lovely
Member
Hi dancing queen,
I thought I would start a new thread, so that I didn't hijack Relic's.
your wrote the following....
Lovely,
This is not me getting at you, just asking.
Was wondering when you are going to let your children become exposed to it all. You can't protect them for ever. I know there's a huge difference between living in the world and being of it, I'm just trying to work out how you are going to help them in learning to live in the world, warts and all. Do you worry that they when they do discover these things you shield them from they will be attracted to them as you have covered them up rather than teaching them that they don't correspond to God?
I was sheltered from a lot of the world - learning about it through teasing friends hurts, I imagine learning about it from a loving parent would not.
Again, just wonderings as you have shown me a lot about how to bring up children, and I can see it would be valuable for me to think about this.
No problem, I have been asked this before. I have asked myself this before in my early days of parenting, honestly. ( That was only about 10 years ago, btw!) I still ask myself this as I go. Let me preface this by saying that my children are sinful, and far from perfect. We have had to change things as we go, and it has not all been the same with each child. I am also a sinful parent and have to repent of much to God, and them. We have also had some challenges outside of our control that have shaped us, and brought us to our knees. I just wanted to stress that we are a family still learning, and that I am just making an effort to be obedient to God in this area.
Ultimately, I want to be Spirit led in my parenting. The goals I have in mind, are to first share the Gospel with my children, and disciple them in the hopes that they become believers, by God's grace. I leave that to Him, and just share the Word. I want it to be genuine, not forced. I also want to raise children who are honoring and obedient to their parents, so that they may learn how to honor, and be obedient to God. This is crucial to me. I believe, and teach, my children, that the family they have now is training for the family they will have later. That if they will be responsible in the little things they are learning here, and love their brothers and sisters, then God will give them bigger responsibilities later...they are in training, and our family is their training ground. It's my desire to raise responsible adults, who are able to share their gifts with their family, their church, and their community. I want to raise my sons to be leaders of their homes in every way, and I want God to provide through them spiritually, financially, and in all areas. I want to raise my daughter to be a help meet to her husband, and a keeper at home with her children, and to do this in God's strength and grace. I want them to love learning, and reading, so that they will always grow...especially the Bible. I also want all of them to have knowledge, and confidence, in having their own businesses...even my daughter within her home. I want them to be productive, and creative, in all they do, because God made work, and it's good. There are many more, but I will stop there.
I think that my children, who are still quite young, are exposed to more than the average child in many ways, to be honest. It's just not in the form of television, or video games, and images that are not really good to see, or hear...like violent, sexual, rebellious, etc. They read (Or, I read to them) honest history, current events, and other things such as the Voice of the Martyrs, and the like. I also read them biographies of believers, and inspiring people from history. We also read the Bible, and other literature that is very plain about the sin of mankind. Essentially, I am trying to expose them to Truth, and protect them from lies by helping them identify them, and not create an appetite for them.
Most of my protection is from the usual things parents protect from, but then also from vain teachings, materialism, and general worldliness. My oldest child, who is 10, is learning about such things now, and has been able to identify them in a basic way for the past several years. He will pass his teacher soon. My 7 year old is beginning to now as well. Examples would be, evolution, feminism, humanism, and other such things that contradict the Scripture. My oldest is just now starting to be able to identify them by category, or label them I should say, when before he would just say things like, "Mommy, that's not true, is it?" This is all more relational than I am making it sound here, btw. It's Just communication more than anything, and an effort to teach them to think about every area of their life, but from the stand point of Truth. I want them to learn to question the world's teachings, and filter all through Christ.
