- Dec 20, 2019
- 3,529
- 107
Do you remember your marriage ceremony? Perhaps the preacher read from Genesis 2:18 and verses 21-22, in which God reveals Adam’s lonely condition and the creation of a suitable helper. Every wife can be a helper, but the man in ministry, in particular, needs his wife’s help. Pastors can become weak and isolated. Some may struggle deeply with the burden of caring for the flock. The husband in ministry needs his wife to help him balance his weaknesses, provide encouragement, and be a spiritual support. This article will offer you six ways to support your husband.
Your husband may need you to listen, to pay attention. My husband has come home from lengthy elder meetings with the need to share the heavy topics they discussed. God calls us to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). In this verse, the law of Christ refers to the second-greatest commandment, “to love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). When a difficult counseling session shatters your husband, be available to listen. Of course, some things you hear require discretion and secrecy. But a unified husband and wife can ease these heavy burdens. Sometimes my husband will share in general terms, but with enough information for me to know how to pray. Be ready to put aside what you are doing and listen carefully.
Your husband may need to hear your advice, your counsel. Many pastors have nobody to give them advice. When you hear about church conflicts and misunderstandings, think of an appropriate verse that can bring resolution. You can be a peacemaker, providing insight into negotiating solutions. Women are often skilled at understanding interpersonal relationships. Also, because you are not directly involved, you might see the issue more clearly. One of my favorite descriptions of a godly wife is found in Proverbs 31. There we read that “the heart of her husband trusts in her” (v. 11). He can ask for her advice because “she opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (v. 26). You might recognize how your husband needs to change his approach to a problem. Equip yourself to advise your husband when needed.
Appeal to God together. Your husband must pray with you. When I learn about my husband’s concerns, I realize I must pray instead of fretting. I’m asking you not only to pray for your husband but to pray with your husband. My husband and I did not have a habit of praying together until we went through a difficult church situation. After meetings late into the night, my husband would come home physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained. Out of a feeling of helplessness, we began praying together. We remembered Philippians 4:5b-6: “The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Since that experience in 1989, we have prayed together each night ever since. The spiritual bond we have developed is a precious gift. If you don’t already, encourage your husband to pray with you.
You can help your husband express thanks to the Lord. Add prayers of appreciation to the Lord and your joint prayers of petition. Your husband might need prompting to look beyond problems and toward the gifts God has provided. In our marriage, one person sees the glass half full, and another focuses on deficiencies and trials. If you are the optimist, your husband needs you. You can shine a light on the good things that God has provided. Philippians 4:4 begins with a call to joy. We are to make prayers and supplications with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6). Point out God’s daily blessings. Gently remind your husband of the help the Lord has provided in the past. Call your husband’s attention to the people he has helped in the past and the good he has accomplished through God’s grace.
Your husband will appreciate your encouragement. The Bible instructs us to look for ways to “stir up one another to love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24). The next verse says we should all encourage one another. No matter how strong or self-confident the husband, he will appreciate a positive word. A widow recently told me she had been married 36 years before her husband died. After that, she realized how many unnoticed tasks her husband did because she now had to take care of everything. She said, “Caroline, tell women to speak their appreciation to their husbands.” One pastor’s wife said her role is to keep her husband humble about his sermons! While that might be prudent in some cases, she could balance that out with positive aspects of his sermon. Romans 12:10 says to “love one another…outdo one another in showing honor.” First Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to “encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” Practice pointing out admirable things about your husband.
Use physical touch to bless your husband. This aspect of ministry is unique to a wife. Other people can pay attention, advise, appeal in prayer, and affirm your husband, but only you can offer this physical intimacy to help your husband. Small touches throughout the day can bind you to one another, such as a kiss when he comes home, a back rub after a long driving trip, or a foot rub. My husband doesn’t have beautiful feet! But when I rub his feet on a Sunday afternoon after preaching, I often think of the words in Romans 10:15: “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” What a privilege to minister to the man who pours out his heart and soul to serve the body of Christ. Marriage is to be honored among all, we read in Hebrews 13:4. Let the marriage bed be undefiled. Think about ministering to your husband in this aspect of your married life.
As you help your husband with attention, advice, appealing to God together, acknowledging God’s gifts, affirmation, and affection, it supports your husband and also blesses your church.
