Should an ex pastor be allowed to return to his old church?

[Admiring_Him]

I am in a church leadership position, so I know more about this subject than I ever cared to know and now I as well as my church is confused about how we should handle this. We are seeking Gods wisdom, but our human emotions are standing in the way.
We had this pastor for about 5 years, he was a very outgoing and loved person. The church done great things while he was in the pulpit. Our church grew to probably in the mid 100 range for regular attendance. Then things in his personal life started to unravel. His marriage fell apart, there was disruption among church members that he never could control. There was womanizing and allogations of drug and alchol abuse by the pastor. A lot of this was seen first hand by officiating members in the church. He dated 3 women from OUR congregation and now one of them is pregnant with his child. Our church stood by him during all this (the pregancy came after he left), we fully supported him. He was given chance after chance to rehibilitate but refused every chance. After several months and many, many accusations flung his way the officiating board along with our denomination behind us, we decided to ask for his resignation. After a very bitter contract dispute he finally agreed on a severance package and he left. The district took away his ministry license and he has been totally stripped of any authority he had in the district. He has not returned to ministry anywhere and is now working a civilian job. Our church went through a very hard time and only by the grace of God and his love is that we are still as strong as we are. There were a lot of people that criticized the staff for asking for his resignation instead of sending him to rehab when he left, so there were a lot of hurt feelings and bad things said at that time. This has been about 6 months ago. Now fast forward to this past Sunday, he showed up at church with his pregnant girlfriend just to (as he said) visit his "friends" on Sunday morning. When the usher team saw him pull into the parking lot, the new pastor was notified and the decision was made to ask him not to attend service until more time had passed and the church has had more time to heal its wounds, this is also what our district managing pastor told us how to handle this. Naturally, he was offended and he tried to gain as much attention as he could as he was escorted out the door. Hardly anyone noticed him there, but a few of his supporters heard him and saw him, now they are in an uproar because he was asked to leave. He has called several senior citizens in the church (that never really new the whole truth of why he left) and told them that he came to see them this past Sunday, but he was asked to leave and that we wouldn't let him in. One of the ladies he called and told this to is a 91 year old lady that is very sick and has a severe heart condition, this got her all torn up and she says that she as well as several other of the seniors are not coming back to the church. There is one side of the church that thinks we should welcome him back in and love him unconditionally as we as Christians are commanded to do. The other side of the church thinks that he should be in church, but not back in our church.
Its not the fact that I don't want him in church, but here is my fear.....he made the statement before he left, that someday he would sit on that board of adminstration that ousted him and that he would be back. He still has a lot supporters in our church. I am afraid that he may move in, feel he is accepted again, then his supporters will start to gravitate toward him instead of supporting our new pastor, thus hurting our new pastors ministry and creating a major church split.
Personally I think he is just trying to prove a point and show that he can still do whatever he wants to do, but that is just my opinion.
I am really distraught on this. Can any Pastors and church leaders as well as other Christians here pray for our church and give me some direction and other opinions on this.

 

[Lonelyguide]

Learning to let go is one of the great lessons of life; a lesson we are taught frequently if not incessantly; a lesson which ... in one of its most powerful forms ... is even taught to us during our last moments in this world.

Each one is responsible for his own lessons and for his own learning ... as is your former pastor, your community and each of its members.

One might say that your former pastor does not require your church as a stage for what he still needs to learn. One might, however, also say that he may still need to learn so much that perhaps conditions for him should worsen as they only will as a consequence of the outbreak of the kind of massive turmoil ... or even negativity ... one might expect if he were indeed to return ...

But ... also your community may require a learning process. Therefore, whichever the outcome, rest assured that the end result will be that all will learn precisely what they need to learn.

That, however, is a somewhat philosophical perspective.

One might also say that, for all parties concerned, we are dealing with a process of healing, and to heal ... to truly heal ... one should overlook error. This too is a learning process and this too is an option. And as you choose you will learn.

 

[guibox]

I think that the pastor here really needs to exercise common sense. When you've done that much damage, especially in a leadership position, you have to understand that there is a great degree of discomfort involved.

Why WOULD he want to come back? It can only cause disruption. Is there NO other church that he and his pregnant woman can't go? It almost seems like a slap in the face of the abuse of his position to those that he trusted. Does that mean that he can't keep in contact or remain friends with some of the church members? Absolutely not.

It is not a matter of forgiveness or lack of forgiveness, it is using tact, reason, logic and common sense to allow time to heal wounds. This was a pastor, a leader of the church, not just your average member that many might have ignored or overlooked. This was a person in contact with everyone in some fashion, a leader that many trusted with sacred information and held to a higher standard.

