Singleness

[dave91]

As some know, I fell away from God very badly for years. I've been trying to connect with Him for months, but it's very hard. One other thing that makes it hard is my singleness. I am supposed to seek God above everything and with all my heart. I've quit my sinful lifestyle only recently, so restoring my life with God should be my main focus. I try to put God first, but the fact that I've been single for years hurts me and I can't help missing a woman and hoping that I will meet someone. But with everything I've done, I feel selfish for thinking about that right now, and I feel like it's hindering my focus on God, which is bad. Do you think I should try to stop completely thinking about having a girlfriend ? And are there other people who felt like their singleness hindered their focus on God, ?

 

[Hidden In Him]

As some know, I fell away from God very badly for years. I've been trying to connect with Him for months, but it's very hard. One other thing that makes it hard is my singleness. I am supposed to seek God above everything and with all my heart. I've quit my sinful lifestyle only recently, so restoring my life with God should be my main focus. I try to put God first, but the fact that I've been single for years hurts me and I can't help missing a woman and hoping that I will meet someone.

Yep. God said it was not good for a man to be alone for a reason. Some can manage it, especially those locked into a full time ministry and who have little time for much else (the apostle Paul comes to mind here).

But for the typical man, loneliness bites, and while being married to the wrong woman can be detrimental to the spiritual life, not being married to a good one can be equally problematic. I'm still somewhat set back at the present time by my choices in life. I'm married, and happily so - she's a wonderful, smart woman with a delightful laugh and a great sense of humor - only she's not someone who shares my particular interests in ministry and scripture. I'd never divorce her, and a Christian man shouldn't once he has made a commitment, but I suggest you pray daily that God sends you the right woman - one who can completely fulfill both you and your calling. Most of us are not called to the single life, but all of us are called to some form of ministry, and this is where a true helpmate from God becomes exceedingly important.

But with everything I've done, I feel selfish for thinking about that right now, and I feel like it's hindering my focus on God, which is bad. Do you think I should try to stop completely thinking about having a girlfriend ?

Good luck with that, Lol.

 

[dave91]

Ok. It's just that I'm coming back from very far and I still have a lot of struggles, so thinking about having a girlfriend seems way too early for me, and I would feel selfish to ask God for a girlfriend right now with all what I've done and with all the imperfections that I still have that needs to be fixed. I'm not sure I'm good enough and maybe I should just be content with spending time with God, doing His will and letting Him work in my heart, and when I'll be ready for a woman, he'll let me know.

 

[Riven]

Ok. It's just that I'm coming back from very far and I still have a lot of struggles, so thinking about having a girlfriend seems way too early for me, and I would feel selfish to ask God for a girlfriend right now with all what I've done and with all the imperfections that I still have that needs to be fixed. I'm not sure I'm good enough and maybe I should just be content with spending time with God, doing His will and letting Him work in my heart, and when I'll be ready for a woman, he'll let me know.

It seems like you've already decided.

 

[Anaphora]

I'm human myself. I sometimes day dream about girlfriend. What would of happened if I asked this girl out in 2008. The body of christ must be focused on Jesus and getting past satan as antichrist near future. Luke chapter 9:62. And Jesus said unto him, no man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. Jesus needs body christ focused on their functions and duties. God gave different gifts and abilities to people. It could be making money and helping the poor. Or some people plant seeds for God. Another is in the choir. One can be evangelists or teachers of God's word. Ephesians chapter 3 to document. Its serving God. Second Timothy chapter 2:3. Thou therefore undure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus christ. 2:4. No man that wars entangled himself with the affairs of this life : that he may please him who hath chosen him to be soldier. A member of body of christ in my honest opinion. Shouldn't get involved with other people. Yes you have to work with people at a job. I'm talking about personal relationships. When satan comes as antichrist, a spouse who is biblically illiterate, will be breathing down your neck, thinking satan is messiah. And drag you down with them. Get the picture. God expects 100 percent committ. Understand. Thiers lost souls in the world. Jesus is depending on us to plant seeds for God, sharing Gods truth. Luke chapter 13, make sure to repent sins to God and be forgiven. Sins can be roadblock between you and God. God knows everyone heart. Be honest with God.

