[__ Prayer __] on a lil vacay..

[Christ_empowered]

..with the folks. It'll soon be my dad's b-day. This is a huge step forward in terms of my relationship with my parents. They care about me, and I care about them. Its also great to escape that dreadful little town we all 3 call home. --shudder--

On the plus side, I can tell now that I've been hearing voices, I guess as part of this "illness" or what have you, for a while now. I --do-- have some angry, not so great people living around me, but I also...hear voices. Good to know, lol.

I'm blessed all over. The beach is awesome ((no swimming, lol)) even though it just got hit by that hurricane.


Praise God for His mercy and goodness. My parents love me and I love them, and The Lord is at work in our lives. Thanks .

 

[Angel]

Thanks Jesus!
Praying for ya. I love the ocean, you lucky guy you.

 

[jasonc]

In my state the storm made a new inlet.

 

[jasonc]

https://weather.com/storms/hurrican...matthew-before-after?cm_ven=FB_WX_JK_101316_5

 

[Christ_empowered]

OK. So, my mama told me that she and my dad are impressed by my "incredible progress" of late. God is good!

Its crazy...mental illness is something you have, not something you are, but...at the same time...mine was so all-consuming for a time there, it was...rough.

The ocean is nice. I can step out onto the back patio or..whatever its called...and see the ocean. Not super close, but...close enough .

God is good!

 

[Angel]

Awesome!!!
That is so cool!
It tickles me with joy all the things that God is doing in your life.

 

[Christ_empowered]

thanks, angel

Verna said something the other night that stuck with me. she raised her kids to be Christian and they're mostly not interested now. But...she said..."you appreciate Jesus saving you." I think we both do, angel, and so do a lot of other people here and in churches all over America.

Writing this more for me than anything else...its like, the more I appreciate what Jesus has done and is doing, for me and in general, the better I am...I mean, the better I feel, think, act, everything. I'm not a snot nosed brat now, and I appreciate my parents more and school more and...and...and...you get the picture. Now I just gotta lose the weight, lol (because I also appreciate my health more...).

Oh, btw...this place is non-smoking, so I've been 3 days, not a single cigarette. No freak outs!

 

[Angel]

You know, I dont read the gosples a lot, but every time I get to the crucifixion I cry. God is good.

Good job on not smoking. This could be a gift from God for the means to quit. You are doing good. If you make it a week without smoking don't go back to it!!!

 

[Christ_empowered]

im back now. there's...peace with my parents that wasn't there before. warmth, too. My mama went off to the grocery store when we got home. she asked if I needed anything, I said just some alfredo sauce (pasta kick...btw: try the high protein pasta from barilla....). So, she came back with some other goodies I'm into right now, and...well, its small-ish gestures that sometimes show where someone's heart is.

I cracked on smoking. Its strange...so, I went off to get coffee. I got 1 pack of cigarettes. I started smoking with the coffee (creature of habit...) and...its not so great. Actually, I was just having one on the front porch, and I put 2/3 of it out. I mean...its just not worth it, it doesn't do a whole lot. Oh, yeah...the drug I'm on to lift my mood (Wellbutrin) used to be sold as a quit smoking pill (Zyban) way back when. this according to my shrink. Thing is...I wasn't taking it 2x per day, because I'm bad with 2x per day dosing. I have been lately and...I don't get the urge near as much. Oh, and I'm less depressed. Always a good thing.

My people worked hard to be where they are, and I enjoy seeing them enjoy the fruits of their labor. I mean, lots of people work hard and...well, its America: hard work isn't a guarantee these days. But...my people worked hard from undergraduate on, I spent too much $$$ as a teenager, on and on, drama drama drama...now they're "comfortable" and they don't fret as much, plus I get disability. disability --clearly-- isn't a huge payout, but its more than enough for me, for right now, especially since it covers the mental health clinic completely and I get very, very low cost prescriptions. God is good!

Meanwhile...I thought I heard the neighbors as soon as 5 minutes after we got home. Probably didn't. They --are-- rough on me, but...I also hear voices, largely because of past experiences, chronic stress, low status, stigma, isolation, etc. etc. etc. Happens.

On the plus side...--physically--, I seem good to go. Gotta work out and watch my food intake, just like 60% of America. But seriously...God is good! I think its much, much easier to recover when you're doing well physically and have my living situation than when you're living in oppression and stress and docs respond to your problems by piling more and more meds on you. Seriously...a counselor told me that she's had clients at the clinic on double digit meds, when you put the psych drugs+health drugs together. that's crazy.

Rambling...thanks, as always, for the replies and prayers and...kindness.

 

[jasonc]

It's strange to me to hear of people never being in the ocean.

 

[Angel]

Im happy that you are recognizing hallucinations from reality. That means you are 1.aware and 2. smart 3. growing in your recovery

RECOVERY
RE- get back
COVER- protection

 

[Christ_empowered]

Hey, angel. Yeah, recovery is...a huge blessing. I do realize that people around here have serious problems with me (some of them...), but I'm also glad to realize now that people aren't --always-- talking about me and that I've been dealing with psychosis (even on high dose abilify...scary...) for a while now, and things are just now moving full steam ahead, thanks to Christ.

Being severely mentally ill is no fun. And the world doesn't understand, even a lot of Christians. I'm blessed to have my parents, school, cfnet, disabillity, and...oh yeah, Jesus. Last but not least...

Thanks again.

 

[Angel]

Amen! I have a really good support system too!