Struggling with new faith

[Narwhal]

Hello everyone.

I've never been officially Christian. I didn't grow up with much religion. I knew of God and prayed on occasion but never seriously commit myself to believing in him. I've always been a very spiritual person, but over the last five years I've felt very disconnected from the higher power I simply called The Universe. No matter what I tried, I felt very spiritually alone. Unheard.
About two months ago I'd had enough of feeling this way, especially since I was dealing with some minor life problems. I felt so empty and alone that I decided it was time to turn to God. So I said a prayer declaring my commitment to believe in him and have faith in him for life.

I was nervous doing this. I've heard that saying that the closer you get to God, the harder the devil works in your life. I've also heard the story of Job and was worried that this new found faith would be tested in extreme ways. This actually gave me a ton of anxiety. I told myself nothing would shake me, that I would be strong in this new commitment, but even though no major calamities have befallen me (yet, anyway) I still found myself feeling discouraged and tested.

I was expecting that empty feeling to go away. I was expecting to feel a connection. I was expecting to feel hopeful and joyous. But I don't. Maybe it's depression. But I don't feel like God is...interested in my belief. Nothing has changed. Maybe it was stupid to think anything would. But I feel like I knocked on the door and no one answered.

That closed door has tested my new belief more than anything. It's also really thrown me for a mental health loop. I had an issue with my father years ago when I was done being rebellious and wanted to get my life on track. I asked my dad for help (amd essentially for forgiveness) and he turned his back on me. I wound up getting my life on track on my own, but my relationship with my dad never recovered. This situation with God feels very similar. And I'm having the hardest time being okay with that. If God is love and all-knowing, then he would know how much that non-response would hurt me on an emotional level. How much more alone it would make me feel. And either he doesn't exist, or he just doesn't care.

I don't feel like I need to prove my new faith to him, because *I* know in my heart it's real, and he should know too. If he is God, and if he walks beside me. Just like I knew in my heart I was ready to change my life when I reached out to my dad, and did, with or without him.

So I've kind of reached this point where stubbornly I'm going to continue to believe in God. Believe he exists and is everything they say. But I don't know if I'm ever going to be close to God. I really needed him, needed something from him, and got nothing. And that's something I feel like I can't get past.

Maybe it's all part of his plan, maybe he wants me to grow on my own without him, but I don't know that I can ever forgive that closed door. Which is ridiculous, like God needs my forgiveness. How entitled and self-important am I? But deep down the feeling is still there.

This whole journey the last two months has actually been a roller coaster and I've been in tears and mentally and emotionally exhausted since it began. I just don't get it.

 

[Hidden In Him]

I was nervous doing this. I've heard that saying that the closer you get to God, the harder the devil works in your life. I've also heard the story of Job and was worried that this new found faith would be tested in extreme ways. This actually gave me a ton of anxiety. I told myself nothing would shake me, that I would be strong in this new commitment, but even though no major calamities have befallen me (yet, anyway) I still found myself feeling discouraged and tested.

Greetings, Narwhal.

For starters, this (the whole Job thing) is not something a new Christian is going to experience. Most very mature believers in Christ never experience it. Only those God knows could handle it. God will keep you under the shadow of His wings as a newborn Christian.

I was expecting that empty feeling to go away. I was expecting to feel a connection. I was expecting to feel hopeful and joyous. But I don't. Maybe it's depression. But I don't feel like God is...interested in my belief. Nothing has changed. Maybe it was stupid to think anything would. But I feel like I knocked on the door and no one answered.

This is likely because you have not dedicated yourself to spending time in His word yet. Jesus said His words are Spirit and they are Life, and this is what you breathe into yourself when you receive from God through the word. There is also such a thing as experiencing His Presence during worship, and through the operation of the gifts, but those would both depend on what kind of church you are going to.

That closed door has tested my new belief more than anything. It's also really thrown me for a mental health loop. I had an issue with my father years ago when I was done being rebellious and wanted to get my life on track. I asked my dad for help (amd essentially for forgiveness) and he turned his back on me. I wound up getting my life on track on my own, but my relationship with my dad never recovered. This situation with God feels very similar.

No, no. That is an attack. Don't let the enemy make you think God the Father is anything like your earthly one. Just pray for your father, but open yourself to being loved by God. This is again why I say study His word. It will reveal to you that He is much different than anyone you will ever know in life.

If God is love and all-knowing, then he would know how much that non-response would hurt me on an emotional level.

I don't know if I'm ever going to be close to God.

This whole journey the last two months has actually been a roller coaster and I've been in tears and mentally and emotionally exhausted since it began. I just don't get it.

