betteroffdead
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The Southern Association of Political Scientists (SAPS), meeting at their quadrennial national convention at Whatsamatta U, have announced their acceptance of a $12 million federal grant to study the pacass.
The pacass is either of two species of bacteria in the genus Washingtonii[/quote]. Washingtonii pacassensus is a hybrid created by the conjugation of a Republican politician (Hypocriticus pachydermus) with a Democratic politician (Hypocriticus jackass). The other species, Washingtonii bueropacasstaxus, is a hybrid cross between a lobbyist and either a Democrat or Republican politician, although a senior member of SAPS, speaking on the condition of anonymity, says that some political scientists believe that tri-crosses between a lobbyist and both a Democrat and Republican politician may be possible. “Some field work does suggest the existence of tri-crosses,†the member said, “but so far no tri-cross has been found in nature and all efforts to produce one in captivity have been unsuccessful.â€
The pacassensus is the less numerous species, but it is the species that was discovered first and thus has been the most studied. Pacassensi (the plural of pacassensus) is a politician that never knows where he is going or what he is doing because he is constantly trying to satisfy voters on both sides of the political spectrum in an effort to be re-elected. Pacassensi are notorious for their inability to show any leadership, especially on hot button political issues such as abortion, healthcare, national security, education, taxes, the federal budget, welfare reform, etcetera, etcetera ad infinitum.
The bueropacasstaxus species is less well known; it was discovered after its sister species and political scientists have only recently begun studying it in detail. Bueropacasstaxus is a difficult political species to isolate in the wild and since they cannot tolerate close observation or scrutiny they generally do not survive for any length of time in captivity at any of the research facilities where they have been kept, notably Leavenworth, Fort Dix, Attica, Joliet and Folsom. Political scientists have confirmed that Bueropacasstaxi (the plural of Bueropacasstaxus) are the main cause of muddied and inconsistent legislation that routinely comes from legislative bodies.
Both species of pacass are believed to have originated along the banks of the Potomac River, which is the region where they were both first found. Both species have now been naturalized in every statehouse in the United States as well as in many city halls, school boards and zoning commissions on both sides of the Mississippi River.
Unlike other hybrid organisms, that cannot reproduce themselves true to form, both species of pacass can mate and produce fertile offspring that represent the genetic traits of the previous parent generation. Both species seem to mate continuously, but there is a distinct mating season that runs from mid-August to the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November of every even-numbered year.
The pacass is either of two species of bacteria in the genus Washingtonii[/quote]. Washingtonii pacassensus is a hybrid created by the conjugation of a Republican politician (Hypocriticus pachydermus) with a Democratic politician (Hypocriticus jackass). The other species, Washingtonii bueropacasstaxus, is a hybrid cross between a lobbyist and either a Democrat or Republican politician, although a senior member of SAPS, speaking on the condition of anonymity, says that some political scientists believe that tri-crosses between a lobbyist and both a Democrat and Republican politician may be possible. “Some field work does suggest the existence of tri-crosses,†the member said, “but so far no tri-cross has been found in nature and all efforts to produce one in captivity have been unsuccessful.â€
The pacassensus is the less numerous species, but it is the species that was discovered first and thus has been the most studied. Pacassensi (the plural of pacassensus) is a politician that never knows where he is going or what he is doing because he is constantly trying to satisfy voters on both sides of the political spectrum in an effort to be re-elected. Pacassensi are notorious for their inability to show any leadership, especially on hot button political issues such as abortion, healthcare, national security, education, taxes, the federal budget, welfare reform, etcetera, etcetera ad infinitum.
The bueropacasstaxus species is less well known; it was discovered after its sister species and political scientists have only recently begun studying it in detail. Bueropacasstaxus is a difficult political species to isolate in the wild and since they cannot tolerate close observation or scrutiny they generally do not survive for any length of time in captivity at any of the research facilities where they have been kept, notably Leavenworth, Fort Dix, Attica, Joliet and Folsom. Political scientists have confirmed that Bueropacasstaxi (the plural of Bueropacasstaxus) are the main cause of muddied and inconsistent legislation that routinely comes from legislative bodies.
Both species of pacass are believed to have originated along the banks of the Potomac River, which is the region where they were both first found. Both species have now been naturalized in every statehouse in the United States as well as in many city halls, school boards and zoning commissions on both sides of the Mississippi River.
Unlike other hybrid organisms, that cannot reproduce themselves true to form, both species of pacass can mate and produce fertile offspring that represent the genetic traits of the previous parent generation. Both species seem to mate continuously, but there is a distinct mating season that runs from mid-August to the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November of every even-numbered year.