He must understand this and be respectful and aware of the feelings involved. Threatening that he will be a thorn in their side to come back to a church board that clearly eliminated his position for a good reason says that there is something a little wrong with his reasoning.

 

[Gary]

Should Fallen Pastors Be Restored?

by John MacArthur

Adapted from The Master’s Plan for the Church, © 1991 by John MacArthur. All rights reserved.

It has always saddened me over the years as I’ve watched church leaders bring a reproach on the church of Jesus Christ. What’s shocking to me is how frequently Christian leaders sin grossly, then step back into leadership almost as soon as the publicity dies away.

Some time ago I received a cassette tape that disturbed me greatly. It was a recording of the recommissioning service of a pastor who had made national news by confessing to an adulterous affair. After little more than a year of “counseling and rehabilitation,†this man was returning to public ministry with his church’s blessing.

That is happening everywhere. Restoration teamsâ€â€equipped with manuals to instruct the church on how to reinstate their fallen pastorâ€â€wait like tow-truck drivers on the side of the highway, anticipating the next leadership “accidentâ€Â. Our church has received inquiries wondering if we have written guidelines or a workbook to help restore fallen pastors to leadership. Many no doubt expect that a church the size of ours would have a systematic rehabilitation program for sinning leaders.

Gross sin among Christian leaders is a signal that something is seriously wrong with the church. But an even greater problem is the lowering of standards to accommodate a leader’s sin. That the church is so eager to bring these men back into leadership is a symptom of rottenness at the core.

Some have claimed that a leader’s failure makes him more effective in shepherding fallen people. That is ludicrous. Should we drag the bottom of sin’s cesspool for the most heinous sinners to lead the church? Are they better able to understand the sinner? Certainly not! Our pattern for ministry is the sinless Son of God. The church is to be like Him and her leaders are to be our models of Christlikeness.

• We must recognize that leadership in the church cannot be regarded lightly. The foremost requirement of a church leader is that he be above reproach (1 Timothy 3:2, 1 Timothy 3:10; Titus 1:7). That is a difficult prerequisite, and not everyone can meet it.

There are some sins that irreparably shatter a man’s reputation and disqualify him from a ministry of leadership forever. Even Paul, man of God that he was, said he feared such a possibility. In 1 Corinthians 9:27 he says, “I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.â€Â

When referring to his body, Paul obviously had sexual immorality in view. In 1 Corinthians 6:18 he describes it as a sin against one’s own bodyâ€â€sexual sin is in its own category. Certainly it disqualifies a man from church leadership since he permanently forfeits a blameless reputation as a one-woman man (Proverbs 6:33; 1 Timothy 3:2).

Where did we get the idea that a year’s leave of absence and some counseling can restore integrity to someone who has squandered his reputation and destroyed people’s trust? Certainly not from the Bible. Trust forfeited is not so easily regained. Once purity is sacrificed, the ability to lead by example is lost forever. As my friend Chuck Swindoll once commented when referring to this issueâ€â€it takes only one pin to burst a balloon.

What about forgiveness? Shouldn’t we be eager to restore our fallen brethren? To fellowship, yes. But not to leadership. It is not an act of love to return a disqualified man to public ministry; it is an act of disobedience.

By all means we should be forgiving. But we cannot erase the consequences of sin. I am not advocating that we “shoot our wounded.†I’m simply saying that we shouldn’t rush them back to the front lines, and we should not put them in charge of other soldiers. The church should do everything possible to minister to those who have sinned and repented. But that does not include restoring the mantle of leadership to a man who has disqualified himself and forfeited the right to lead. Doing so is unbiblical and lowers the standard God has set.

So why is the contemporary church so eager to be tolerant? I’m certain a major reason is the sin and unbelief that pervade the church. If casual Christians can lower the expectations on their leadership, they will be much more comfortable with their own sin. With lower moral standards, the church becomes more tolerant of sin and less tolerant of holiness. The “sinner-friendly†church is intolerable to Godâ€â€that is a frightening condition.

Conservative Christians have for most of the previous century focused on the battle for doctrinal purity. And that is good. But we are losing the battle for moral purity. Some of the worst defeats have occurred among our more visible leaders. The church cannot lower the standard to accommodate them. We should hold it higher so we can regain purity. If we lose here, we have utterly failed, no matter how orthodox our confession of faith. We can’t win if we compromise the biblical standard of moral purity.