 

[D-D-W]

But with everything I've done, I feel selfish for thinking about that right now, and I feel like it's hindering my focus on God, which is bad. Do you think I should try to stop completely thinking about having a girlfriend ? And are there other people who felt like their singleness hindered their focus on God, ?

As has been said - God's general rule is it is not good to be alone. Yes, there are some divine exceptions to that; but God wired us to be connected to Him and to each other.

I would suggest that it is either bad teaching from your past or the devil's lies that is "hindering [your] focus on God;" moreso than your desire to be loved by someone. For almost 2 millenia the church turned singleness, and specifically virginity, into an idol. That is a very bad teaching and has led to some serious problems.

Look, I am all for chastity as a single and faithfulness in marriage; but to deny and even fight against how God made us is IMO a sin. Paul's advice to widows in 1 Cor 7 that they marry "in the Lord" seems to work equally well for finding a girlfriend. Make sure she is someone who is "in the Lord." Amos 3.3 says for 2 to walk together they should be in agreement. Agreeing on the Lordship of Jesus and His Word is most important.

So let your strong desires that way drive you to prayer and seeking God for the right woman to come into your life. As it is written: No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. Psalm 84.11

 

[Highway54]

As some know, I fell away from God very badly for years. I've been trying to connect with Him for months, but it's very hard. One other thing that makes it hard is my singleness. I am supposed to seek God above everything and with all my heart. I've quit my sinful lifestyle only recently, so restoring my life with God should be my main focus. I try to put God first, but the fact that I've been single for years hurts me and I can't help missing a woman and hoping that I will meet someone. But with everything I've done, I feel selfish for thinking about that right now, and I feel like it's hindering my focus on God, which is bad. Do you think I should try to stop completely thinking about having a girlfriend ? And are there other people who felt like their singleness hindered their focus on God, ?

God always provides our needs Dave, serve Him and He will see you will receive what you need in life. It is the serving Him that must come first sir. Like you I was impatient, but if you look back on your life, you may be able to see that your will get your needs provided if you put God first.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Ok. It's just that I'm coming back from very far and I still have a lot of struggles, so thinking about having a girlfriend seems way too early for me, and I would feel selfish to ask God for a girlfriend right now with all what I've done and with all the imperfections that I still have that needs to be fixed. I'm not sure I'm good enough and maybe I should just be content with spending time with God, doing His will and letting Him work in my heart, and when I'll be ready for a woman, he'll let me know.

Yes. If you are not prepared for it yet then I would focus more exclusively on growing spiritually. He will call you to lead in a marriage, and that requires maturity, nit only mentally and emotionally, but especially spiritually.

My advice remains the same on praying daily about it, however, or whenever marriage or women cross your mind. As I've stated on numerous occasions when this subject comes up, marry the right one and things will have a way of working out even if you're not fully prepared in some areas. Marry the wrong one and all the preparation in the world may not be enough to save it.

Best wishes,
- H

 

[Blade]

As some know, I fell away from God very badly for years. I've been trying to connect with Him for months, but it's very hard. One other thing that makes it hard is my singleness. I am supposed to seek God above everything and with all my heart. I've quit my sinful lifestyle only recently, so restoring my life with God should be my main focus. I try to put God first, but the fact that I've been single for years hurts me and I can't help missing a woman and hoping that I will meet someone. But with everything I've done, I feel selfish for thinking about that right now, and I feel like it's hindering my focus on God, which is bad. Do you think I should try to stop completely thinking about having a girlfriend ? And are there other people who felt like their singleness hindered their focus on God, ?

Blessed is the man that finds a woman Always wise to put God first. Tell Him what you want.. that desire of your heart. Then know He heard you know He is bringing it to pass never give it another thought. So the word is she is coming.. in Jesus name. Have faith. But a men to focus on Him always