There is a very simple principle you need to learn, and it is this: Dear near to God, and He will draw near to you. (James 4:8). It's what everyone here has done who belongs to Christ, and why they still belong to Him to this day.

God bless, and hope this helps you understand what is going on.

Your friend,
Hidden In Him

 

[Deidr]

Hello everyone.

I've never been officially Christian. I didn't grow up with much religion. I knew of God and prayed on occasion but never seriously commit myself to believing in him. I've always been a very spiritual person, but over the last five years I've felt very disconnected from the higher power I simply called The Universe. No matter what I tried, I felt very spiritually alone. Unheard.
About two months ago I'd had enough of feeling this way, especially since I was dealing with some minor life problems. I felt so empty and alone that I decided it was time to turn to God. So I said a prayer declaring my commitment to believe in him and have faith in him for life.

I was nervous doing this. I've heard that saying that the closer you get to God, the harder the devil works in your life. I've also heard the story of Job and was worried that this new found faith would be tested in extreme ways. This actually gave me a ton of anxiety. I told myself nothing would shake me, that I would be strong in this new commitment, but even though no major calamities have befallen me (yet, anyway) I still found myself feeling discouraged and tested.

I was expecting that empty feeling to go away. I was expecting to feel a connection. I was expecting to feel hopeful and joyous. But I don't. Maybe it's depression. But I don't feel like God is...interested in my belief. Nothing has changed. Maybe it was stupid to think anything would. But I feel like I knocked on the door and no one answered.

That closed door has tested my new belief more than anything. It's also really thrown me for a mental health loop. I had an issue with my father years ago when I was done being rebellious and wanted to get my life on track. I asked my dad for help (amd essentially for forgiveness) and he turned his back on me. I wound up getting my life on track on my own, but my relationship with my dad never recovered. This situation with God feels very similar. And I'm having the hardest time being okay with that. If God is love and all-knowing, then he would know how much that non-response would hurt me on an emotional level. How much more alone it would make me feel. And either he doesn't exist, or he just doesn't care.

I don't feel like I need to prove my new faith to him, because *I* know in my heart it's real, and he should know too. If he is God, and if he walks beside me. Just like I knew in my heart I was ready to change my life when I reached out to my dad, and did, with or without him.

So I've kind of reached this point where stubbornly I'm going to continue to believe in God. Believe he exists and is everything they say. But I don't know if I'm ever going to be close to God. I really needed him, needed something from him, and got nothing. And that's something I feel like I can't get past.

Maybe it's all part of his plan, maybe he wants me to grow on my own without him, but I don't know that I can ever forgive that closed door. Which is ridiculous, like God needs my forgiveness. How entitled and self-important am I? But deep down the feeling is still there.

This whole journey the last two months has actually been a roller coaster and I've been in tears and mentally and emotionally exhausted since it began. I just don't get it.

I can tell you this....I went through what some called the night of the dark soul.
And it lasted for years... I knew God was real and kept seeking Him...until one day...it was like the scripture of what was told to Nicodemus. The wind blows where it wishes you hear the sound of it but do not know where it comes or going, so is everyone born of the Spirit.

GOD IS NOT LIKE AN ATM MACHINE...JUST USE HIM TO GET WHAT WE WANT.
HE SAID WHEN YOU SEEK HIM WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART YOU WILL FIND HIM. SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM AND ITS RIGHTEOUSNESS...
God showed up for me and it sound like He will show up for you. Keep seeking....and one day you will be saying what the writers oF Psalms wrote. I CRIED OUT AND HE ANSWERED ME and delivered me from all my fears.

 

[JLB]

Hello everyone.

I've never been officially Christian. I didn't grow up with much religion. I knew of God and prayed on occasion but never seriously commit myself to believing in him. I've always been a very spiritual person, but over the last five years I've felt very disconnected from the higher power I simply called The Universe. No matter what I tried, I felt very spiritually alone. Unheard.
About two months ago I'd had enough of feeling this way, especially since I was dealing with some minor life problems. I felt so empty and alone that I decided it was time to turn to God. So I said a prayer declaring my commitment to believe in him and have faith in him for life.

I was nervous doing this. I've heard that saying that the closer you get to God, the harder the devil works in your life. I've also heard the story of Job and was worried that this new found faith would be tested in extreme ways. This actually gave me a ton of anxiety. I told myself nothing would shake me, that I would be strong in this new commitment, but even though no major calamities have befallen me (yet, anyway) I still found myself feeling discouraged and tested.

