Parents of Teenagers

[Mike]

To parents of teenagers, if your kids have phones, do you check your kid's text messages? We do, and my son knows it. I wish there was a way to go on line and check, even ones he's deleted. We have Sprint and were told it isn't possible. I don't think he does, because as I scroll through them, they are all continuous.

He has friended us on Facebook, so we see all the banter between he and his friends.

I just ask now, because he texted his girlfriend that he loves her. It sent a ping of a feeling that I should let him share words like that without me knowing, and him knowing that I know. They go to the same private Christian school. We pick him up and drop him off, so there's no crazy stuff that can happen after school. And he's only 14 with his first girlfriend. That means he's too afraid to talk live on the phone.

You probably didn't need all that info, but it was to say he isn't into, and doesn't have the opportunity to do, anything extreme.

All this to say, do you read your kids texting?

 

[stovebolts]

Hi Mike,

We only have one teenage daughter, and she just turned 18 and we have never read her text mail.

We did, however, raise our children (our oldest is 23) with the understanding that they could not officially date until they were 16. That wasn't to say that they couldn't go out with "Guy" or "Gal" friends to a movie etc, but they had to go in groups when they did go.

Now, I'm sure that our son, and our daughter 'dated' before they were 16, but they knew where we stood on the matter and to tell you the truth, I think that it's served them well. Our son didn't date a lot of girls and he's happily married and now has a son. Our Daughter was the same and is now dating this really great guy. (though she was certainly a handuful through her earlier teen years :gah )

My 11 year old son is different, because earlier this year he had a 'girlfriend' (Who knew we had to discuss this when he was 10 :gah ) and he used my wife's phone to text her and yes, we read the "I love you". However, we need to keep this in perspective in relation to his age and maturity. It's actually kinda cute lol. But anyway, it's afforded us the opportunity to start talking to him about dating, and about how we respect a woman and it's even lead into what he might start to 'feel' in the next few years when he looks at girls as we reinforce that God looks at our inward appearance, and when we look at girls, we need to look at their inward appearance and not be lured based primarily on a girls outward appearance.

Good luck.

Jeff

 

[Mike]

I would never question another parent's perspective. I'm only talking about myself when I say I think it's my due diligence to pry where ever I can to protect them. There are some sick people out there, beside the trouble he could put himself into. He's been pretty sheltered because we are very diligent parents and we drop off/pick up from school. He has a laptop he uses only in public areas that is highly restricted in its parental controls. We monitor the laptop and his cell.

He goes to a private Christian school, and his friends from school all live a distance away. They're the ones he hangs out with. When I was in 8th grade, it was a different world. I'm 43. Back in that time, I went to public school and had a lot of time after school make the wrong decisions. I made them, and my parents never really checked into anything. My situation when I was in 8th grade was much different than his. When I was in 8th grade, I would ride my bike a few blocks away to meet up with girls or get in trouble when I could. When my son, in 8th grade, says "I love you" on a text, it's not much more than what you are describing with your youngest son.

I'm glad to hear your older kids did well. But again, personally I feel I need to be aware and involved as best I can to stay "in the know". I wish I could allow him to have those private moments to share with a girl, but I just don't think I can allow other things to trickle in.

Keep on runnin' Jeff!