[_ Old Earth _] P-p-p-ppick Up A Penguin!

[Asyncritus]

THE AMAZING PENGUINS​

You’re a bird, living somewhere near the Antarctic.

Here’s a conversation between you and Charles Barbarian Darwin, who is armed with his magic wand called ‘mutation and natural selection’.

Charles: OK pal, you’re emigrating – and you’re going to be amazingly happy and content where I’m sending you.

You: Yeah, yeah, sure. But um, what’s the place gonna be like?

Him: Idyllic. The land is nice and white, and it’s surrounded by the beautiful blue green sea. Like a white beach.

You: Sounds good. How hot's the beach?

Him: Errmmmm, uhhhh..The temperature is between minus 20 and minus 60 most of the time, and it drops nearly to minus 85 or minus 100 every now and then, just for a change and to keep you on your toes.

You: Forget it. Right now!

Him: Hang on. You won’t even feel the cold – I’m gonna give you the best insulating coat ever.

You: How are you gonna do that? These feathers I’ve got now make me feel the cold at night!

Him: Ha! Don’t forget my magic wand. A few good waves, and everything is gonna come out all right! Don’t worry, man don’t worry!


You: Oh yeah? What am I gonna eat – nothing edible grows at those temperatures.


Him: Well you gotta be enterprising and go fishing.

You: Fishing? Where? And I can’t swim.

Him: In the sea, man, in the sea. It’s warmer in there than on the land – it’s only zero mostly. And there’s LOTS of fish.

You: Look, I got feathers. If they get wet, I’m sunk. Can’t fly any more. And how far do I have to go to catch these damned fish you’re talking about?


Him: Well, um, only about 250 miles out to sea. Don’t worry – that’s the max. You won’t freeze – that coat I’m going to give you can stand minus 85 or minus 100. My wand will do all that for you.

The fairy penguin may swim up to 100 km in a day in order to catch the 240 grams of fish they require to maintain body weight. They may stay out to sea for some weeks at a time, depending upon the availability of food sources. Penguins have been identified as far as 1000km from their home basehttp:

//www.gowest.com.au/gowest-faqs/2-uncategorised/27-little-fairy-penguins-phillip-island
You: I tell you man. If the feathers get wet I’m done. Both frozen solid, and can’t fly.

Him: You’ll have completely waterproof feathers. They won’t even get damp. Don’t worry, man, don’t worry. Just trust me!

You: I AM WORRIED! How am I gonna keep all that cold water off my feathers?

(to be continued)

 

[Asyncritus]

You: And what colours are the feathers gonna be? Nice and white like the beach so the enemies can’t see me?


Him: Don’t be such a wimp. You’re gonna be black and white. No enemy’s gonna be able to miss you.


You: A-aa-aaa-aaa-r-r-r-r--ggggg--hhhh!

Him again: Oh, I forgot to tell you. I’m taking away your wings, so You won’t have any real wings – you won’t be able to fly as you do now. They’ll be so small, they can only flap a little, and let you glide a bit. But you’ll save a lot of energy not being able to fly. How’s that?

You: So I can’t fly, I can’t fight, I can’t hide, I can’t run – that’s a perfect recipe for extinction, man, extinction is what we’re talking about here. 'Tis just plain stupidity, stupidity I tell you! How’re you gonna do all this?

 

[Asyncritus]

Charlie: Don’t forget. Look, I got this magic wand I’m always waving. It’s called ‘MANS’.

You: What’s that stand for?

Charlie: You know, Mutation And Natural Selection. Does everything I can imagine. Just a wave or two, and that’s it. Done. You’ll like it.

Don't forget your uncle Fred in the chicken suit! If he can learn to fly with some feathers stuck up his behind, you're gonna do much better. You're so much cleverer!

He had cold blood, didn't he. What's your's like?

[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]

 

[Asyncritus]

You: Hmm. Look I got a nice nest I built here. I can hatch out my wife’s eggs. We take it in turns sitting on them, you know, to keep ‘em warm. What sort of nest can I build there? And with what?


Him: You won’t have to build any stupid nest. None at all!


You: You gotta be kidding, man. Minus 40 degrees and no nest? Our eggs are gonna freeze solid. They definitely won’t hatch out. We’re gonna go extinct, man, extinct, extinct!


Him: Don’t panic, don’t panic! You’re going to carry the egg (BTW, you can only have one at a time!) stuck to the bottom of your belly. Resting on your feet – away from the ice.


You (screaming): Resting ON MY FEET AT THE BOTTOM OF MY BELLY? What the dickens are you talking about? Look at my feet now – they’re nowhere NEAR the bottom of my belly. I’m gonna have to stand upright on my two feet for my belly to be anywhere NEAR the ground.

 

[Asyncritus]

Him: Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you. You’re going to be standing upright on your two feet. And you’ll never be able to walk again like you do now.


You: So where are my hips gonna be?


Him: Right down at the bottom of your skeleton.