I was expecting that empty feeling to go away. I was expecting to feel a connection. I was expecting to feel hopeful and joyous. But I don't. Maybe it's depression. But I don't feel like God is...interested in my belief. Nothing has changed. Maybe it was stupid to think anything would. But I feel like I knocked on the door and no one answered.

That closed door has tested my new belief more than anything. It's also really thrown me for a mental health loop. I had an issue with my father years ago when I was done being rebellious and wanted to get my life on track. I asked my dad for help (amd essentially for forgiveness) and he turned his back on me. I wound up getting my life on track on my own, but my relationship with my dad never recovered. This situation with God feels very similar. And I'm having the hardest time being okay with that. If God is love and all-knowing, then he would know how much that non-response would hurt me on an emotional level. How much more alone it would make me feel. And either he doesn't exist, or he just doesn't care.

I don't feel like I need to prove my new faith to him, because *I* know in my heart it's real, and he should know too. If he is God, and if he walks beside me. Just like I knew in my heart I was ready to change my life when I reached out to my dad, and did, with or without him.

So I've kind of reached this point where stubbornly I'm going to continue to believe in God. Believe he exists and is everything they say. But I don't know if I'm ever going to be close to God. I really needed him, needed something from him, and got nothing. And that's something I feel like I can't get past.

Maybe it's all part of his plan, maybe he wants me to grow on my own without him, but I don't know that I can ever forgive that closed door. Which is ridiculous, like God needs my forgiveness. How entitled and self-important am I? But deep down the feeling is still there.

This whole journey the last two months has actually been a roller coaster and I've been in tears and mentally and emotionally exhausted since it began. I just don't get it.

God loves you dearly, so much so that He sent His only begotten Son to die for your sins, so you could be truly connected to Him.

If you repented and confessed Jesus Christ as your Lord, then you are born again; spiritually reborn.

Unfortunatly sometimes we are clogged up emotionally not realizing our soul, may need to be restored, while our spirit is a new creation.

Your experience with your father may be one of many reasons you dont feel connected with your Heavenly Father just yet.

Spend some time quietly in your room praying and asking your Heavenly Father to forgive you and cleanse you of your sins. Having sin in our life, even sins we dont yet realize will cause us to fell "disconnected" from Him.

Also, try to forgive your dad, and others who you may have unforgiveness towards. Unforgiveness will definitly cause a "disconnect" with Him.

Try to fing a good bible believing church and pursue Him.

I promise, He loves you.

Hang in there. Dont give up.

God bless you.



JLB

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Hello everyone.

I've never been officially Christian. I didn't grow up with much religion. I knew of God and prayed on occasion but never seriously commit myself to believing in him. I've always been a very spiritual person, but over the last five years I've felt very disconnected from the higher power I simply called The Universe. No matter what I tried, I felt very spiritually alone. Unheard.
About two months ago I'd had enough of feeling this way, especially since I was dealing with some minor life problems. I felt so empty and alone that I decided it was time to turn to God. So I said a prayer declaring my commitment to believe in him and have faith in him for life.

I was nervous doing this. I've heard that saying that the closer you get to God, the harder the devil works in your life. I've also heard the story of Job and was worried that this new found faith would be tested in extreme ways. This actually gave me a ton of anxiety. I told myself nothing would shake me, that I would be strong in this new commitment, but even though no major calamities have befallen me (yet, anyway) I still found myself feeling discouraged and tested.

I was expecting that empty feeling to go away. I was expecting to feel a connection. I was expecting to feel hopeful and joyous. But I don't. Maybe it's depression. But I don't feel like God is...interested in my belief. Nothing has changed. Maybe it was stupid to think anything would. But I feel like I knocked on the door and no one answered.

That closed door has tested my new belief more than anything. It's also really thrown me for a mental health loop. I had an issue with my father years ago when I was done being rebellious and wanted to get my life on track. I asked my dad for help (amd essentially for forgiveness) and he turned his back on me. I wound up getting my life on track on my own, but my relationship with my dad never recovered. This situation with God feels very similar. And I'm having the hardest time being okay with that. If God is love and all-knowing, then he would know how much that non-response would hurt me on an emotional level. How much more alone it would make me feel. And either he doesn't exist, or he just doesn't care.

I don't feel like I need to prove my new faith to him, because *I* know in my heart it's real, and he should know too. If he is God, and if he walks beside me. Just like I knew in my heart I was ready to change my life when I reached out to my dad, and did, with or without him.

