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Right match

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Classik

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To every man, God has prepared the perfect match, a woman, never women.
Judges 14:1-4 And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines. 2 And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughtersof the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife. 3 Then his fatherand his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said untohis father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well. 4 But his father and his mother knew not that it was of the Lord , that he sought an occasion against the Philistines: for at that time the Philistines had dominion over Israel. (This account emphasises that God has already prepared the real partner for everyone - even when Samson's parents tried to repulse the union.
Also see Genesis chapters 16 & 17)
There could be the second woman only when the first woman dies - and the man feels like remarrying. Similarly, to a woman, there is the perfect match, and a man. A second husband could only arise when the first husband dies - and the wife feels like remarrying.
1Cor 7:39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.

The issue of marriage today is quite challenging (and to some it is a do or die affair). But God has already designed marriage such that a man must live with a particular woman. Any choice outsidethis design is catastrophic! In spite of this people marry whomever they desire. Every woman may want to be selfish; every man may want to be selfish - no one wants to suffer - as they tend to rely on what they see.
A woman may want to marry a guy just because he is intelligent, rich, famous, handsome etc., and a man may want to marry a woman because she is beautiful, intelligent, famous, rich etc. Even when after some come to the realization that they are taking the wrong decision they still go ahead disobeying God and satisfying their desires. It is not a question of 'After all she is a Christian'. God is all-knowing! God could ask a professor in medicine to marry a porter. God could ask a male professor to marry a woman who has never seen a pen before. God could ask the most handsome man to marry a lame and blind woman. In all, God is never wrong!
Jeremiah1:5 'Before I formed you in the belly I knew you; and before you came forth out of the womb I sanctified you, and I ordained you a prophet to the nations'.

All these people who are prey to their own stubbornness end up marrying the wrong persons and thwarting the plans of God for their lives. I have never seen a home based on such faulty foundation stand.

I once had a neighbor who had gone contrary to the will of God. They were warned never to get married to each other. They already knew they were never meant to be together - and for one reason or the other private to them they decided to get married.
They went ahead and got married, knowing full well they disobeyed God. They had children. All of them were absolute criminals. One of their sons was killed by the police during his criminal operation. His other son suffered AIDS and died. Two of the daughters illicitly had children whose fathers never showed up. I remember the number of times the children used to beat the father. It was not mere beating. It was cruel and terrible how they attacked the father!
I could still look back into those days when I was a kid and still bring back the dreadful memories how the father was beaten, thrown down, throdden underfoot, threatened with knife...I have to stop.
Today the man is gone! I remember he cursed the children. He publicly said: 'I will live to bury you!'
One of the daughters died after suffering AIDS too. Another daughter of his got married and for over ten years has not had a baby - And the husband wants to marry a another woman.

If we truly love God - we would always obey his instructions. As men (males and females), and honestly, there are certain instructions from God that (looking at them from a human perspective) are not comfortable to accept. God asked Abraham to leave his land and go to a strange land. Genesis 12: 1,4 He did.
Abraham did not disobey God but was willing to sacrifice Isaac. Genesis 22.

No wonder why 'the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength'. 1Cor1:25'
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, said the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end'. Jeremiah29:11

Now I have a question. I know that polygamy is a sin - and God forbids that. Genesis 2:24 King James Version (KJV): Therefore shall a man (a single individual) leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife (a single individual): and they shall be one flesh.
Titus 1:6: if a man is blamless, the husband of one wife...

MY QUESTION:
If a man deliberately marries a wrong woman and lives with her, what should the right woman whom God has prepared for him do? Should this woman never get married - so as not to go into awrong family? Whose fault is it: Should we blame the man who deliberately refused to marry the right woman (who probably knew God has destined they should live together) or do we blame the woman who did nothing about it? The bible is strongly against divorce.
Matthew 19:4-6 New King James Version (NKJV): 4 And He answered and said to them, Â0„3¡ãHave you not read that He who made [ a ] them at the beginning Â0„3Â0…3made them male and female,Â0„3Â0…4 [ b ] 5 and said, Â0„3Â0…3For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one fleshÂ0„3Â0…4 ? [ c ] 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.Â0„3¡À
Genesis 2:24 King James Version (KJV) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
If the man later decides to do the will of God, would we as Christians encourage the woman toget married to the right man - encouraging polygamy? Or do we encourage him to divorce the 'wrong' woman and then marry the right woman?
Views are welcome!
 
