[__ Prayer __] Please pray for guidance

[Vivi0331]

I am unfortunately at the point where I feel my prayers are not strong enough to help me rebuild my marriage. There is no infidelity or abuse per se, but I am just married. I don't have a marriage. We behave more like roommates that husband and wife. I find myself thinking of leaving him, but as a Christian woman, I don't think that it's an option, of all I am is unhappy. So i ask fir strength and guidance to get through this. Thank you all and god bless.

 

[Davies]

Vivi0331,

I wanted to say I very much understand what you are feeling, but because I'm a husband, I may be able to give you a different perspective from my marriage. We've been married for 12 years, and have one daughter 6 years old. My wife suffers from depression, and is not in good shape physically. I used to get very angry with her because she doesn't do very much to clean up the home. Frustrations build up every week where eventually I would yell at her. I figured she doesn't listen to me when I'm patient, might as well turn up the volume. This is very unloving and I'm deeply ashamed I haven't been able to love her like I'm suppose to.

With my recent illness and the condition of being disabled to a large degree, I've had to take a step back and just allow things to be messed up, the home, our relationship without being angry. I just haven't had the energy to get mad. Because of this, I've been able to identify with my wife more, and I've had more patience, and have been kinder. I'm still far from where I should be when it comes to loving my wife.

My wife has told me she thinks about leaving me. Maybe if she was more independent, and physically more able, she might have. What's strange to me, I don't feel I love her less through all this. I know I have to show more love to my wife. My wife is not the problem. I am the problem. It doesn't matter how many problems my wife has, I should love her based on God's love for me. That's where I would try to start. If we have contentment with Jesus, our salvation, the forgiveness He has given us, then perhaps we will be able to love our spouses more. God has brought us down this road for our benefit no matter how difficult it is, but our faith is vital to the health of our marriages.

I'll pray for you Vivi0331,

- Davies

 

[Vivi0331]

I am so glad God compelled you to respond! I also have health problems that limit my ability to do all I should to maintain the home. That is frustrating because I am still young, I sam unable to do some things, but I am not disabled. Sometimes I don't think he understands that. I do my best, but he will always find a way to tell others how he does all the housework. I have sought professional help because I needed to vent. Unfortunately my doctor is not christian, but if not for anything else, she is a set of ears.

I won't give up. We went into this marriage as two adults, and we made a covenant with God, not with each other, to be together. I can break a promise to any person, not to god.

Thank you again for your prayers.


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