So I've kind of reached this point where stubbornly I'm going to continue to believe in God. Believe he exists and is everything they say. But I don't know if I'm ever going to be close to God. I really needed him, needed something from him, and got nothing. And that's something I feel like I can't get past.

Maybe it's all part of his plan, maybe he wants me to grow on my own without him, but I don't know that I can ever forgive that closed door. Which is ridiculous, like God needs my forgiveness. How entitled and self-important am I? But deep down the feeling is still there.

This whole journey the last two months has actually been a roller coaster and I've been in tears and mentally and emotionally exhausted since it began. I just don't get it.

It’s hard to know where to begin. First, if you’re seeking the “Universal” spiritual experience, you’ve knocked on the wrong door if the One True God was actually the goal. There’s only one way to the One, and that’s through Jesus, What does that mean? It means we cannot have relationship with God without recognizing and repenting of our wrongs and seeking His forgiveness. Second, You dedicated yourself to Him hoping to get something out of the deal, feeling better. You’ll need to feel clean (know you’re forgiven) before you’ll feel better but be warned, He won’t let Himself be used to make us feel better.

This isn’t really for you as you’re not yet close to Him. But Now while it is true that the Enemy goes after new believers, it’s not true that the closer one is to God, the more he attacks. The truth is the closer one is to God, the more those believers attack him (and win.)

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Hidden In Him, when you quote James 4:8, you left out the way or requirement we must fulfill for God to draw near to us. It’s doesn’t end with us drawing near to Him and suddenly he’s there. We must repent cleaning our hearts.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Hidden In Him, when you quote James 4:8, you left out the way or requirement we must fulfill for God to draw near to us. It’s doesn’t end with us drawing near to Him and suddenly he’s there. We must repent cleaning our hearts.

Well yes. Unintentionally.

 

[gordon777]

I've never been officially Christian. I didn't grow up with much religion. I knew of God and prayed on occasion but never seriously commit myself to believing in him. I've always been a very spiritual person, but over the last five years I've felt very disconnected from the higher power I simply called The Universe. No matter what I tried, I felt very spiritually alone. Unheard.
About two months ago I'd had enough of feeling this way, especially since I was dealing with some minor life problems. I felt so empty and alone that I decided it was time to turn to God. So I said a prayer declaring my commitment to believe in him and have faith in him for life.

It's true that a broken heart and spirit is what turns us to God. Psalm 34:18.

The commitment is God, He is committing to our trust the Gospel, His righteousness of HIs Kingdom, His Spirit, His love, His fellowship of His sufferings. ( Philippians 3:10.)



1 Timothy 1:11 According to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which was committed to my trust.

1 Timothy 6:20 O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:

 

[gordon777]

I was nervous doing this. I've heard that saying that the closer you get to God, the harder the devil works in your life. I've also heard the story of Job and was worried that this new found faith would be tested in extreme ways. This actually gave me a ton of anxiety. I told myself nothing would shake me, that I would be strong in this new commitment, but even though no major calamities have befallen me (yet, anyway) I still found myself feeling discouraged and tested.

I was expecting that empty feeling to go away. I was expecting to feel a connection. I was expecting to feel hopeful and joyous. But I don't. Maybe it's depression. But I don't feel like God is...interested in my belief. Nothing has changed. Maybe it was stupid to think anything would. But I feel like I knocked on the door and no one answered.

The devil works closer in peoples life, when God is not present. The story of Job is perfect example of that. The devil was restricted/controlled, by God, on what could be done on Job. ( Job 2:6.)

But, if you see the example of Jobs friends, Job was required to pray for them, ( enemies in their minds) or they would be entirely in the devils hands forever. ( the devil was their advisor, or they would not have needed Job to pray for their forgiveness, as Gd confirmed that Job spoke the thing that is right of Him..)




Job 42:7 And it was so, that after the Lord had spoken these words unto Job, the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath.
8 Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job.

 

[gordon777]

That closed door has tested my new belief more than anything. It's also really thrown me for a mental health loop. I had an issue with my father years ago when I was done being rebellious and wanted to get my life on track. I asked my dad for help (amd essentially for forgiveness) and he turned his back on me. I wound up getting my life on track on my own, but my relationship with my dad never recovered. This situation with God feels very similar. And I'm having the hardest time being okay with that. If God is love and all-knowing, then he would know how much that non-response would hurt me on an emotional level. How much more alone it would make me feel. And either he doesn't exist, or he just doesn't care.

I don't feel like I need to prove my new faith to him, because *I* know in my heart it's real, and he should know too. If he is God, and if he walks beside me. Just like I knew in my heart I was ready to change my life when I reached out to my dad, and did, with or without him.