Four Blessings of Being a Pastor’s Wife
Pastors’ Wives: Reflect the Love of the Lord onto Others
How Do You Balance Motherhood with Being a Pastor’s Wife?
The Pastor’s Wife and Expectations
The post Six “A’s” to Support Your Husband in Ministry appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...
1. Attention
Your husband may need you to listen, to pay attention. My husband has come home from lengthy elder meetings with the need to share the heavy topics they discussed. God calls us to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). In this verse, the law of Christ refers to the second-greatest commandment, “to love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). When a difficult counseling session shatters your husband, be available to listen. Of course, some things you hear require discretion and secrecy. But a unified husband and wife can ease these heavy burdens. Sometimes my husband will share in general terms, but with enough information for me to know how to pray. Be ready to put aside what you are doing and listen carefully.
2. Advice
Your husband may need to hear your advice, your counsel. Many pastors have nobody to give them advice. When you hear about church conflicts and misunderstandings, think of an appropriate verse that can bring resolution. You can be a peacemaker, providing insight into negotiating solutions. Women are often skilled at understanding interpersonal relationships. Also, because you are not directly involved, you might see the issue more clearly. One of my favorite descriptions of a godly wife is found in Proverbs 31. There we read that “the heart of her husband trusts in her” (v. 11). He can ask for her advice because “she opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (v. 26). You might recognize how your husband needs to change his approach to a problem. Equip yourself to advise your husband when needed.
3. Appeal
Appeal to God together. Your husband must pray with you. When I learn about my husband’s concerns, I realize I must pray instead of fretting. I’m asking you not only to pray for your husband but to pray with your husband. My husband and I did not have a habit of praying together until we went through a difficult church situation. After meetings late into the night, my husband would come home physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained. Out of a feeling of helplessness, we began praying together. We remembered Philippians 4:5b-6: “The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Since that experience in 1989, we have prayed together each night ever since. The spiritual bond we have developed is a precious gift. If you don’t already, encourage your husband to pray with you.
4. Acknowledgment
You can help your husband express thanks to the Lord. Add prayers of appreciation to the Lord and your joint prayers of petition. Your husband might need prompting to look beyond problems and toward the gifts God has provided. In our marriage, one person sees the glass half full, and another focuses on deficiencies and trials. If you are the optimist, your husband needs you. You can shine a light on the good things that God has provided. Philippians 4:4 begins with a call to joy. We are to make prayers and supplications with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6). Point out God’s daily blessings. Gently remind your husband of the help the Lord has provided in the past. Call your husband’s attention to the people he has helped in the past and the good he has accomplished through God’s grace.
5. Affirmation
Your husband will appreciate your encouragement. The Bible instructs us to look for ways to “stir up one another to love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24). The next verse says we should all encourage one another. No matter how strong or self-confident the husband, he will appreciate a positive word. A widow recently told me she had been married 36 years before her husband died. After that, she realized how many unnoticed tasks her husband did because she now had to take care of everything. She said, “Caroline, tell women to speak their appreciation to their husbands.” One pastor’s wife said her role is to keep her husband humble about his sermons! While that might be prudent in some cases, she could balance that out with positive aspects of his sermon. Romans 12:10 says to “love one another…outdo one another in showing honor.” First Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to “encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” Practice pointing out admirable things about your husband.
6. Affection
Use physical touch to bless your husband. This aspect of ministry is unique to a wife. Other people can pay attention, advise, appeal in prayer, and affirm your husband, but only you can offer this physical intimacy to help your husband. Small touches throughout the day can bind you to one another, such as a kiss when he comes home, a back rub after a long driving trip, or a foot rub. My husband doesn’t have beautiful feet! But when I rub his feet on a Sunday afternoon after preaching, I often think of the words in Romans 10:15: “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” What a privilege to minister to the man who pours out his heart and soul to serve the body of Christ. Marriage is to be honored among all, we read in Hebrews 13:4. Let the marriage bed be undefiled. Think about ministering to your husband in this aspect of your married life.
As you help your husband with attention, advice, appealing to God together, acknowledging God’s gifts, affirmation, and affection, it supports your husband and also blesses your church.
Related:
Four Blessings of Being a Pastor’s Wife
Pastors’ Wives: Reflect the Love of the Lord onto Others
How Do You Balance Motherhood with Being a Pastor’s Wife?
The Pastor’s Wife and Expectations
The post Six “A’s” to Support Your Husband in Ministry appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...