The key thing is example, and living all of this before them. We move as a family as much as possible, and walk together. We want to help develop other things in them, that the world would naturally root out. I would say we are trying to build good character. We teach the traits, and define them, and find ways to foster them in a practical manner, but we keep the focus on God alone. For example, we try to teach them to give, serve, and love all, and that they are here for God's glory alone, for worship, and to share the Gospel so that others may come to Him. They help us in anything charitable, and are willing to go without themselves in order to do these things sometimes. Like, if dad is going to help fix someone's roof, the boys will go along to help. If mom is preparing a meal for a new mom's family, my daughter will help. If we need to gift a family money, then maybe those new shoes can wait a few weeks, etc. We teach them to tithe, and gift, money they have earned because it is God's work. We are training them to put God first, then parents and siblings, then others, and then themselves. Life is service, and they must learn to have a sacrificial heart now when they are so young, and so inclined to please themselves, but still teachable and tender. One of our practical rules is that little guys always go first, and my boys are learning that women and children should be put first. So, sometimes mommy gets to go before them, because they are trying to be gentlemen. We also teach them that they have no right to claim the hearts of friends...like girlfriend, or boyfriend...this is not acceptable in our home. I ask them to give me their hearts daily. Their hearts belong to their parents, and the same is true for friends...we expect them to even help their friends remember this. It's my hope that they learn to trust God in this area early. Of course, there are a lot of things we teach, like manners, chivalry, Scripture, letter writing for encouragement, observing nature, sketching or painting, and music and so on. We are really just trying to live in a worshipful, and hospitable, manner before them, with them, and do all for the glory of God in our home. This is a process, and we started off small as new parents. One important thing in this, in my opinion, is building a good library of resources...we have lots of good books, tapes, videos, art supplies, musical instruments, etc. I started doing this before I was even pregnant.
I would say that what I try to protect them from, is the same things that God protects me from, because I ask Him to. Consider Psalms 119, how David loved God's law, and Word, and hid them in his heart so that he would not sin...this is very key. I hope when they are older, they ask Him to do this for them. The experience of the filth (and the definition is very broad) that threatens to shape their minds young, and caused them to commit adultery against God before they even have His Word hid in their hearts, is even a threat to me still. We must just walk with God. It takes God's grace to keep them from this, true faith, and the Word. I can't give them grace or faith, but I can obey God in my training by teaching them the Word, and living it before them. Training is more than just sheltering them from some things, but it also means putting good things in them...building them up, and teaching them logic, how to think based on absolute Truth, God's Truth. This will keep them steady, I believe, when they are out in the world, if they have faith. Then, their lives will pivot from God and His Truth, not on their self, and not me or my husband. I am trying to show them good, teach them good, and encourage them to do good in hopes that they will be able to identify the bad, and choose to avoid it, especially in their conscience, in their alone moments, because they have faith, and have been equipped.
Our family life was chosen to establish good things now, while they are young. My late husband decided to make radical changes, and moved us from St. Louis, to a farm. He wanted to foster responsibility, and provide opportunity to teach a good work ethic, and to establish home business opportunities so that they would learn how to provide for their families, and community. Right now they sell eggs, and bunnies, and they are planning a huge garden to sell vegetables. I hope they decide to go into business for themselves in the long run, and I am trying to build their confidence in that area, and foster a love for work. They also enjoy 4H which helps with public speaking, reaching goals, and relating to people of all ages. They also learn to relate to different age groups with our neighbors, our church, and our family, etc.
We try to eliminate, or minimize, time wasters. We do Bible study, and just enjoy reading and learning all day long together as a family. This serves to show them good ways to enjoy life, but not waste time, or become lazy in mind, or body. It also creates a pattern for spending time with God, and desiring to worship and learn with their own families in the future. We limit videos, computer, and other such potential time wasters, and use them in the best ways we can. Like educational videos, emailing grandmas and friends, and other such things. I call it worthy entertainment.
Basically, we have tried to plant good seeds for as long as they have good soil, because the bad will come. The enemy will plant bad fruit, and he really already does...we constantly battle it. We are not necessarily sheltering them from evil, but rather minimizing the experience of it, and of the culture that is at odds with God, so that we can give them proper training to maneuver through it all. We are discipling them, before the world has a chance to. In this way, when they are older, they can spot the dangers quickly, if they are willing to avoid them. If they do not decide to do that, then I will just trust God to do His will. Again, I can't force. I love God, and them, either way.
To me, prayer is the most important aspect in all of this...prayer for their salvation, their growth in Christ, for humility, wisdom, and knowledge, for their future spouses, and children, etc. I trust the Spirit to lead me in what to pray.
Only my oldest is saved at this point, and he told me just this year. I have suspected, but I was waiting on him, and still am. He hasn't asked to be Baptized yet, but he has mentioned communion. I trust that God will work this out without any pressure from me, and that Nate will have a genuine relationship with Him.
I am sorry this is so long, and possibly disorganized. I am pressed for time again this morning. The Lord bless you.