Here in Hebrews 12, Gods word tells us of the fathers we had of our flesh, who corrected us, and we gave reverence to them. Those fathers, did everything after their own pleasure, but the difference of God is He did everything for our profit, so we can take part in His holiness.

People may or may not respond to us. That is one thing. God has responded already, by loving us ( laying His life down for us. Romans 5:8.) before we love Him/while we were yet enemies, in our minds. ( 1 John 4:19.)

Fathers of our flesh, have children as it pleases them. Christ had a very different example for us to follow, He pleased not Himself, and the reproaches of those that reproached us, fell on Him.

That is how we receive adoption of children, how we are accepted in the beloved, because we are chosen to be holy and without blame before Him in love.




Romans 15:3 For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me.
4 For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.

Ephesians 1:4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

Hebrews 12:9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.




Now the question is, do we know God is love, does love dwell in us, for us to dwell in God, and God to dwell in us.



1 John 4:16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

 

[gordon777]

So I've kind of reached this point where stubbornly I'm going to continue to believe in God. Believe he exists and is everything they say. But I don't know if I'm ever going to be close to God. I really needed him, needed something from him, and got nothing. And that's something I feel like I can't get past.

Maybe it's all part of his plan, maybe he wants me to grow on my own without him, but I don't know that I can ever forgive that closed door. Which is ridiculous, like God needs my forgiveness. How entitled and self-important am I? But deep down the feeling is still there.

Love does exist, righteousness exists, truth exists, pure faith, everything created good in its time by Jesus Christ, Genesis 1:31. Ecclesiastes 3:11, how to be loved, how to love, how to care, and share understanding in meekness, lowliness, Jesus Christ leaving Heaven not only to die for us, ( as we were dead without the things of the Spirit of Gods holiness) but to be meek, lowly, riding on a donkey, was our King. ( Matthew 11:29. 21:5.)

No longer the wise, the exalted, the rich, having all of this worlds existence, but God revealed they have only a consolation prize, because the righteous Lord, loves righteousness. ( Luke 1:53. 6:24. Matthew 23:12. 1 Corinthians 3:18-19. Psalm 11:7.)

 

[gordon777]

The door is not closed, Christ is the door, and that door is open for the Prince. ( read blow to see how the ways of life/the door, are made known to us, so we have to read, study, believe in Jesus's sacrifice for us, and sacrifice ourselves too, and whatever we do, do not trust in anyone but the Lord God, who alone, died for us.)


Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Ezekiel 44:2 Then said the Lord unto me; This gate shall be shut, it shall not be opened, and no man shall enter in by it; because the Lord, the God of Israel, hath entered in by it, therefore it shall be shut.
3 It is for the prince; the prince, he shall sit in it to eat bread before the Lord; he shall enter by the way of the porch of that gate, and shall go out by the way of the same.

John 10:9 I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.
10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
11 I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.

Acts 2:28 Thou hast made known to me the ways of life; thou shalt make me full of joy with thy countenance.

Galatians 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

 

[Highway54]

Hello everyone.

I've never been officially Christian. I didn't grow up with much religion. I knew of God and prayed on occasion but never seriously commit myself to believing in him. I've always been a very spiritual person, but over the last five years I've felt very disconnected from the higher power I simply called The Universe. No matter what I tried, I felt very spiritually alone. Unheard.
About two months ago I'd had enough of feeling this way, especially since I was dealing with some minor life problems. I felt so empty and alone that I decided it was time to turn to God. So I said a prayer declaring my commitment to believe in him and have faith in him for life.

I was nervous doing this. I've heard that saying that the closer you get to God, the harder the devil works in your life. I've also heard the story of Job and was worried that this new found faith would be tested in extreme ways. This actually gave me a ton of anxiety. I told myself nothing would shake me, that I would be strong in this new commitment, but even though no major calamities have befallen me (yet, anyway) I still found myself feeling discouraged and tested.

I was expecting that empty feeling to go away. I was expecting to feel a connection. I was expecting to feel hopeful and joyous. But I don't. Maybe it's depression. But I don't feel like God is...interested in my belief. Nothing has changed. Maybe it was stupid to think anything would. But I feel like I knocked on the door and no one answered.

That closed door has tested my new belief more than anything. It's also really thrown me for a mental health loop. I had an issue with my father years ago when I was done being rebellious and wanted to get my life on track. I asked my dad for help (amd essentially for forgiveness) and he turned his back on me. I wound up getting my life on track on my own, but my relationship with my dad never recovered. This situation with God feels very similar. And I'm having the hardest time being okay with that. If God is love and all-knowing, then he would know how much that non-response would hurt me on an emotional level. How much more alone it would make me feel. And either he doesn't exist, or he just doesn't care.

