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Homeskillet
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Discuss :angel:
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Desire to be a vessel of honor unto the Lord Jesus Christ?
Join Hidden in Him and For His Glory for discussions on how
https://christianforums.net/threads/become-a-vessel-of-honor-part-2.112306/
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Homeskillet
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- #2
OK, I'll be more specific. :-D
What's your definition/standard of purity?
How can one attain/lose purity?
How can we maintain purity in relationships?
What's your definition/standard of purity?
How can one attain/lose purity?
How can we maintain purity in relationships?
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KnarfKS
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- Thread starter
- #3
Purity is the ability to look back and not feel sorry for the things we have done or thought relating to sex.
The standards vary, but there are definately lines that should never be crossed: no sex before marriage (all types), "keeping hands to yourself"
General rule, don't put yourself in compromising positions. Don't "hang out" alone late at night with your girlfriend/boyfriend. You can say all you want about the desire to stay pure, but hormones can take over and shut the brain off.
I can't stress this enough. I have had experience with this, I regret and can never take back certain things because of this.
Flee from temptation, go home, call a friend, play nintendo, call your mom, anything it takes. I would much rather look like an idiot than do something that I will regret. (calling your mom will definately keep your mind pure :-D )
All of these things are done so on your wedding night you may join in union with your spouse and feel no regret or remorse for the things you have done in the past. :D :wink: Save yourself for your bride/groom.
I'm speaking as though we are only talking about relationships. There are definately other ways to affect one's purity, but I figured this was what the question was specifically aiming at.
The standards vary, but there are definately lines that should never be crossed: no sex before marriage (all types), "keeping hands to yourself"
General rule, don't put yourself in compromising positions. Don't "hang out" alone late at night with your girlfriend/boyfriend. You can say all you want about the desire to stay pure, but hormones can take over and shut the brain off.
I can't stress this enough. I have had experience with this, I regret and can never take back certain things because of this.Flee from temptation, go home, call a friend, play nintendo, call your mom, anything it takes. I would much rather look like an idiot than do something that I will regret. (calling your mom will definately keep your mind pure :-D )
All of these things are done so on your wedding night you may join in union with your spouse and feel no regret or remorse for the things you have done in the past. :D :wink: Save yourself for your bride/groom.
I'm speaking as though we are only talking about relationships. There are definately other ways to affect one's purity, but I figured this was what the question was specifically aiming at.
Blazin Bones
Member
- Oct 6, 2004
- 10,717
- 84
Purity is abstaining from sexual relations. Some might not agree with me, but I(wasn't always like this) now will not kiss a girl until I have placed the first of two rings on her finger.
The Last relationship I was in, the girl I was dating was very open about kissing and we were kissing on the first date. I know how close we got, and I'll say that just kissing brought more than it should have. The next woman I want to kiss is my wife.
The Last relationship I was in, the girl I was dating was very open about kissing and we were kissing on the first date. I know how close we got, and I'll say that just kissing brought more than it should have. The next woman I want to kiss is my wife.
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stray bullet
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- #5
Homeskillet said:
Well, lack of purity would be doing anything with the intention of getting sexual satisfaction from it. You can kiss someone without doing it for purely sexual reasons.
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KnarfKS
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- #6
I wouldn't agree with this in the case of being married. :D
But when single the only case I know that is probably appropriate is finding someone that is physically attractive to you in addition the the other necessary traits for a spouse. But I guess this is more of a planning thing than actual sexual satisfaction.
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LLC3GUYS
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- #7
stops me cold, everytime.
I used to have all the problems of lust that anyone is plagued with, at a minimum. Then a few years ago, and many later in my life, He began teaching me about the "reality" of Him that He wants us to live in. He taught me to look into His eyes and ask Him, "If I do this, will you be proud of me?", or, if I've already done or said something, "Did that make you proud of me?". I am assured that there is one who is His perfect will for me. I know the devestation of not waiting, - No More. Now, should my eyes begin to betray my faithfulness, I remind myself of the truth that "She's not mine". He is very real. A stupid statement, if it wasn't for our apathy toward His heart. When you look into His eyes, how do you see your reflection?