I thought I would start a new thread, so that I didn't hijack Relic's.
your wrote the following....
Lovely,
This is not me getting at you, just asking.
Was wondering when you are going to let your children become exposed to it all. You can't protect them for ever. I know there's a huge difference between living in the world and being of it, I'm just trying to work out how you are going to help them in learning to live in the world, warts and all. Do you worry that they when they do discover these things you shield them from they will be attracted to them as you have covered them up rather than teaching them that they don't correspond to God?
I was sheltered from a lot of the world - learning about it through teasing friends hurts, I imagine learning about it from a loving parent would not.
Again, just wonderings as you have shown me a lot about how to bring up children, and I can see it would be valuable for me to think about this.
No problem, I have been asked this before. I have asked myself this before in my early days of parenting, honestly. ( That was only about 10 years ago, btw!) I still ask myself this as I go. Let me preface this by saying that my children are sinful, and far from perfect. We have had to change things as we go, and it has not all been the same with each child. I am also a sinful parent and have to repent of much to God, and them. We have also had some challenges outside of our control that have shaped us, and brought us to our knees. I just wanted to stress that we are a family still learning, and that I am just making an effort to be obedient to God in this area.
Ultimately, I want to be Spirit led in my parenting. The goals I have in mind, are to first share the Gospel with my children, and disciple them in the hopes that they become believers, by God's grace. I leave that to Him, and just share the Word. I want it to be genuine, not forced. I also want to raise children who are honoring and obedient to their parents, so that they may learn how to honor, and be obedient to God. This is crucial to me. I believe, and teach, my children, that the family they have now is training for the family they will have later. That if they will be responsible in the little things they are learning here, and love their brothers and sisters, then God will give them bigger responsibilities later...they are in training, and our family is their training ground. It's my desire to raise responsible adults, who are able to share their gifts with their family, their church, and their community. I want to raise my sons to be leaders of their homes in every way, and I want God to provide through them spiritually, financially, and in all areas. I want to raise my daughter to be a help meet to her husband, and a keeper at home with her children, and to do this in God's strength and grace. I want them to love learning, and reading, so that they will always grow...especially the Bible. I also want all of them to have knowledge, and confidence, in having their own businesses...even my daughter within her home. I want them to be productive, and creative, in all they do, because God made work, and it's good. There are many more, but I will stop there.
I think that my children, who are still quite young, are exposed to more than the average child in many ways, to be honest. It's just not in the form of television, or video games, and images that are not really good to see, or hear...like violent, sexual, rebellious, etc. They read (Or, I read to them) honest history, current events, and other things such as the Voice of the Martyrs, and the like. I also read them biographies of believers, and inspiring people from history. We also read the Bible, and other literature that is very plain about the sin of mankind. Essentially, I am trying to expose them to Truth, and protect them from lies by helping them identify them, and not create an appetite for them.
Most of my protection is from the usual things parents protect from, but then also from vain teachings, materialism, and general worldliness. My oldest child, who is 10, is learning about such things now, and has been able to identify them in a basic way for the past several years. He will pass his teacher soon. My 7 year old is beginning to now as well. Examples would be, evolution, feminism, humanism, and other such things that contradict the Scripture. My oldest is just now starting to be able to identify them by category, or label them I should say, when before he would just say things like, "Mommy, that's not true, is it?" This is all more relational than I am making it sound here, btw. It's Just communication more than anything, and an effort to teach them to think about every area of their life, but from the stand point of Truth. I want them to learn to question the world's teachings, and filter all through Christ.
