[__ Prayer __] New member in NEED of prayer!!!

[sheprays]

Beginning of story:
My morning started off okay until my younger sister and I got into a screaming match this morning. After a 5 minutes of screaming my sister charged down the hallway and attacked me. I am petite (93 lbs) and she's built. I would've gotten more injured if my father hadn't intervened. I called the cops. While waiting for the police, I overheard her and my father say some horrific things about me. Things that hurt.

A Brief Background:
I am 31 year old college grad with a bachelors degree in fashion marketing pursuing a masters in global fashion marketing, no children out of wedlock, and focused on my goals. My sister is also a college grad who scored high on her MCATs and is trying to get accepted into med school. My parents (esp. my father) are very judgmental of me because I am pursuing a career in retail management. It is my PASSION!! I love it! And it is my dream someday to finally have my own big box luxury store eventually catapulting into regional management. They seem to favor her because she desires to become a physician. It hurts so bad. I have no support system except my grandma.

Back to the story:
Now while waiting for the cops, my sister calls me a loser. I hear my father agree with her. And he proceeds to say I have a two bit job. Then she says I'm pathetic. Wow that hurt me to the core. After the police leave, I confront him and he lies denying he said all of that. I was in the other room! Bottom line is my immediate family (mom, dad-esp, and, younger sister) look down on me because I'm not pursuing a profession that's not considered worthy in their eyes. They (esp sis and dad) constantly say condescending remarks when I come to them about my accomplishments. There's more to vent about but I'll be here all day. I need advice and prayer. I feel so alone! I'm also tired of feeling like a victim. I just wanna block out the negativity and focus on the goals and dreams God put in my heart! Note: This is NOT the 1st time my sister physically attacked me.

 

[AirDancer]

You're in my prayers, Sheprays.

You're in an difficult situation. You have called law enforcement on your sister. Did you press charges? If not, why didn't you? You do not need to be abused, nor should you allow it.

Advice? If I was in your position, I would make arrangements quickly to move out. Living on a shoe-string budget wouldn't be the most fun, yet it would free you from living in a threatening environment.
However, if you're determined to reach your goals, then the few months of scraping by financially (this is only a guess on my part) would be well-worth the freedom from fear.

No family is perfect. Still, you should not be in a position where you feel the need to call the police for your own safety. Move out, Hon, as soon as you can.

 

[Speculative]

Praying for you, sheprays. And I agree with AirDancer. Move out as soon as you possibly can.

 

[Matthew G]

I agree with the above statements. I'm going to copy and paste something I posted in a thread a few months ago because, while my situation wasn't as urgent as yours, I shared much of the same experience. I should preface this by saying that I had moved back home a couple of years ago when my wife and I split up. At the time I started looking into studying for ministry, we were already reconciled, but waiting until we could afford to move back in together. I'll skip to the end if you like, and tell you what I did. I moved out. That meant 4 (and now 5 because my son was born last July) people are sharing a 2 bedroom apartment. It's hard, and not ideal, but it's much better than what I was facing before.



I'm not going to sit here and say I hard a harsh or empty childhood, because I didn't. However, it was (in my opinion) still a far cry from what I'd consider "ideal". My father was a small business owner who worked nearly 100 hours a week for over ten years. During that time, the norm in my house was for him to be gone by the time I got up for school, and not to come home until after I had gone to bed. My mother (I don't want to sound like I'm bashing or dishonoring, I feel she did the best she could) wasn't much of a homemaker, filling her time at home with either the television or computer, who frankly put more effort into being my younger sister's best friend than she did into being a mother for either of us. The part that bears on this conversation, however, is that fact that (again, I love my parents dearly, but I'm being honest) they are both bitter, selfish, overbearing and unforgiving people.

While there was never any physical abuse in my house, there was verbal abuse on a daily basis. I grew up hearing repeatedly about all the times I had made mistakes, or how I should have done "x" this way, or "y" that way, or I'd never amount to anything because of "a, b and c". They harshly enforced their will on my life for years due to the simple fact that I knew it was the only way to shut them up. I'm now 28 years old, and even up to just 2 or 3 years ago these verbal assaults continued. Even worse, they continued in front of my children (namely my oldest daughter, who is 7). As just one specific example - I've been called to ministry, and am currently studying to work toward that end. When I finally told my parents, they both literally laughed in my face and pointed out the times I had lied, cheated, smoked or drank, etc. Their exact words were, "Yeah, some kinda preacher you'll make." In short order, my daughter repeated these insights, because she had heard them from my parents. For obvious reasons, this is completely unacceptable, and for over a year my parents had nothing at all to do with their grandchildren because I refused to allow it. However, I felt it wasn't fair to my children to punish them because of my parents' actions or my own lack of action.

I did the only thing I could do. I prayed. It wasn't excessive or fancy, and basically boiled down to, "Lord, you know what I need better than I do. Whatever that is, please give it to me, and show me what to do with it."


As you can see, there was no physical abuse, but it was abuse nevertheless. I asked God what to do, and He told me to get out, so I did. As I said, it's been hard, but I wouldn't trade it for the other way for anything in the world. I'll be praying for you, sister. May the Lord bless you.

 

[Fembot]

Truth is, the devil uses other people to try and turn you against God. Family or not, you don't deserve that treatment and must get away. In the future, things may get better or you may have to love them from a distance. I understand too well what you're going through and I pray that you stay strong. Most importantly, I am so happy that you turned to a Christian forum to vent and didn't something hurtful to yourself. God hears your cry and knows that you have faith in Him. So surround yourself with loving, thoughtful Christians who won't judge your career choice or anything else for that matter. After God, you're in control of your life...

 

[WinterRose]

 

[providence]

got into a screaming match this morning. After a 5 minutes of screaming my sister charged down the hallway and attacked me. . .i need advice and prayer.

sheprays, God, who chose fishermen and shepherds, does not judge man by outward appearance as man does (1 Samuel 16:7, 1 Corinthians 1:27). Throughout Proverbs there is advice about restraint in speech (Proverbs 10:19,15:1,17:27,18:8,26:4,12:16,27:2,26:20 to give a few, or see compilations like http://www.thoughtsontheway.org/2007/11/speech-and-speaking-in-book-of-proverbs.html). In the midst of bad behavior and provocations in family, God provides a role for discernment (Abigail in 1 Samuel 25:1-43), and I pray that you may have discernment, peace within, and in your life glorify Him.