Classik,

I honestly do not believe that God has a pre-ordained "perfect" wife or husband picked out for one.

I believe rather that God gives us principles to apply in the selection of a mate and if we hold to those principles we will have a Godly marriage.

I know that when I was a lot younger, my girlfriends and I would talk about the guys we were meeting and wonder "Is this the husband God has planned for me?" or "He's 'the one' for you!"

But, I don't believe that way anymore. I don't think that God planned, way back when, that Steve would be my husband and I, his wife.

I do agree with you that we are not "free" to marry anyone whom we desire. We have those godly principles...and we need to apply them to a potential mate and if they don't meet those qualities, then yes, a marriage could be disastrous.

Some of the principles I'm speaking of are, having the same belief in God, being sexually pure (this includes repenting of past sexual indiscretion), a willingness to fulfill the Godly role of a husband or a wife...(husband leader and financial providers of the home and loves his wife, wife submissive to the husband and helping him meet all his responsibilities), a commitment to keep the marriage bed undefiled and a commitment to raise children in a Godly home.

I'm an old married woman now, but my daughter is now becoming a young woman and yep...lot's of guys are looking in her direction.

I don't think in terms of, "Is it Jim, Bob, or Bill" who is THE ONE for her."

Rather, I want to know are Jim, Bob and Bill living up to those principles I've stated. If only one does, then he's a good match. But let's say they all do...then any one of them would be a good husband for her. And, it's part of my job as her mom to not necessarily try to pick which one is "the one" for her...but rather to work with her to instill within her those same principles so that she would be a good wife to whomever she marries.

By the same token if Viola really falls for Jim because he's handsome, rich and intelligent...but he doesn't live up to any of those principles...I would exhort her to never marry him. It would be a disastrous marriage.

That's the way I see it.
 
Classik,

I honestly do not believe that God has a pre-ordained "perfect" wife or husband picked out for one.

I believe rather that God gives us principles to apply in the selection of a mate and if we hold to those principles we will have a Godly marriage.

I agree with you, Handy, to an extent. And working towards a Godly marriage is in line with the point I made that a perfect Match exists. It is God that directs. One of the wonderful qualities of God is that He does not raise eyebrows. He is not surprised about your marriage today. He already knew about your marriage before you went into it.
...Before I formed you I knew you...
Was Ishmael not the first son? By tradition Ishmael would have been the one to inherit the best of the father's. But God said to Abraham: Do not let it be displeasing in your sight because of the lad or because of your bondwoman. Whatever Sarah has said to you, listen to her voice; For in Isaac your seed shall be called. That is Genesis21:12.
It entail that God already had Sarah in mind - not the mother of Ishmael. It was just a single mistake Abraham made that caused the whole problem. God had maintained His choice.
I do not know what really happened to the mother of Ishmael later. Maybe she found her true love...
I know that when I was a lot younger, my girlfriends and I would talk about the guys we were meeting and wonder "Is this the husband God has planned for me?" or "He's 'the one' for you!"
But, I don't believe that way anymore. I don't think that God planned, way back when, that Steve would be my husband and I, his wife.
And He is neither surprised about your marriage with your partner.
I do agree with you that we are not "free" to marry anyone whom we desire. We have those godly principles...and we need to apply them to a potential mate and if they don't meet those qualities, then yes, a marriage could be disastrous.
It is the reason why you have unending divorce issues in the world. People are confused. They keep sampling partners.

mydaughter is now becoming a young woman and yep...lot's of guys are looking in her direction.

I don't think in terms of, "Is it Jim, Bob, or Bill" who is THE ONE for her."

Rather, I want to know are Jim, Bob and Bill living up to those principles I've stated. If only one does, then he's a good match. But let's say they all do...then any one of them would be a good husband for her.

And when they all do? At this point confusion comes in. I believe she would pray to God. God is not an authur of confusion, and I believe He would simply direct by His 'design' right from foundation. The problem now is when we refuse to obey him.
Samson married a typical stranger. But it was of God.
 

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