I don't feel like I need to prove my new faith to him, because *I* know in my heart it's real, and he should know too. If he is God, and if he walks beside me. Just like I knew in my heart I was ready to change my life when I reached out to my dad, and did, with or without him.

So I've kind of reached this point where stubbornly I'm going to continue to believe in God. Believe he exists and is everything they say. But I don't know if I'm ever going to be close to God. I really needed him, needed something from him, and got nothing. And that's something I feel like I can't get past.

Maybe it's all part of his plan, maybe he wants me to grow on my own without him, but I don't know that I can ever forgive that closed door. Which is ridiculous, like God needs my forgiveness. How entitled and self-important am I? But deep down the feeling is still there.

This whole journey the last two months has actually been a roller coaster and I've been in tears and mentally and emotionally exhausted since it began. I just don't get it.

Hi Maam, welcome to the forum. God wants you to know Him, and He draws close to them that draw close to Him. One of the first things you learn in a friendship is a persons name. It is no different with God, have you ever heard of or called upon His name? Most versions of the Bible include His name at Ps 83:18. Have you ever heard that name before Narwhal?

 

[journeymanisnothing]

Hello everyone.

I've never been officially Christian. I didn't grow up with much religion. I knew of God and prayed on occasion but never seriously commit myself to believing in him. I've always been a very spiritual person, but over the last five years I've felt very disconnected from the higher power I simply called The Universe. No matter what I tried, I felt very spiritually alone. Unheard.
About two months ago I'd had enough of feeling this way, especially since I was dealing with some minor life problems. I felt so empty and alone that I decided it was time to turn to God. So I said a prayer declaring my commitment to believe in him and have faith in him for life.

I was nervous doing this. I've heard that saying that the closer you get to God, the harder the devil works in your life. I've also heard the story of Job and was worried that this new found faith would be tested in extreme ways. This actually gave me a ton of anxiety. I told myself nothing would shake me, that I would be strong in this new commitment, but even though no major calamities have befallen me (yet, anyway) I still found myself feeling discouraged and tested.

I was expecting that empty feeling to go away. I was expecting to feel a connection. I was expecting to feel hopeful and joyous. But I don't. Maybe it's depression. But I don't feel like God is...interested in my belief. Nothing has changed. Maybe it was stupid to think anything would. But I feel like I knocked on the door and no one answered.

That closed door has tested my new belief more than anything. It's also really thrown me for a mental health loop. I had an issue with my father years ago when I was done being rebellious and wanted to get my life on track. I asked my dad for help (amd essentially for forgiveness) and he turned his back on me. I wound up getting my life on track on my own, but my relationship with my dad never recovered. This situation with God feels very similar. And I'm having the hardest time being okay with that. If God is love and all-knowing, then he would know how much that non-response would hurt me on an emotional level. How much more alone it would make me feel. And either he doesn't exist, or he just doesn't care.

I don't feel like I need to prove my new faith to him, because *I* know in my heart it's real, and he should know too. If he is God, and if he walks beside me. Just like I knew in my heart I was ready to change my life when I reached out to my dad, and did, with or without him.

So I've kind of reached this point where stubbornly I'm going to continue to believe in God. Believe he exists and is everything they say. But I don't know if I'm ever going to be close to God. I really needed him, needed something from him, and got nothing. And that's something I feel like I can't get past.

Maybe it's all part of his plan, maybe he wants me to grow on my own without him, but I don't know that I can ever forgive that closed door. Which is ridiculous, like God needs my forgiveness. How entitled and self-important am I? But deep down the feeling is still there.

This whole journey the last two months has actually been a roller coaster and I've been in tears and mentally and emotionally exhausted since it began. I just don't get it.

Hello Narwhal.
I must say you sound ungrateful for the means (both mental and physical) our Father gave you to solve your problem on your own.
We don't have the ability to do anything without the life and the attributes given by God.

What do you have that you did not receive? 1Cor.4:7

I'm ashamed of myself for feeling and acting ungrateful, but a dear sister pointed out to me
thou shalt remember the LORD thy God: for it is he that giveth thee power to get wealth, Deu.8:18

It helps

 

[Iconoclast]

Here is what Peter wrote to any who have come to Jesus thru faith;

2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:

read psalm 1 read psalm 119, then get into the gospel of John, and see what Jesus said. Not what you feel or think, but see what He taught.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Well yes. Unintentionally.

