Christ_empowered
Member
- Oct 23, 2010
- 14,309
- 10,795
Read the story? The book? Seen the movie? Yeah, its kind of a franchise.
My IQ shot up by God's grace. Thanks to Christ, a low IQ, thinning haired weakling has become quite intelligent, healthy, and masculine. Praise God!
What I didn't expect or realize is how this would change the dynamics of my relationships with other people. Old "friends" don't want to deal with me. My parents treat me better. Even the mental health pros I have to deal with treat me better and listen to what I have to say. Until recently, I did 15 minute med checks every couple of months. Fairly standard. Now, my comfortable/upper middle class people are solidly behind me, and I have a higher IQ and I'm more normal, so...I get 30 minute sessions. At public health (they have very limited resources). Crazy.
I'm blessed, and its crazy, really. Suddenly, I understand things better, I do good work at Liberty Online, my real friendships are a lot closer, and I'm surprisingly normal, masculine, healthy, and tough. This is all thanks only to Christ. "The first shall become last, the last shall become first."
Not surprisingly, lots of people are upset. By "upset," I mean that men around here aren't real happy with me or with what Jesus is doing for me. The women are nicer, but I suspect many of them feel the same way. They kept saying that I'm a "faggot" and that I'll "never become a man," because I was a loser and victim of circumstances beyond my control who was abused everywhere I went. Also, I was made ever more wretched because of the way the world treats "weaklings." Fun times.
So...yeah...high IQ. Its crazy. The same scale that was used to justify tormenting me ("He's a 95 IQ weakling!") now sort of justifies my existence, in the eyes of mental health people. I don't know what to make of it, honestly. I'm happy to be smart, blessed to be healthy, ecstatic to be becoming more masculine, but...wow.
That's my update. Its like a Christian sci-fi, I know, but its true, and there is no real explanation. "Brain damaged losers" don't count for a whole lot, especially when they're also: poor, queer, ugly, prematurely aged, perpetually unemployed, mentally ill, former pill head. True story.
Now, I'm starting to matter. At the very least, I'm not "expendable" anymore. I can't be incarcerated and/or institutionalized. That's a good start to having a life, right? I keep praying that God will "clear a path for me" in a community--maybe not this one--to have a life and enjoy "Christian liberty."
If there's hope for me...there's hope for anyone. Seriously. Can you imagine...a 19 year old with thinning hair, scarred follicles (that's supposed to mean no regrowth, ever), crow's feet, and tardive dyskinesia? Fun.
Jesus came through for me in a big, big way. I guess southern men just don't like seeing "dirty faggots" washed and made clean, "stupid faggots" becoming smart, "junky faggots" living the right way. Too bad.
My IQ shot up by God's grace. Thanks to Christ, a low IQ, thinning haired weakling has become quite intelligent, healthy, and masculine. Praise God!
What I didn't expect or realize is how this would change the dynamics of my relationships with other people. Old "friends" don't want to deal with me. My parents treat me better. Even the mental health pros I have to deal with treat me better and listen to what I have to say. Until recently, I did 15 minute med checks every couple of months. Fairly standard. Now, my comfortable/upper middle class people are solidly behind me, and I have a higher IQ and I'm more normal, so...I get 30 minute sessions. At public health (they have very limited resources). Crazy.
I'm blessed, and its crazy, really. Suddenly, I understand things better, I do good work at Liberty Online, my real friendships are a lot closer, and I'm surprisingly normal, masculine, healthy, and tough. This is all thanks only to Christ. "The first shall become last, the last shall become first."
Not surprisingly, lots of people are upset. By "upset," I mean that men around here aren't real happy with me or with what Jesus is doing for me. The women are nicer, but I suspect many of them feel the same way. They kept saying that I'm a "faggot" and that I'll "never become a man," because I was a loser and victim of circumstances beyond my control who was abused everywhere I went. Also, I was made ever more wretched because of the way the world treats "weaklings." Fun times.
So...yeah...high IQ. Its crazy. The same scale that was used to justify tormenting me ("He's a 95 IQ weakling!") now sort of justifies my existence, in the eyes of mental health people. I don't know what to make of it, honestly. I'm happy to be smart, blessed to be healthy, ecstatic to be becoming more masculine, but...wow.
That's my update. Its like a Christian sci-fi, I know, but its true, and there is no real explanation. "Brain damaged losers" don't count for a whole lot, especially when they're also: poor, queer, ugly, prematurely aged, perpetually unemployed, mentally ill, former pill head. True story.
Now, I'm starting to matter. At the very least, I'm not "expendable" anymore. I can't be incarcerated and/or institutionalized. That's a good start to having a life, right? I keep praying that God will "clear a path for me" in a community--maybe not this one--to have a life and enjoy "Christian liberty."
If there's hope for me...there's hope for anyone. Seriously. Can you imagine...a 19 year old with thinning hair, scarred follicles (that's supposed to mean no regrowth, ever), crow's feet, and tardive dyskinesia? Fun.
Jesus came through for me in a big, big way. I guess southern men just don't like seeing "dirty faggots" washed and made clean, "stupid faggots" becoming smart, "junky faggots" living the right way. Too bad.