What should you do in the current crisis? Pray for your church’s leaders. Keep them accountable. Encourage them. Let them know you are following their godly example. Understand that they are not perfect, but continue nonetheless to call them to the highest level of godliness and purity. The church must have leaders who are genuinely above reproach. Anything less is an abomination.

http://www.biblebb.com/files/MAC/GTYW08.htm

.

 

[Dave...]

Wow, great post Gary. I caught myself running some of the same wrong reasoning through my mind as I was beginning to read your post. Macarthur makes a very good biblical case.

Dave

 

[Gary]

Hi Dave....

I notice you also like John MacArthur. So do I. As you said, he builds a Biblical case. I have found truth many times in what John MacArthur says or writes. It is easy to check.... he uses the Bible as his measure!

In Christ
Gary

 

[Solo]

This former pastor is still living a reprobate life and has not repented from his sin. Also, his repentence, if it ever comes, does not insure that God will call him back to a place of leadership in the Church.

I suspect that this ole boy was sinning prior to his original marriage problems were overtly in the public, and I also suspect that this person's vendetta against his old Church is more important to him than his submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

I would pray with the leadership of the Church and establish God's direction. I suspect that his direction will be to visit the old pastor with two or three elders of the Church and confront him about his sin and intentions. I would then ask him to call those members who have supported him, and explain the entire truth to them. If the old pastor declines, then I would hold a special Church meeting to explain the entire truth to the membership, and explain that anyone who is not willing to accept the Church's disciplinary decision on this ex-pastor, is free to leave as well. It is their choice.

If God is willing to reinstate this ole boy, he will clean him up first.
God bless and may His truth be proclaimed.

 

[antitox]

This guy is a troublemaker. He knows that what he is doing is dividing the church. That is an abomination. Calling old women and twisting the truth to deceive them is downright evil.

If he really cared about the church, he wouldn't have come back knowing he would re-open old wounds. He only cares about himself. He knew what he was doing from the start.

 

[Lewis]

Solo, that is just the way it should be handled.

 

[Brother Ian]

Restore to fellowship after repentance .... true repentance. Acts of great sin are always followed by great acts of work for the Lord.

Observe him over time.

Tread carefully.

Leadership? I don't see it happening.

 

[His reflection]

I am facing the same problem for the last few of months. An ex-pastor who resinged from his positions from the church that he pastored and from our denomination, he was suspected to have made sexual advances on many of the woman in his church and in other churches for years now. this time some people were willing to question his conduct because there had witnesses who can forward. The thing is as he was conered by the church board he feused to admit to any of the offences and quickly resigned. now a I am noticing that he is starting to visit my church (bible study and pray meeting) and is getting alone well with my pastor. this sunday he (the expastor) open our worship in prayer. I must say I dont like it one bit, the fact that when he resigned there was a letter read to the church in my denomination stating he is no longer a member and all his position was strip from him now after a couple of mouths in hiding he resurface, without even a public appolgy and is opening our worship service. It makes me where is our standard as Gary stated in his post.
There is alot more that I can say about this situation I perfer not to, but what would you guys do in this situation?

 

[antitox]

I am facing the same problem for the last few of months. An ex-pastor who resinged from his positions from the church that he pastored and from our denomination, he was suspected to have made sexual advances on many of the woman in his church and in other churches for years now. this time some people were willing to question his conduct because there had witnesses who can forward. The thing is as he was conered by the church board he feused to admit to any of the offences and quickly resigned. now a I am noticing that he is starting to visit my church (bible study and pray meeting) and is getting alone well with my pastor. this sunday he (the expastor) open our worship in prayer. I must say I dont like it one bit, the fact that when he resigned there was a letter read to the church in my denomination stating he is no longer a member and all his position was strip from him now after a couple of mouths in hiding he resurface, without even a public appolgy and is opening our worship service. It makes me where is our standard as Gary stated in his post.
There is alot more that I can say about this situation I perfer not to, but what would you guys do in this situation?

Not looking good. Allowing him to open prayer is a sure sign he has been accepted by the current leadership in a pastoral/leadership type role.
Personally, I would have a talk with the church pastor and tell him of my concerns. If he continued to accept this ex-pastor in leadership, I would probably leave. Sexual addiction is a very hard thing to break because it is linked to the natural human functions. It would take a powerful move of the Holy Spirit to deliver a man from that, and I've only heard of very few delivered.
I know that people really want to restore others, but unless they are really delievered, then they are an ongoing threat to the church. The leadership ends up being naive because they get blinded by their desire to do a good thing when they usually end up feeding the bear and prolonging the problem; and others suffer the results. Sorry.