Navigating the complexities of peer influence during adolescence can be a challenging experience for both teens and their parents. As teenagers seek to establish their identities and find their place in the world, they are often significantly influenced by their friends and social circles.
The impact of peer influence on adolescents cannot be underestimated. The right people crossing their path at critical times can reinforce positive values and enhance the entire process of growing up. The wrong individuals can escort them into extremely negative detours or suck the life out of them. As parents, we can guide our children in navigating these relationships and fostering a healthy environment for them to grow and flourish.
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20
Your job is to pray with utter abandon for the friends your adolescent will make over the next several years. Without being too pushy about it, make every effort to make friends with your teenager’s friends. If your home is the most teen friendly in the neighborhood, chances are the troops will gather under your roof or in your backyard and respond to your influence in the process.
Because peer influence can play such a serious role for good or ill in your teen’s life, you will need to be forthright and directive about where and with whom their time is spent — especially in the early years. If the drama club, Scouts, or athletic teams provide a consistently healthy niche, by all means encourage them. But if a new “friend” who manifests an abundance of toxic language and behavior enters your adolescent’s life, don’t hesitate to take some defensive measures. This may include insisting that they spend time together only under your roof with an adult on the premises (and no closed bedroom doors).
If your church has a strong and active youth group, do everything you can to support it and your teen’s involvement in it. But if your youth group has gone stale or has become a clique zone, find another one. The program should honor your family’s faith and values, of course, but should also accept all comers, build positive identities, and be fun as it promotes spiritual growth.
In addition to participating in youth groups, encourage your teenager to get involved in service projects and volunteer work. These activities provide opportunities for them to engage with like-minded individuals, develop a sense of purpose, and foster empathy and compassion. By serving others, they learn about the importance of giving back to the community, strengthening their moral compass and worldview.
To help your child develop a well-rounded identity, encourage them to explore their interests and engage in extracurricular activities or hobbies. Whether it’s sports, music, art, or academic clubs, these activities provide opportunities for self-discovery, growth, and the development of lifelong skills.
Whether they are National Merit Scholars or total nonconformists (or both), adolescents are fervently searching for a clear sense of identity. Whatever the guise or getup, the questions they continually ask boil down to these: Who cares about me? and What can I do that has any significance? These questions are at the heart of understanding their peer’s influence.
If the answers are “my God, my family and my close friends” and “impact the world in a positive way,” your main task — and it usually will be a pleasant one — will be serving as cheerleader and sounding board as your son or daughter finds the best track on which to run.
If the answers are “my friends (and hardly anyone else)” and “have fun (and hardly anything else),” the ultimate outcome could be more unpredictable. Most adolescents with this mind-set eventually grow up and find a productive niche, while some stay in this shallow, meandering rut well into adulthood. Some also drift into drug use or sexual activity in their search for the next diversion — and ultimately pay dearly for it.
For the teenager whose answers are “no one” and “nothing,” if different answers are nowhere on the horizon, the consequences may be more serious: depression, acting out, even suicidal behavior.
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It is important that your child enters adolescence with some clear and positive answers to the questions of caring and significance. During the coming seasons, they will probably ask them often and in many different ways — some of which may catch you way off guard. Even if your teen has lost their bearings or abandoned common sense, you will still need to communicate that your love and their significance are unshakable.
As in earlier years of childhood, you will need to enforce limits and help them make some course corrections until they are on their own. But they must always know that your fundamental love for them will never change, regardless of grades, clothes, a messy room, dented fenders, or more serious issues.
Creating an open and honest line of communication with your teenager is essential. Encourage them to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with you, and listen without judgment. By fostering a supportive environment, you can help them navigate the challenges of adolescence and guide them in making informed decisions about their relationships and peer influence.
The power of peer influence on adolescents is immense, and it’s crucial for parents to take an active role in guiding their children through these formative years.
In doing so, you create an environment where positive peer influence can flourish and where you can actively observe and guide their interactions. By fostering positive friendships, creating a welcoming home environment, supporting their involvement in youth groups and extracurricular activities, and maintaining open communication, you can help your teen develop a strong sense of identity and significance. Through your love and support, they will be better equipped to navigate the challenges of adolescence and emerge as well-rounded, confident adults.