I used to have all the problems of lust that anyone is plagued with, at a minimum. Then a few years ago, and many later in my life, He began teaching me about the "reality" of Him that He wants us to live in. He taught me to look into His eyes and ask Him, "If I do this, will you be proud of me?", or, if I've already done or said something, "Did that make you proud of me?". I am assured that there is one who is His perfect will for me. I know the devestation of not waiting, - No More. Now, should my eyes begin to betray my faithfulness, I remind myself of the truth that "She's not mine". He is very real. A stupid statement, if it wasn't for our apathy toward His heart. When you look into His eyes, how do you see your reflection?
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BEI491962
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- #8
Brutus/HisCatalyst said:
I don't see what's wrong with kissing. It's no worse than holding hands and/or hugging (In my humble opinion). I remember that my uncle restrained from kissing whilst he was engaged to his current wife. I honestly don't understand the reasoning behind that but, as the saying goes, "Different stroke for different folks".
lovely
Member
- Apr 20, 2005
- 3,012
- 0
Homeskillet wrote:
1. a. My definition of purity is something/someone free from that which pollutes, defiles, weakens the integrity, distorts, lessens the value, causes imperfections, clashes with harmony, prevents synergy, etc
b. My standard...To strive to be pure of mind first, guard my heart, give my will over to God, sacrifice my desire, loneliness, lust, etc., there are many others. The most important, I think, is to seek to aid someone else that I may think of as a potential mate in doing- them also. Guarding another person's heart by exercising my own self-control. If I can not do this, maybe I am not ready for a relationship.
2. a. We attain purity through the blood of Christ only...through His sanctifying process (being tried in the fire)...through being refined, made pure, strengthened, able to be poured into the mold that will make us functional and an ornament of His grace.
b. We loose our purity by not fearing God, not remembering His law, and not loving His law. We do not love God with everything in us, and we fail to love others as we love ourselves. It we love another we will not defile them or be a stumbling block to them. We will love them purely with purity.
3. a. (Spiritually...see 2. b. above) Do those things instead of not doing them. Seek to glorify God in all things...even if is seems like it is minute, or that God doesn't speak to it...we need to ask what He would do...(see LLC3GUYS post above.)
b. (Practically) Don't date, seek friendships without motive of romance, wait on God, serve Him fervently, fall in love with Him and allow Him to be all things to you. Accept His will, even when it shatters you heart. He will heal it, and bless you with something better. Allow God to prepare you for what comes...spend your time, if you are a woman, preparing to be someone's wife. Learning to do the things joyfully you will do everyday in making a home. If your a man...study to be the best husband and father you can be. Study the Word hungrily. Help married couples. Watch their children, accept their offers to hang out, stop feeling like a third wheel and be comfortable in your skin...confidant in the Lord, because He made you who you are. Stop feeling pathetic and desperate...stop making jokes to tear yourself down...Please God by having a good attitude, one of praise. Work hard and seek to know God better. So many more things....
1. a. My definition of purity is something/someone free from that which pollutes, defiles, weakens the integrity, distorts, lessens the value, causes imperfections, clashes with harmony, prevents synergy, etc
b. My standard...To strive to be pure of mind first, guard my heart, give my will over to God, sacrifice my desire, loneliness, lust, etc., there are many others. The most important, I think, is to seek to aid someone else that I may think of as a potential mate in doing- them also. Guarding another person's heart by exercising my own self-control. If I can not do this, maybe I am not ready for a relationship.
2. a. We attain purity through the blood of Christ only...through His sanctifying process (being tried in the fire)...through being refined, made pure, strengthened, able to be poured into the mold that will make us functional and an ornament of His grace.
b. We loose our purity by not fearing God, not remembering His law, and not loving His law. We do not love God with everything in us, and we fail to love others as we love ourselves. It we love another we will not defile them or be a stumbling block to them. We will love them purely with purity.
