.
The Political Zoo
by Michael Savage
"Man is a political animal," said Aristotle. In his rollicking new book The Political Zoo, conservative talk radio giant and bestselling author Michael Savage takes him literally. In his funniest, most hard-hitting book yet, Savage brings you a riotous and blisteringly insightful series of profiles of today's most prominent politicos and pundits -- showing them as the reptiles, rats, and birds of prey that they really are.
"The American political system," says Savage, "is a zoo. It's filled with an amazing array of animals: the squawking birds of the liberal aviary; the chatter-class monkeys, disdainful of the average American citizen; the microscopic political slime molds of the capital reflecting pools and the tidal basin; the deceptively cute denizens of the progressive petting zoo, hand-fed with tax-dollars; and the big game, including elected elephants and jackasses, all too comfortable in their collegial preserve and unaware of the lethal hold of the Potomac Pox that has infected them."
Animal by animal and cage by cage, Savage introduces you to the motley menagerie of wild beasts that dominate the public square these days. Watch your step when approaching the Widemouth Copperhead, Ted Turner. Do not feed the egos of Stuffed Turkey Alec Baldwin or the tiny well-fed Irish Chicken, Bono. Hide your daughters when Wolf Boy Clinton is around; and don't let them be charmed by the bogus Emperors-New-Clothes reputations of the Big-Toothed Muskrat (Jimmy Carter) or the African Scandal Asp (Kofi Annan). From Katie "Koran" Couric to Ruth "Gator" Ginsburg and Cindy "Shame-Ham" Sheehan, this zoo is stocked with the peskiest -- and farthest Left -- political animals.
You may not agree with all the animals with which Savage has stocked his zoo, but you're sure to agree with his assessment that "today, the free-thinking men who founded and formed our great country have been replaced by the greedy zoo creatures that now run wild through our streets, across our TV screens, and down to our hallowed halls of government."
Introducing Michael Savage's mad menagerie:
Hillary, the Limber Leopard: "It's not that she doesn't have some truly important qualifications for political office. She does, for instance, know how to speak out of all four sides of her face"
John McCain: "The Turncoat Mole is a crafty creature that is quick to switch pack allegiances without any observable reason to do so"
Robert Byrd: "With an insatiable appetite for pork, which it eats directly from the barrel, the White-Hooded Rat will often gorge itself to the point of embarrassment"
John Kerry: "When domesticated, the Toothless Dolphin is capable of performing amazing tricks, most notably the Double Flip Flop, which has both amazed and flabbergasted onlookers for years"
Jimmy Carter, the Big-Toothed Muskrat: "It is prone to attack fellow rodents to demonstrate its continued potency and destroys the natural balance of power in the ecosystem by inexplicably siding with vicious foreign predators against its own species"
Jesse Jackson: "He lives deep in a racial swamp of his own creation. When he's not defending convicted murderers, drug lords, street thugs, or third-world dictators, this vulture is managing a dozen different hustles and shakedowns to engorge himself, his family, and his friends"
Nancy Pelosi: "If by now you haven't realized that the chattering charlatan, Nancy Pelosi (or 'Lugosi,' to Republicans), is not the brightest bird in the rain forest, then you're dimmer than she is"
Kofi Annan, the African Scandal Asp: "This elusive creature moves effortlessly through international scandals and personal intrigues as quickly as water sinks into the Saharan sands"
Howard Stern, the Long Island Parrot, has "an uncanny ability to mimic the most vile comments that it hears and play them back with an added layer of verbal sewage"
Harry Belafonte: "With a diet consisting primarily of nuts and fruitcake," the Large-Mouthed Faux-Jamaican Loon is a small-brained creature" whose "enormous oral orifice allows it to swallow large quantities of Venezuelan and Cuban gruel and regurgitate it at will"
Barbara Boxer: "The California Cackle Hen is indigenous to Brooklyn, New York, but regularly migrates to the Left Coast after maturation, where it can better peck itself up the food chain"
Jacques Chirac (rhymes with "Iraq"): "This unsightly, mutated Le Lézard is actually an interspecies descendent of the frog and chicken. Although both of its progenitors are vertebrates, something bad happened in the crossbreeding as this creature shows absolutely no trace of a backbone"
James Carville: "Devotedly loyal to its masters, the Junkyard Dog's primary purpose is to attack anything that even smells Republican"
.