The post Peer Influence and Identity: A Parent’s Guide appeared first on Focus on the Family.
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The impact of peer influence on adolescents cannot be underestimated. The right people crossing their path at critical times can reinforce positive values and enhance the entire process of growing up. The wrong individuals can escort them into extremely negative detours or suck the life out of them. As parents, we can guide our children in navigating these relationships and fostering a healthy environment for them to grow and flourish.
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20
Pray and Encourage Positive Friendships
Your job is to pray with utter abandon for the friends your adolescent will make over the next several years. Without being too pushy about it, make every effort to make friends with your teenager’s friends. If your home is the most teen friendly in the neighborhood, chances are the troops will gather under your roof or in your backyard and respond to your influence in the process.
Monitor Your Teen’s Time and Associations
Because peer influence can play such a serious role for good or ill in your teen’s life, you will need to be forthright and directive about where and with whom their time is spent — especially in the early years. If the drama club, Scouts, or athletic teams provide a consistently healthy niche, by all means encourage them. But if a new “friend” who manifests an abundance of toxic language and behavior enters your adolescent’s life, don’t hesitate to take some defensive measures. This may include insisting that they spend time together only under your roof with an adult on the premises (and no closed bedroom doors).
Support and Engage in Youth Group Activities
If your church has a strong and active youth group, do everything you can to support it and your teen’s involvement in it. But if your youth group has gone stale or has become a clique zone, find another one. The program should honor your family’s faith and values, of course, but should also accept all comers, build positive identities, and be fun as it promotes spiritual growth.
Engaging in Service Projects and Volunteering
In addition to participating in youth groups, encourage your teenager to get involved in service projects and volunteer work. These activities provide opportunities for them to engage with like-minded individuals, develop a sense of purpose, and foster empathy and compassion. By serving others, they learn about the importance of giving back to the community, strengthening their moral compass and worldview.
Encourage Extracurricular Activities and Hobbies
To help your child develop a well-rounded identity, encourage them to explore their interests and engage in extracurricular activities or hobbies. Whether it’s sports, music, art, or academic clubs, these activities provide opportunities for self-discovery, growth, and the development of lifelong skills.
Understanding Your Teen’s Search for Identity and Significance
Whether they are National Merit Scholars or total nonconformists (or both), adolescents are fervently searching for a clear sense of identity. Whatever the guise or getup, the questions they continually ask boil down to these: Who cares about me? and What can I do that has any significance? These questions are at the heart of understanding their peer’s influence.
If the answers are “my God, my family and my close friends” and “impact the world in a positive way,” your main task — and it usually will be a pleasant one — will be serving as cheerleader and sounding board as your son or daughter finds the best track on which to run.
If the answers are “my friends (and hardly anyone else)” and “have fun (and hardly anything else),” the ultimate outcome could be more unpredictable. Most adolescents with this mind-set eventually grow up and find a productive niche, while some stay in this shallow, meandering rut well into adulthood. Some also drift into drug use or sexual activity in their search for the next diversion — and ultimately pay dearly for it.
For the teenager whose answers are “no one” and “nothing,” if different answers are nowhere on the horizon, the consequences may be more serious: depression, acting out, even suicidal behavior.
Not sure where to begin? Start with our free download to help assess who in your child’s mind has the most influence and impact.
