In This Series:
- 1. First Steps: Eating Disorders in Children
- 2. Preventing Eating Disorders in Kids
- 3. Reading the Warning Signs of Eating Disorders
Mary knew something was wrong. Over the past few months, she noticed that her teenage daughter’s appetite gradually diminished. Mary couldn’t remember the last time a conversation with her daughter didn’t end up focusing on her latest diet or how she didn’t like the way her clothes fit anymore. Beyond the dip in appetite, Mary suspected that her daughter’s self-esteem and exercise habits were continuing their decline. Mary knew she had to do something, but she had no clue where to start to prevent an eating disorder in her teenager.
Where to Start: Preventing Eating Disorders
If you suspect that your child or teenager is struggling with an eating disorder or expresses relevant symptoms, the most important thing is to prioritize love, compassion, and care. In your initial conversations, avoid confrontation. Gather as much information as you can without interrogating your child.
In some cases where issues or symptoms are more severe, the first place to start could be a doctor’s visit. Preventing eating disorders requires early intervention. Remember that each situation is unique and specific to each child or teen. Approach your child and their situation with grace and understanding. Make sure to offer help and hope before you offer criticism.
In any situation, consider appropriate cost-effective treatment plans for your children. Above all else, prioritize your child’s mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Listen to them, ask questions, and support them through every step of the process.
Guiding Principles to Help Prevent Eating Disorders in Kids
Even though each situation involving an eating disorder is different, consider implementing these guiding principles with your child. As big life changes occur, such as puberty or the teen years, focus on how your parenting approach can also change to set your child up for success. Preventing an eating disorder is no easy task, but with the proper support system, intervention strategies, and expert medical opinions, you can get your child the help they need.
Explore the following categories for these guiding principles. Mental principles include tips centered on addressing your child’s mentality or thought process. Behavioral principles address situations involving specific behaviors or tendencies surrounding eating disorders. Finally, personal principles focus on your role as a parent and strategies to adjust your perspective and approach.
Mental Principles
- Don’t shame or ridicule your child (verbally or nonverbally). Children need to know they are loved unconditionally. And since feeling helpless and out of control is common among eating-disordered individuals, stability and healthy relationships within families are extremely important.
- Be aware of the messages you send about the “chubby child” in your family. Do you communicate, through words and action, positive or negative feelings about your child’s value, talents, and lovability?
- Help to develop your teen’s critical thinking skills. Discuss the brokenness within the lives of celebrities who seem to have everything perfect. Or do some research on how magazine photos are airbrushed and how movies use “body doubles.” Young people who realize that “perfection” is not always what it seems are better able to establish realistic standards for themselves.
- Do whatever you can to encourage your teenager’s self-respect. Base your encouragement on intellectual, spiritual, athletic and social endeavors.
- Practice complimenting people for what they say, feel and do. Avoid compliments focused on physical appearance.
Behavioral Principles
- Don’t encourage or force your children to diet. It can actually push your kids toward unhealthy eating patterns that last a lifetime. The best approach is to simply provide balanced, nutritious meals.
- Help your family practice discernment. Properly discern and discuss media messages that imply a slender body means happiness and success.
- Avoid categorizing foods as “good” or “bad.” Instead of categorizing food in these terms, consider how you can model a healthy diet and eating choices.
- Use caution when exposing high-risk teens to anti-eating disorder materials. Content warning against disordered eating have often been used by anorexics and bulimics as how-to guides.
Personal Principles
- Examine your own mentality and behaviors regarding weight and appearance. Talk with your children about genetic differences in body types and the devastating effects of irrational prejudice.
- Examine what you model. Do you exhibit acceptance of yourself and take appropriate measures to deal with your body function and size? Or do you practice self-condemnation, criticism of your spouse’s body, extreme dieting, etc.?
- Examine your dreams and goals for your children and other loved ones. Are you overemphasizing physical appearance and body shape, especially for girls?
- Be involved and offer appropriate direction. Abdicating your parental role by offering your children too little direction can also be just as damaging as controlling too tightly.
- Be a good role model. Eat responsibly. Use exercise as a path to good health and enjoyment.
Final Thoughts on Preventing Eating Disorders
Remember that there is no one-size fits all solution to prevent eating disorders. However, there is hope in modifying your approach to situations involving eating disorders in your kids.
If you suspect your teen is already developing an eating disorder, seek help immediately. Early detection and treatment can be very important, so consult with a qualified medical or mental health professional right away. Implement some of these guiding principles to mold you family’s approach to better serve your child’s situation. Speak positively with encouragement, even when your children are not around. Finally, if you feel your stress levels and anxiety start to rise, consider counseling or therapy options to ease your burden.
Focus on the Family has licensed and pastoral counselors to listen and provide initial guidance and resources including an offer to pray with you.
Arrange for a free one-time consultation with a member of our Counseling Department staff by completing this form or by calling 1-855-771-HELP (4357).
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