[FONT=&quot]You: Oh yeah. How are they gonna get there[/FONT]

 

[Asyncritus]

Him: Just trust me. A couple of good mutations and a dash of natural selection will soon fix that little problem. No problem. I’ll just wave my magic wand, shout ‘Darwin rules OK’ and it’ll happen – all by itself.


You: Wel-l-l, if you’re sure… but how are those eggs gonna stay warm? If the bottom of my belly has its feathers, my heat can’t get to the egg to incubate it. It’s gonna die! Die I tell you! A-a-a-a-rrrr---ggghhhhh. I don’t want my baby to die before he gets born.


Him: Don’t panic, I tell you. I’ll just wave the old wand, shout ‘Darwin Roles OK! Natural Selection and mutation – come to the aid of thy servant’ – and it’ll happen.


You: Oh yeah? What’ll happen?


Him: Well, there’s gonna be a nice patch under your belly where there’s gonna be no feathers! The egg will be in contact with that, and it will be warm. How’s that?


You: You gotta be kidding, man. My belly is gonna freeze solid. Minus 40 deg C? Please tell me you’re joking!

 

[Asyncritus]

You: And another thought occurs to me. These eggs take 30-35 days to hatch. What am I gonna eat, Charlie? I’m gonna starve to death in that cold.


Him: I tell you, don’t panic. I’ll make the wife come back with fish for you. You can do the same for her.


You: How’s she gonna figure that one out?


Him: Don’t worry. She won’t know how to do it at first, and you’ll starve to death. But never mind, after a few generations, with a few mutations and a good bit of natural selection from all the corpses lying about, she’ll figure that one out easily.

 

[Asyncritus]

Narrator: And so the sad story goes on. Mutation and Natural Selection win the day against all odds, logic, and good sense.​

Penguins come from somewhere: but where?

​

2.
Scientists believe that penguins evolved from flying birds at least 65 million years ago during the Cretaceous Period. (Williams, 1995; Harrison et al 2004) As the ancestors of penguins became adapted to an oceanic environment, structural changes for diving and swimming led to the loss of flying adaptations.

http://www.seaworld.org/animal-info/info-books/penguin/scientific-classification.htm

The account I have put up above illustrates the nonsense that these evolutionists have to swallow. Pity, that, because in general, they seem to be intelligent people – but not when it comes to their sacred cow, evolution.

M-o-o-o-o-o!
​

 

[Asyncritus]

Charlie: Don’t forget. Look, I got this magic wand I’m always waving. It’s called ‘MANS’.

You: What’s that stand for?

Charlie: You know, Mutation And Natural Selection. Does everything I can imagine. Just a wave or two, and that’s it. Done. You’ll like it.

You: Hmm. Look I got a nice nest I built here. I can hatch out my wife’s eggs. We take it in turns sitting on them, you know, to keep ‘em warm. What sort of nest can I build there? And with what?

Him: You won’t have to build any stupid nest. None at all!

You: You gotta be kidding, man. Minus 40 degrees and no nest? Our eggs are gonna freeze solid. They definitely won’t hatch out. We’re gonna go extinct, man, extinct, extinct!

Him: Don’t panic, don’t panic! You’re going to carry the egg (BTW, you can only have one at a time!) stuck to the bottom of your belly. Resting on your feet – away from the ice.

You (screaming): Resting ON MY FEET AT THE BOTTOM OF MY BELLY? What the dickens are you talking about? Look at my feet now – they’re nowhere NEAR the bottom of my belly. I’m gonna have to stand upright on my two feet for my belly to be anywhere NEAR the ground.

Him: Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you. You’re going to be standing upright on your two feet. And you’ll never be able to walk again like you do now.

 

[Asyncritus]

You: So where are my hips gonna be?


Him: Right down at the bottom of your skeleton.


You: Oh yeah. How are they gonna get there?

 

[Asyncritus]

Him: Just trust me. A couple of good mutations and a dash of natural selection will soon fix that little problem. No problem. I’ll just wave my magic wand, shout ‘Darwin rules OK’ and it’ll happen – all by itself.


You: Wel-l-l, if you’re sure… but how are those eggs gonna stay warm? If the bottom of my belly has its feathers, my heat can’t get to the egg to incubate it. It’s gonna die! Die I tell you! A-a-a-a-rrrr---ggghhhhh. I don’t want my baby to die before he gets born.


Him: Don’t panic, I tell you. I’ll just wave the old wand, shout ‘Darwin Roles OK! Natural Selection and mutation – come to the aid of thy servant’ – and it’ll happen.


You: Oh yeah? What’ll happen?


Him: Well, there’s gonna be a nice patch under your belly where there’s gonna be no feathers! The egg will be in contact with that, and it will be warm. How’s that?


You: You gotta be kidding, man. My belly is gonna freeze solid. Minus 40 deg C? Please tell me you’re joking!
You: And another thought occurs to me. These eggs take 30-35 days to hatch. What am I gonna eat, Charlie? I’m gonna starve to death in that cold.

 

[Grazer]

I've only scanned through this but it smacks of a lazy caricature

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk 2

 

[Asyncritus]

Him: I tell you, don’t panic. I’ll make the wife come back with fish for you. You can do the same for her.


