Single and not proud.

[Ryan Collins]

Sometimes I know that being single at this age is a blessing from God, because I can use this time to focus more on the blessings He has given me and the work that He is continually doing in my life. But, at times, I feel lonely and that it's coming to the time where I should be essentially meeting a girl that could be my wife one day. I'm 20, and I know it's young, but you take 3 years of dating, a year of engagement or so, and that is 4-5 years. So if I was to meet my wife today, I wouldn't necessarily be married until 25 years old.

What is the average age of marriage? By no means am I rushing into marriage, I'm definitely going to take it slowly, but I'm just getting worried and anxious. Anyone relate?

 

[cly]

I can most certainly relate. I know the feeling you have well. I also know that I shouldn't worry and be anxious, but it is so difficult. It doesn't help any that I'm a sappy, hopeless romantic who loves to read Jane Austen and watch silly romance movies. I have to constantly give this area of my life over to God. Every few days or so, I'm praying this prayer: "Lord, I give this to you. Help me to keep patient and wait on Your timing. In the mean time, help to grow and become the woman you would have me to be." I go on, but that's the gist of it. I find myself assured in God's perfect timing. He's keeping me pretty busy as it is, which is nice, because I'm meeting new people all the time and making new friends. I'm able to pray for folks, study the Bible more, and draw closer to God and my Christian family.

I don't know what the average age of marriage is, but that's okay. All that matters is that God has everything planned out, and although I'm anxious to meet my husband, I can be okay with spending right now being shaped by God into the person He wants and made me to be.

I don't know if this helped much, but I do understand how you feel. I'll remember to pray for you.

In Christ,

CLY

 

[Scott]

I guess your time frame could be accurate, unless you meet someone you just know right away is the one.... then things might move along a lot faster than you think. I sort of put a time constrant on when I'd like to be married (if?) but things can work out in ways you don't really expect sometimes. I'm really working on & struggling with trusting God on this myself. Its not really my trusting God, but more my thinking He is leading me in a direction that He's not. I've found in the past everything can be seemingly leading me down a road... only to find its a dead end. And that hurts... it hurt my confidence in my faith and my understanding of how well I can determine what God has for me. It really made me withdraw from people. Its hard waiting on His timing.

I've been praying a lot about it lately, really all I end up telling God is that I'm confused and really just have no clue where to go from here... as far as pursuing relationships and that kind of thing. Maybe its something I need to take the chance on... carpe diem!? I just have this fear that there are more dead end roads in my future... its mostly worrying about the unknown (even though Jesus told us we can't add a day to our lives by worrying). I'd be a whole lot easier knowing if marriage is in my future or not, otherwise I could committ to being single and except it. Otherwise I have to keep wandering around like a kid lost in the dark.

I'm hoping and longing for that day when the lights come on, and everything falls into place and becomes clear.

To be honest 3 years ago I would have said I'm content with being single, but that has gradually gotten less and less over that period to the point that I'm not content with it any more. I can also feel Satan's attacks here are a much tougher fight, I mean the thoughts creep in sometimes about settling for a woman who is not a Christian even though I know its very likely setting myself up for diseaster. But this is all part of testing and bearing our cross, right? I agree with what Crystal said, all this can be God shaping us into who He wants us to be.

 

[Featherbop]

Sometimes I know that being single at this age is a blessing from God, because I can use this time to focus more on the blessings He has given me and the work that He is continually doing in my life. But, at times, I feel lonely and that it's coming to the time where I should be essentially meeting a girl that could be my wife one day. I'm 20, and I know it's young, but you take 3 years of dating, a year of engagement or so, and that is 4-5 years. So if I was to meet my wife today, I wouldn't necessarily be married until 25 years old.

What is the average age of marriage? By no means am I rushing into marriage, I'm definitely going to take it slowly, but I'm just getting worried and anxious. Anyone relate?

If you are in the U.S. then the average age is around 30.

 

[cly]

Well, I reckon that's the statistic we were looking for, but I thought it would have been younger. Shows how much I know, I suppose.