Bible, a book that Christians believe is the Word of God describes many things about the spiritual dimension. One of the things it talks about, is the fact that the devil hates God and will try to do what ever he can to hurt God. The devil having less power than God knows the only way he can hurt Him is to cause humans ( who God loves) to blaspheme Him, Blaspheme is a word used for cursing Gods Name. Most of the time people unknowingly use the name of Jesus as a swear word. They really have no idea why they say it, but they just do. The devil knows that he cant attack God directly so he uses humans to try to hurt the heart of God.

You are probably wondering why I mentioned all of this? As I said earlier, that is why my strange logic made me examine Christianity first as a possible answer to my questions. You don’t hear people using Buddha, or Mohammad as a swear word do you?

After talking to Christians on many occasions and considering what they said, I thought I would do what they suggested, and simply pray to ask God to forgive me of my sins, and ask Jesus into my life. I was also told that by simply asking God for forgiveness, that he was willing to forgive me just like that. It all seemed a bit to easy, surely I would have to do some good things to counter all the bad things I had done in my life? I was assured not, and was shown may passages in the bible where it said I didn’t. I can now see why they call it the good news.

At this stage you are probably thinking, the guys started of this video with logical rationale, but all of a sudden he has gone religious on me. I need to tell you what has happened to me after I did ask Jesus in my life. I want to tell you my experiences with God that are independent of some cultish influence. After I did ask Jesus into my life I started to experience a relationship with Him, It was different than what I expected. I suddenly had a knowledge I had an intimate friend who was with me always. I want to stress there was no power of suggestion for other Christians,
Most of my experiences with Him were private and while I was alone. After a while I told some of my Christian friends about my experiences and they got so excited because they knew what I was talking about, because the same sorts of things had, and were happening to them too.
It was at this stage I could see that what I had earlier thought about Christians been weak minded and brainwashed by a cult was very wrong. The brainwashing, if you could call it that, was actually the live influence of a living God who dwelled within me. The same Living God who dwells inside of millions of other Christians. That been said there are cults out there that do exploit people, and even under the banner of Christianity. This is why I would encourage people to become a Christian first, and then prayfully and cautiously find a good church of like minded people. Remembering there is a Devil who will use any trick he can to lead new Christians and anyone for that matter astray.

Still to be finished
 
Sounds pretty good. I could imagine that some will write it off just as you start talking about design in nature. Maybe you could go deeper into the philosophical first?

Personally, in my own journey to meet Christ, I first realized the philosophical implications of the "by chance" mindset. If we really are just here completely by chance, then what's the point? What's the point of living one way or another? What are the rules? What's the point of living? "By chance" reasoning led me to some very grim conclusions.

I also came to ponder something else interesting: If there is no rhyme or reason to the whereabouts of everything, why is there such a thing as reason? Reason. Logic. Such simple concepts we use everday without knowing it. We agree one word means one thing and a different word another thing. Thats logic! The whole concept of language is based upon logic. The scientific process is based upon it, and philosophers must use it. And yet, popular culture constantly tries to undercut it. Even many modern philosophers, scientists, and great thinkers try to undercut "reason" with "by chance" and fail to see the feebleness in it.

They undercut their own reasoning in coming to the conclusion that there is no such thing as reason.

In effect they've just claimed that they themselves are nonsensical and all their grand ideas that led them to their conclusions actually do not exist! All without realizing it!

Why not just accept "reason" on faith? We must really, it is all we can do to stay reasonable. For me, accepting that I must live by faith anyways, brought me closer to having faith in Him.

That realization was a step for me, but He did have to finally lift me up to Himself. ;)
 
Critique - Just suggestions, typo corrections and friendly advice

Paragraph 2 - "That been said" needs to be change to "That being said"

Paragraph 3 - What about life itself? Take two persons lying beside each other. One person died only moments ago, the other is alive and well. Both have the exact same make up, they both have full body components, and yet one is dead, and the other isn’t. What’s the difference? Does one have a soul and the other not? This needs to be explained with the Bible verse included or left out.

Paragraph 4 - "What about the matter in this universe?" needs to be change to "What about matter in this universe? Also this paragraph has no references. It ends with a question. And its to vague. Evolutionists will just all over this.

Paragraph 8 - "Total no believers use it" needs to be change to "Totally no believers use it". This statement is also false in a few senses, and needs to be eliminated or reworded.

I'd give more references, the thoughts of what your trying to say come together at the end very well. But the beginning is lacking I a little direction to the point your trying to make, but not bad. Remember, this won't reach all people, just some who would watch, and take the message to heart.
 
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