The promises you gave rest completely upon that condition.

 

[Tenchi]

I was expecting that empty feeling to go away. I was expecting to feel a connection. I was expecting to feel hopeful and joyous. But I don't. Maybe it's depression. But I don't feel like God is...interested in my belief. Nothing has changed. Maybe it was stupid to think anything would. But I feel like I knocked on the door and no one answered.

Imagine if, say, you went to a neighbor's house and walked in uninvited, scrounged around in their fridge and cupboards for food, made a sandwich, grabbed a bag of cookies and a glass of milk, and then plunked yourself down in front of their t.v. and began to eat and watch a movie. How do you think your neighbor would react? Not well, I imagine. Why? Because you didn't give any thought to approaching your neighbor in the way they might want, with respect and courtesy, asking permission to enter their home, showing deference to their house rules and customs, finding out what, if any, way was the right, best way to interact with them. You just made being in their home all about you. And, of course, the result is that you'll get a very...cool reception as a result - maybe even a trip in a cop car to the local police station.

Does God have any particular way He has told us He wants to be approached? Yes, He has. Has He left it mostly up to us to come to Him in any old way we like? No. Do we get to establish the basis for our relating with Him? Nope. And so, when we approach God according to our own thinking, preferences and motives, maybe believing we're doing Him a big favor, or that He's biting His nails hoping against hope that we'll turn to Him, we're going to be rather...confused and disappointed by the very cool response from Him that we get.

First off, God is, well, God. He's not just some super-powered human, right? He's far, far, far more unlike us than He is like us. He's infinite, without beginning or end; He's also all-knowing, and all-powerful and totally without any darkness in Him whatsoever; everything comes from God, ultimately, and is sustained by Him at every moment. There's no Being like God anywhere and no one, no thing, even begins to come close to matching who He is. If we're going to approach God, then, we're going to have to deal with Him as the Almighty King and Creator of Everything that He is. This means, among other things, that we have to come to Him humbly, conscious of our incredible inferiority, our ignorance, weakness and total dependency upon Him. God won't hold wide His arms to those who approach Him lifted up with pride, who think themselves His equal, or near-equal, who don't intend to make Him the God and King of them that He is of the entire universe.

1 Peter 5:5-6
5 ...God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble.
6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God...

James 4:6-10
6 ...God resists the proud, but gives grace unto the humble.
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God....
8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double minded.
9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

Job 42:1-6
1 Then Job answered the LORD and said,
2 "I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
3 'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?' "Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know."
4 'Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me.'
5 "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You;
6 Therefore I retract, And I repent in dust and ashes."

God also tells us in His word, the Bible, that darkness and light don't go together, that unrighteousness and righteousness don't mix, and that, being a perfectly holy God, He won't accept sinful people. We can't just walk up to a God in whom there has never been any darkness at all (and never will be) and say, "Hey, I'm going to believe in you and see how it goes. What d'you think of that?" Every single one of us has sinned and this puts us at dire odds with God. Until we get the sin-issue sorted out, we can't enjoy fellowship with our holy Maker.

Romans 3:10
10 as it is written, "There is none righteous, not even one;

Romans 3:23
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Psalm 1:5-6
5 ... the wicked will not stand in the judgment, Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
6 For the LORD knows the way of the righteous, But the way of the wicked will perish.

Isaiah 59:2
2 But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.


Because God's a loving, gracious, merciful God, He's made a way for us to be free of the stain of sin that's upon us, to be forgiven of our sin and reconciled to Him. But there is only one Way, one avenue to God, that can cleanse us of our sin and make us acceptable to God. If we won't approach God through this Way, He simply won't accept us.

1 Timothy 2:5-6
5 For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,
6 who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time.

John 14:6
6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.

John 10:7-9
7 So Jesus said to them again, "Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep.
8 "All who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them.
9 "I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.

Acts 4:12
12 "And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved."

Imagine walking up to the new King of England and punching him on the shoulder and saying something like, "Hey, Chucky, howzit? Wanna be friends? I think I'll be your friend, so you gotta be mine." Silly, right? Now imagine the Monarch who created, sustains and rules the entire universe, so far beyond King Charles in every respect that it's impossible to explain just how far. Why in the world would anyone think He doesn't have certain protocols that we must all observe when we think to approach Him? Well, as I've explained above, He does. And if we want to connect with Him, it will be only by following carefully those protocols.

This whole journey the last two months has actually been a roller coaster and I've been in tears and mentally and emotionally exhausted since it began. I just don't get it.

See above.