3. a. (Spiritually...see 2. b. above) Do those things instead of not doing them. Seek to glorify God in all things...even if is seems like it is minute, or that God doesn't speak to it...we need to ask what He would do...(see LLC3GUYS post above.)
b. (Practically) Don't date, seek friendships without motive of romance, wait on God, serve Him fervently, fall in love with Him and allow Him to be all things to you. Accept His will, even when it shatters you heart. He will heal it, and bless you with something better. Allow God to prepare you for what comes...spend your time, if you are a woman, preparing to be someone's wife. Learning to do the things joyfully you will do everyday in making a home. If your a man...study to be the best husband and father you can be. Study the Word hungrily. Help married couples. Watch their children, accept their offers to hang out, stop feeling like a third wheel and be comfortable in your skin...confidant in the Lord, because He made you who you are. Stop feeling pathetic and desperate...stop making jokes to tear yourself down...Please God by having a good attitude, one of praise. Work hard and seek to know God better. So many more things....
Blazin Bones
Member
- Oct 6, 2004
- 10,717
- 84
BEI491962 said:
I honestly don't care about who kisses and who doesn't. However, I'm sentimental for a guy, and I would very much like the next woman I kiss to be my wife.
It's just more devotion in my eyes. I wish I could tell my future wife she was the only girl I kissed or told "I love you" to, but I can't. I am a Proud virgin, but I wish that I could have those other special memories with her as well.
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Amity
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- Thread starter
- #11
I'm newly single again. I was not a Christian when I got married. I "tested the waters" so to speak, prior to getting married to my ex.
Now that I am a Christian, I will seek to do things pleasing to God, not man. My potential spouse will be likeminded about this.
A quick kiss is fine, IMHO. We are even told in scriptures "salute one another with an holy kiss" (Romans 16:16)
A passionate kiss, however, brings on lustful desires which is sinful. Anything that could cause me or a future spouse to lust after one another, we would need to avoid.
Best bet is to hang out in groups with other Christians. Alone time to get to know one another could be done, for example, out on the porch while others are in the house. I've also found that instant messengers are a good tool for getting to know someone in private without physically being "alone" with them.
After the horrid, wretched person I was, having no regard for Biblical purity and modesty prior to becoming a Christian, I now look forward, even daydream, about the undefiled, beautiful relationship my husband and I will have AFTER we say "I Do."
In Christian love,
Now that I am a Christian, I will seek to do things pleasing to God, not man. My potential spouse will be likeminded about this.
A quick kiss is fine, IMHO. We are even told in scriptures "salute one another with an holy kiss" (Romans 16:16)
A passionate kiss, however, brings on lustful desires which is sinful. Anything that could cause me or a future spouse to lust after one another, we would need to avoid.
Best bet is to hang out in groups with other Christians. Alone time to get to know one another could be done, for example, out on the porch while others are in the house. I've also found that instant messengers are a good tool for getting to know someone in private without physically being "alone" with them.
After the horrid, wretched person I was, having no regard for Biblical purity and modesty prior to becoming a Christian, I now look forward, even daydream, about the undefiled, beautiful relationship my husband and I will have AFTER we say "I Do."
In Christian love,
N
NeedHim
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- Thread starter
- #12
Brutus/HisCatalyst said:
Yes! Thank you, it's good to now that there are guys in this world who fell the same as I about this.
I want all my first to be with my husband.
I don't think there is anything necessarily wrong with kissing, but it's just something that I want to be done with my husband.
Kissing can led to other things that you may have a hard time to trying to dig yourself out of.
People fell differently about the to kiss or not to kiss. The same question was asked on another board that I am on, and the topic got rather heated.
As far as the orginal question I think everyone has covered it pretty well.