First NamePlease use between 1-20 characters. Please use only alphabet, apostrophe, hyphen, space and period. x
Last Name
Please use between 1-20 characters. Please use only alphabet, apostrophe, hyphen, space and period. x
Email Address
Country
Please select... United States Canada Afghanistan Aland Islands Albania Algeria Andorra Angola Anguilla Antarctica Antigua and Barbuda Argentina Armenia Aruba Australia Austria Azerbaijan Bahamas Bahrain Bangladesh Barbados Belarus Belgium Belize Benin Bermuda Bhutan Bolivia, Plurinational State of Bonaire, Sint Eustatius and Saba Bosnia and Herzegovina Botswana Bouvet Island Brazil British Indian Ocean Territory Brunei Darussalam Bulgaria Burkina Faso Burundi Cambodia Cameroon Cape Verde Cayman Islands Central African Republic Chad Chile China Christmas Island Cocos ( Keeling ) Islands Colombia Comoros Congo Congo, the Democratic Republic of the Cook Islands Costa Rica Cote d'Ivoire Croatia Cuba Curaçao Cyprus Czech Republic Denmark Djibouti Dominica Dominican Republic Ecuador Egypt El Salvador Equatorial Guinea Eritrea Estonia Ethiopia Falkland Islands (Malvinas ) Faroe Islands Fiji Finland France French Guiana French Polynesia French Southern Territories Gabon Gambia Georgia Germany Ghana Gibraltar Greece Greenland Grenada Guadeloupe Guatemala Guernsey Guinea Guinea-Bissau Guyana Haiti Heard Island and McDonald Islands Holy See (Vatican City State) Honduras Hungary Iceland India Indonesia Iran, Islamic Republic of Iraq Ireland Isle of Man Israel Italy Jamaica Japan Jersey Jordan Kazakhstan Kenya Kiribati Korea, Democratic People's Republic of Korea, Republic of Kuwait Kyrgyzstan Lao People's Democratic Republic Latvia Lebanon Lesotho Liberia Libya Liechtenstein Lithuania Luxembourg Macao Macedonia, the former Yugoslav Republic of Madagascar Malawi Malaysia Maldives Mali Malta Martinique Mauritania Mauritius Mayotte Mexico Moldova, Republic of Monaco Mongolia Montenegro Montserrat Morocco Mozambique Myanmar Namibia Nauru Nepal Netherlands New Caledonia New Zealand Nicaragua Niger Nigeria Niue Norfolk Island Norway Oman Pakistan Palestine Panama Papua New Guinea Paraguay Peru Philippines Pitcairn Poland Portugal Qatar Reunion Romania Russian Federation Rwanda Saint Barthélemy Saint Helena, Ascension and Tristan da Cunha Saint Kitts and Nevis Saint Lucia Saint Martin (French part) Saint Pierre and Miquelon Saint Vincent and the Grenadines Samoa San Marino Sao Tome and Principe Saudi Arabia Senegal Serbia Seychelles Sierra Leone Singapore Sint Maarten (Dutch part) Slovakia Slovenia Solomon Islands Somalia South Africa South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands South Sudan Spain Sri Lanka Sudan Suriname Svalbard and Jan Mayen Swaziland Sweden Switzerland Syrian Arab Republic Taiwan Tajikistan Tanzania, United Republic of Thailand Timor-Leste Togo Tokelau Tonga Trinidad and Tobago Tunisia Turkey Turkmenistan Turks and Caicos Islands Tuvalu Uganda Ukraine United Arab Emirates United Kingdom Uruguay Uzbekistan Vanuatu Venezuela, Bolivarian Republic of Vietnam Virgin Islands, British Wallis and Futuna Western Sahara Yemen Zambia Zimbabwe
Communicate Unconditional Love and Support
It is important that your child enters adolescence with some clear and positive answers to the questions of caring and significance. During the coming seasons, they will probably ask them often and in many different ways — some of which may catch you way off guard. Even if your teen has lost their bearings or abandoned common sense, you will still need to communicate that your love and their significance are unshakable.
As in earlier years of childhood, you will need to enforce limits and help them make some course corrections until they are on their own. But they must always know that your fundamental love for them will never change, regardless of grades, clothes, a messy room, dented fenders, or more serious issues.
Maintain an Open Dialogue
Creating an open and honest line of communication with your teenager is essential. Encourage them to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with you, and listen without judgment. By fostering a supportive environment, you can help them navigate the challenges of adolescence and guide them in making informed decisions about their relationships and peer influence.
The power of peer influence on adolescents is immense, and it’s crucial for parents to take an active role in guiding their children through these formative years.
Creating a Welcoming Environment
In doing so, you create an environment where positive peer influence can flourish and where you can actively observe and guide their interactions. By fostering positive friendships, creating a welcoming home environment, supporting their involvement in youth groups and extracurricular activities, and maintaining open communication, you can help your teen develop a strong sense of identity and significance. Through your love and support, they will be better equipped to navigate the challenges of adolescence and emerge as well-rounded, confident adults.
The post Peer Influence and Identity: A Parent’s Guide appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...