The key thing is example, and living all of this before them. We move as a family as much as possible, and walk together. We want to help develop other things in them, that the world would naturally root out. I would say we are trying to build good character. We teach the traits, and define them, and find ways to foster them in a practical manner, but we keep the focus on God alone. For example, we try to teach them to give, serve, and love all, and that they are here for God's glory alone, for worship, and to share the Gospel so that others may come to Him. They help us in anything charitable, and are willing to go without themselves in order to do these things sometimes. Like, if dad is going to help fix someone's roof, the boys will go along to help. If mom is preparing a meal for a new mom's family, my daughter will help. If we need to gift a family money, then maybe those new shoes can wait a few weeks, etc. We teach them to tithe, and gift, money they have earned because it is God's work. We are training them to put God first, then parents and siblings, then others, and then themselves. Life is service, and they must learn to have a sacrificial heart now when they are so young, and so inclined to please themselves, but still teachable and tender. One of our practical rules is that little guys always go first, and my boys are learning that women and children should be put first. So, sometimes mommy gets to go before them, because they are trying to be gentlemen. We also teach them that they have no right to claim the hearts of friends...like girlfriend, or boyfriend...this is not acceptable in our home. I ask them to give me their hearts daily. Their hearts belong to their parents, and the same is true for friends...we expect them to even help their friends remember this. It's my hope that they learn to trust God in this area early. Of course, there are a lot of things we teach, like manners, chivalry, Scripture, letter writing for encouragement, observing nature, sketching or painting, and music and so on. We are really just trying to live in a worshipful, and hospitable, manner before them, with them, and do all for the glory of God in our home. This is a process, and we started off small as new parents. One important thing in this, in my opinion, is building a good library of resources...we have lots of good books, tapes, videos, art supplies, musical instruments, etc. I started doing this before I was even pregnant.
I would say that what I try to protect them from, is the same things that God protects me from, because I ask Him to. Consider Psalms 119, how David loved God's law, and Word, and hid them in his heart so that he would not sin...this is very key. I hope when they are older, they ask Him to do this for them. The experience of the filth (and the definition is very broad) that threatens to shape their minds young, and caused them to commit adultery against God before they even have His Word hid in their hearts, is even a threat to me still. We must just walk with God. It takes God's grace to keep them from this, true faith, and the Word. I can't give them grace or faith, but I can obey God in my training by teaching them the Word, and living it before them. Training is more than just sheltering them from some things, but it also means putting good things in them...building them up, and teaching them logic, how to think based on absolute Truth, God's Truth. This will keep them steady, I believe, when they are out in the world, if they have faith. Then, their lives will pivot from God and His Truth, not on their self, and not me or my husband. I am trying to show them good, teach them good, and encourage them to do good in hopes that they will be able to identify the bad, and choose to avoid it, especially in their conscience, in their alone moments, because they have faith, and have been equipped.
Our family life was chosen to establish good things now, while they are young. My late husband decided to make radical changes, and moved us from St. Louis, to a farm. He wanted to foster responsibility, and provide opportunity to teach a good work ethic, and to establish home business opportunities so that they would learn how to provide for their families, and community. Right now they sell eggs, and bunnies, and they are planning a huge garden to sell vegetables. I hope they decide to go into business for themselves in the long run, and I am trying to build their confidence in that area, and foster a love for work. They also enjoy 4H which helps with public speaking, reaching goals, and relating to people of all ages. They also learn to relate to different age groups with our neighbors, our church, and our family, etc.
We try to eliminate, or minimize, time wasters. We do Bible study, and just enjoy reading and learning all day long together as a family. This serves to show them good ways to enjoy life, but not waste time, or become lazy in mind, or body. It also creates a pattern for spending time with God, and desiring to worship and learn with their own families in the future. We limit videos, computer, and other such potential time wasters, and use them in the best ways we can. Like educational videos, emailing grandmas and friends, and other such things. I call it worthy entertainment.
Basically, we have tried to plant good seeds for as long as they have good soil, because the bad will come. The enemy will plant bad fruit, and he really already does...we constantly battle it. We are not necessarily sheltering them from evil, but rather minimizing the experience of it, and of the culture that is at odds with God, so that we can give them proper training to maneuver through it all. We are discipling them, before the world has a chance to. In this way, when they are older, they can spot the dangers quickly, if they are willing to avoid them. If they do not decide to do that, then I will just trust God to do His will. Again, I can't force. I love God, and them, either way.
To me, prayer is the most important aspect in all of this...prayer for their salvation, their growth in Christ, for humility, wisdom, and knowledge, for their future spouses, and children, etc. I trust the Spirit to lead me in what to pray.
Only my oldest is saved at this point, and he told me just this year. I have suspected, but I was waiting on him, and still am. He hasn't asked to be Baptized yet, but he has mentioned communion. I trust that God will work this out without any pressure from me, and that Nate will have a genuine relationship with Him.
I am sorry this is so long, and possibly disorganized. I am pressed for time again this morning. The Lord bless you.