Hi everyone, I just want to share some of my experiences..
I feel very uncertain posting here, because I have not been involved in a community like this, so I don't know if things I say may seem strange or will be acceptable or offensive. I identify as Christian due to personal experiences I have had and not necessarily proper exposure. I do not attend church at the moment, and I have no Christian support in real life accept the Lord who has not forsaken me.
Let me share some of my experiences:
I grew up in a Christian sect (or cult as some describe it) so I do believe in the bible, but the sad thing is the love of Christ only found me when I distanced myself from this sect. Of coarse distancing myself from them caused me to be shunned; even if I was just trying to get closer to God. This left me with major depression and I ended up hating God.
I took the Darwin train to atheism and eventually all the reasons (I mean ALL) I used to have to believe in God disappeared. This left me feeling empty and alone, and the depression brought me down to rock bottom.
Sin controlled my life at this stage and I gave myself over to so called freedom and the lusts and desires of my flesh. It did not 'feel' right, I guess my spirit was accusing me and it made me even more depressed.
One day while I was extremely depressed and suicidal; I heard a voice. It was not audible, more like a thought or just knowing (if that makes sense), and it felt like it had great authority and power. It said: "You will not see destruction!". I cannot explain it but it felt like all the weight from my own sins and the evil spirits that were holding me down (that were at the point of destroying me) lost their hold on me. It felt like I was held in the deepest parts of a dungeon, heavily chained, and by no power of my own the chains were just smashed. I could see the light of hope shine in the darkness and just ran towards it with all the strength that was given me by that voice. My bi-polar depression inexplicably left me. I still get sad but not depressed or suicidal. I confessed my sins to the Lord and they seem under control, though temptations are ever present.
This is where I am today. I am extremely isolated and have no friends. My mother hasn't spoken to me in years and treats me like I am dead (Shunning). My romantic relationships have all failed. I only have the Lord who has somehow never given up on me even if I probably hurt him a lot along the way. Its on my second day here, and someone already suggested the hope of being friends after a private discussion about something else; They don't know how much this means to me!
I was reading Galatians 5 and am determined to walk by the Spirit. But I am not sure what that means. What do I do now to keep walking by the Spirit?
I feel very uncertain posting here, because I have not been involved in a community like this, so I don't know if things I say may seem strange or will be acceptable or offensive. I identify as Christian due to personal experiences I have had and not necessarily proper exposure. I do not attend church at the moment, and I have no Christian support in real life accept the Lord who has not forsaken me.
Let me share some of my experiences:
I grew up in a Christian sect (or cult as some describe it) so I do believe in the bible, but the sad thing is the love of Christ only found me when I distanced myself from this sect. Of coarse distancing myself from them caused me to be shunned; even if I was just trying to get closer to God. This left me with major depression and I ended up hating God.
I took the Darwin train to atheism and eventually all the reasons (I mean ALL) I used to have to believe in God disappeared. This left me feeling empty and alone, and the depression brought me down to rock bottom.
Sin controlled my life at this stage and I gave myself over to so called freedom and the lusts and desires of my flesh. It did not 'feel' right, I guess my spirit was accusing me and it made me even more depressed.
One day while I was extremely depressed and suicidal; I heard a voice. It was not audible, more like a thought or just knowing (if that makes sense), and it felt like it had great authority and power. It said: "You will not see destruction!". I cannot explain it but it felt like all the weight from my own sins and the evil spirits that were holding me down (that were at the point of destroying me) lost their hold on me. It felt like I was held in the deepest parts of a dungeon, heavily chained, and by no power of my own the chains were just smashed. I could see the light of hope shine in the darkness and just ran towards it with all the strength that was given me by that voice. My bi-polar depression inexplicably left me. I still get sad but not depressed or suicidal. I confessed my sins to the Lord and they seem under control, though temptations are ever present.
This is where I am today. I am extremely isolated and have no friends. My mother hasn't spoken to me in years and treats me like I am dead (Shunning). My romantic relationships have all failed. I only have the Lord who has somehow never given up on me even if I probably hurt him a lot along the way. Its on my second day here, and someone already suggested the hope of being friends after a private discussion about something else; They don't know how much this means to me!
I was reading Galatians 5 and am determined to walk by the Spirit. But I am not sure what that means. What do I do now to keep walking by the Spirit?
