Pros and Cons

[WolfsAlphaQueen]

I'm interested in some feedback on this...What are the pros and cons of courtship? I've dated before, but found myself falling for the same pitfalls. I was wondering what was different about courtship than dating? Are there books about how to court someone? Or the rules of courtship? I need a bit of help on this topic.

God Bless,
Rebecca

 

[LaMexicana]

I'm interested in some feedback on this...What are the pros and cons of courtship? I've dated before, but found myself falling for the same pitfalls. I was wondering what was different about courtship than dating? Are there books about how to court someone? Or the rules of courtship? I need a bit of help on this topic.

God Bless,
Rebecca

Rebecca,

Try looking at some books by Joshua Harris. My parents gave me a couple. One is called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and I cannot remember the other but I believe it has the word courtship in the title. I didn't get through either of them but what I did read seemed positive and encouraging. Hope that helps!

 

[Caroline H]

Yes, those are good books. I read bits of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", and my fiancee and I read most of the second one which is "Say Hello to Courtship". Some of the way he presents courtship appealed to us, but some of it didn't. For example, I am 27 years old and have lived on my own before, so the idea of being completely accountable to my parents was not something I was interested in. The difference between courtship and dating, though, is that dating approaches relationships with the idea of "I'll try this one and if it doesn't work out I'll try another one". But courtship's approach is more like spending time with the opposite sex in mixed company, and you don't even go on a "date" until you have established that they are probably the person you will marry. You don't begin courtship until you are ready to find a wife/husband.

 

[LaMexicana]

Yes, those are good books. I read bits of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", and my fiancee and I read most of the second one which is "Say Hello to Courtship". Some of the way he presents courtship appealed to us, but some of it didn't. For example, I am 27 years old and have lived on my own before, so the idea of being completely accountable to my parents was not something I was interested in. The difference between courtship and dating, though, is that dating approaches relationships with the idea of "I'll try this one and if it doesn't work out I'll try another one". But courtship's approach is more like spending time with the opposite sex in mixed company, and you don't even go on a "date" until you have established that they are probably the person you will marry. You don't begin courtship until you are ready to find a wife/husband.

I agree with you on that. My mom gave me these books after I had my daughter and was living on my own. I had a hard time applying his ideas to my life simply because I felt it was a little too late...

But if you are younger and are new to relationships, his books could be good guides. My idea of courtship is remaining friends until marriage. When you get the idea of dating in your head, you think of dating several people and things get rushed. Most people never really get to know the other person when they date because you have the mentality of dating and dating happens fast. When you court someone, your intention is to build a life with the person. At least those are my thoughts.

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

1. Put Jesus first in your life.
2. Put Jesus first in your relationship.
3. Keep Jesus first during courtship and marriage.