You: How’s she gonna figure that one out?


Him: Don’t worry. She won’t know how to do it at first, and you’ll starve to death. But never mind, after a few generations, with a few mutations and a good bit of natural selection from all the corpses lying about, she’ll figure that one out easily.

 

[Asyncritus]

Narrator: And so the sad story goes on. Mutation and Natural Selection win the day against all odds, logic, and good sense.


Penguins come from somewhere: but where?


2.
Scientists believe that penguins evolved from flying birds at least 65 million years ago during the Cretaceous Period. (Williams, 1995; Harrison et al 2004) As the ancestors of penguins became adapted to an oceanic environment, structural changes for diving and swimming led to the loss of flying adaptations.
http://www.seaworld.org/animal-info/info-books/penguin/scientific-classification.htm


The account I have put up above illustrates the nonsense that these evolutionists have to swallow. Pity, that, because in general, they seem to be intelligent people – but not when it comes to their sacred cow, evolution.


[FONT=&quot]Mooooo!
[/FONT]

 

[lordkalvan]

I've only scanned through this but it smacks of a lazy caricature

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk 2

And imaginary conversations involving strawmen and caricatures are not evidential.

 

[Barbarian]

And imaginary conversations involving strawmen and caricatures are not evidential.

Let's see what the evidence is. I should point out that Async is again simplistically assuming that there is such a thing as "the penguin", much as he assumed there was only one kind of woodpecker, only one kind of termite, etc. Makes the strawmanning easier, if you can ignore all the transitional forms.

The evidence indicates an origin of penguins with albatrosses as the most recent common ancestor. And the history of Antarctica indicates a northward movement and speciation during times of global cooling.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1560011/figure/fig4/

 

[Asyncritus]

I see albatrosses in the diagram.

Now the average wingspan of the average albatross is (8 ft 3 in to 11 ft 6 in), with a mean span of 3.1 m (10 ft 2in).

The tallest penguin is about 3 feet.

Says something about the nonsense they've got to resort to, doesn't it?

I wonder if it's significant that the loons are on that diagram someplace? Is that the origin of the word 'loony'? Seems like it from this diagram!

But I observe that none of the serious points in my lampoon is even mentioned in the reply.

Could that be because there isn't anything to say except that 'God made 'em all, and God is good'?

 

[Free]

 

[Asyncritus]

Let's see what the evidence is. I should point out that Async is again simplistically assuming that there is such a thing as "the penguin", much as he assumed there was only one kind of woodpecker, only one kind of termite, etc. Makes the strawmanning easier, if you can ignore all the transitional forms.

There are no transitional forms.

Your line of argument seems to be: let's run round the internet, find anything that looks like a transitional, and stick it into the ancestry of the animal/plant being discussed.

Failing to recognise that these 'transitional forms' are often extant today - which makes it difficult to take seriously the concept that they are in some way 'transitional' and in the ancestry of the species.

This last effort of yours illustrates this point beautifully.

Anybody can produce one of these deceptively impressive looking cladograms/ ancestral tree/ whatever.

Trouble is, many swallow them as if they're real, and not realising that they are merely the products of computerised simulations and projections: all suffering from the good old computer problem: Garbage In, Garbage Out.

When will you wake up to this fact and get real?

The evidence indicates an origin of penguins with albatrosses as the most recent common ancestor. And the history of Antarctica indicates a northward movement and speciation during times of global cooling.

What evidence? Where are the transitional fossils? Why haven't you produced some of these, and not the foolish suggestion that albatrosses are somewhere in the ancestry/background?

What is your response to the serious points raised in the articles? Like: where have the wings gone, and why?

Filght is an extremely useful ability, and albatrosses are incredibly good at it. Why did the albatrossess lose it to become penguins?

How did the bald patch at the bird's lower end arise? And why didn't the intermediates die out because of frozen bellies and eggs?

How did the hips move from approximately the centre of the bodies to the lower end, and how did the bird come to walk upright? Lots of practice? And why should they practice anyway?

And where did their ability to recognise their babies' voices, and their mates' voice in the middle of a vast throng of the birds come from?

And the design that places a thick subcutaneous layer of fat over the birds bodies, enabling them to live in the killing antarctic cold? How many albatrosses died before they figured that one out?

You know, interesting questions like those that demand answers.

 

[VirginShallConceive]

Let's see what the evidence is. I should point out that Async is again simplistically assuming that there is such a thing as "the penguin", much as he assumed there was only one kind of woodpecker, only one kind of termite, etc. Makes the strawmanning easier, if you can ignore all the transitional forms.

The evidence indicates an origin of penguins with albatrosses as the most recent common ancestor. And the history of Antarctica indicates a northward movement and speciation during times of global cooling.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1560011/figure/fig4/

Barbarian,

I wonder if Asyncritus was making a jab at you by giving Charles Darwin his middle name.

You’re a bird, living somewhere near the Antarctic.

Here’s a conversation between you and Charles Barbarian Darwin, who is armed with his magic wand called ‘mutation and natural selection’.

Probably just coincidence. Funny, though.