The Political Zoo
by Michael Savage
"Man is a political animal," said Aristotle. In his rollicking new book The Political Zoo, conservative talk radio giant and bestselling author Michael Savage takes him literally. In his funniest, most hard-hitting book yet, Savage brings you a riotous and blisteringly insightful series of profiles of today's most prominent politicos and pundits -- showing them as the reptiles, rats, and birds of prey that they really are.
"The American political system," says Savage, "is a zoo. It's filled with an amazing array of animals: the squawking birds of the liberal aviary; the chatter-class monkeys, disdainful of the average American citizen; the microscopic political slime molds of the capital reflecting pools and the tidal basin; the deceptively cute denizens of the progressive petting zoo, hand-fed with tax-dollars; and the big game, including elected elephants and jackasses, all too comfortable in their collegial preserve and unaware of the lethal hold of the Potomac Pox that has infected them."
Animal by animal and cage by cage, Savage introduces you to the motley menagerie of wild beasts that dominate the public square these days. Watch your step when approaching the Widemouth Copperhead, Ted Turner. Do not feed the egos of Stuffed Turkey Alec Baldwin or the tiny well-fed Irish Chicken, Bono. Hide your daughters when Wolf Boy Clinton is around; and don't let them be charmed by the bogus Emperors-New-Clothes reputations of the Big-Toothed Muskrat (Jimmy Carter) or the African Scandal Asp (Kofi Annan). From Katie "Koran" Couric to Ruth "Gator" Ginsburg and Cindy "Shame-Ham" Sheehan, this zoo is stocked with the peskiest -- and farthest Left -- political animals.
You may not agree with all the animals with which Savage has stocked his zoo, but you're sure to agree with his assessment that "today, the free-thinking men who founded and formed our great country have been replaced by the greedy zoo creatures that now run wild through our streets, across our TV screens, and down to our hallowed halls of government."
Introducing Michael Savage's mad menagerie:
Hillary, the Limber Leopard: "It's not that she doesn't have some truly important qualifications for political office. She does, for instance, know how to speak out of all four sides of her face"
John McCain: "The Turncoat Mole is a crafty creature that is quick to switch pack allegiances without any observable reason to do so"
Robert Byrd: "With an insatiable appetite for pork, which it eats directly from the barrel, the White-Hooded Rat will often gorge itself to the point of embarrassment"
John Kerry: "When domesticated, the Toothless Dolphin is capable of performing amazing tricks, most notably the Double Flip Flop, which has both amazed and flabbergasted onlookers for years"
Jimmy Carter, the Big-Toothed Muskrat: "It is prone to attack fellow rodents to demonstrate its continued potency and destroys the natural balance of power in the ecosystem by inexplicably siding with vicious foreign predators against its own species"
Jesse Jackson: "He lives deep in a racial swamp of his own creation. When he's not defending convicted murderers, drug lords, street thugs, or third-world dictators, this vulture is managing a dozen different hustles and shakedowns to engorge himself, his family, and his friends"
Nancy Pelosi: "If by now you haven't realized that the chattering charlatan, Nancy Pelosi (or 'Lugosi,' to Republicans), is not the brightest bird in the rain forest, then you're dimmer than she is"
Kofi Annan, the African Scandal Asp: "This elusive creature moves effortlessly through international scandals and personal intrigues as quickly as water sinks into the Saharan sands"
Howard Stern, the Long Island Parrot, has "an uncanny ability to mimic the most vile comments that it hears and play them back with an added layer of verbal sewage"
Harry Belafonte: "With a diet consisting primarily of nuts and fruitcake," the Large-Mouthed Faux-Jamaican Loon is a small-brained creature" whose "enormous oral orifice allows it to swallow large quantities of Venezuelan and Cuban gruel and regurgitate it at will"
Barbara Boxer: "The California Cackle Hen is indigenous to Brooklyn, New York, but regularly migrates to the Left Coast after maturation, where it can better peck itself up the food chain"
Jacques Chirac (rhymes with "Iraq"): "This unsightly, mutated Le Lézard is actually an interspecies descendent of the frog and chicken. Although both of its progenitors are vertebrates, something bad happened in the crossbreeding as this creature shows absolutely no trace of a backbone"
James Carville: "Devotedly loyal to its masters, the Junkyard Dog's primary purpose is to attack anything that even smells Republican"
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