 

[journeymanisnothing]

Imagine if, say, you went to a neighbor's house and walked in uninvited, scrounged around in their fridge and cupboards for food, made a sandwich, grabbed a bag of cookies and a glass of milk, and then plunked yourself down in front of their t.v. and began to eat and watch a movie. How do you think your neighbor would react? Not well, I imagine. Why? Because you didn't give any thought to approaching your neighbor in the way they might want, with respect and courtesy, asking permission to enter their home, showing deference to their house rules and customs, finding out what, if any, way was the right, best way to interact with them. You just made being in their home all about you. And, of course, the result is that you'll get a very...cool reception as a result - maybe even a trip in a cop car to the local police station.

Does God have any particular way He has told us He wants to be approached? Yes, He has. Has He left it mostly up to us to come to Him in any old way we like? No. Do we get to establish the basis for our relating with Him? Nope. And so, when we approach God according to our own thinking, preferences and motives, maybe believing we're doing Him a big favor, or that He's biting His nails hoping against hope that we'll turn to Him, we're going to be rather...confused and disappointed by the very cool response from Him that we get.

First off, God is, well, God. He's not just some super-powered human, right? He's far, far, far more unlike us than He is like us. He's infinite, without beginning or end; He's also all-knowing, and all-powerful and totally without any darkness in Him whatsoever; everything comes from God, ultimately, and is sustained by Him at every moment. There's no Being like God anywhere and no one, no thing, even begins to come close to matching who He is. If we're going to approach God, then, we're going to have to deal with Him as the Almighty King and Creator of Everything that He is. This means, among other things, that we have to come to Him humbly, conscious of our incredible inferiority, our ignorance, weakness and total dependency upon Him. God won't hold wide His arms to those who approach Him lifted up with pride, who think themselves His equal, or near-equal, who don't intend to make Him the God and King of them that He is of the entire universe.

1 Peter 5:5-6
5 ...God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble.
6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God...

James 4:6-10
6 ...God resists the proud, but gives grace unto the humble.
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God....
8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double minded.
9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

Job 42:1-6
1 Then Job answered the LORD and said,
2 "I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
3 'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?' "Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know."
4 'Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me.'
5 "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You;
6 Therefore I retract, And I repent in dust and ashes."

God also tells us in His word, the Bible, that darkness and light don't go together, that unrighteousness and righteousness don't mix, and that, being a perfectly holy God, He won't accept sinful people. We can't just walk up to a God in whom there has never been any darkness at all (and never will be) and say, "Hey, I'm going to believe in you and see how it goes. What d'you think of that?" Every single one of us has sinned and this puts us at dire odds with God. Until we get the sin-issue sorted out, we can't enjoy fellowship with our holy Maker.

Romans 3:10
10 as it is written, "There is none righteous, not even one;

Romans 3:23
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Psalm 1:5-6
5 ... the wicked will not stand in the judgment, Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
6 For the LORD knows the way of the righteous, But the way of the wicked will perish.

Isaiah 59:2
2 But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.


Because God's a loving, gracious, merciful God, He's made a way for us to be free of the stain of sin that's upon us, to be forgiven of our sin and reconciled to Him. But there is only one Way, one avenue to God, that can cleanse us of our sin and make us acceptable to God. If we won't approach God through this Way, He simply won't accept us.

1 Timothy 2:5-6
5 For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,
6 who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time.

John 14:6
6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.

John 10:7-9
7 So Jesus said to them again, "Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep.
8 "All who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them.
9 "I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.

Acts 4:12
12 "And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved."

Imagine walking up to the new King of England and punching him on the shoulder and saying something like, "Hey, Chucky, howzit? Wanna be friends? I think I'll be your friend, so you gotta be mine." Silly, right? Now imagine the Monarch who created, sustains and rules the entire universe, so far beyond King Charles in every respect that it's impossible to explain just how far. Why in the world would anyone think He doesn't have certain protocols that we must all observe when we think to approach Him? Well, as I've explained above, He does. And if we want to connect with Him, it will be only by following carefully those protocols.

God isn't "just some super powered human", but the scriptures cited in your post show that Jesus displayed all the mercy of God towards sinners who hated him. Perfect in mercy is how the Father and Son are. We get to know him better when he gives us opportunities to follow the Holy Spirit in showing love toward our enemies.

 

[gordon777]

Here are four scriptures, for faith of the right path to Christ.

In this end time, many cling to those with flatteries, as foretold in Daniel 11:34.

Jesus told us, we must strive to enter in at the straight gate, for many seek to enter and shall not be able.

Many false prophets rise to deceive many. ( many cling to those with flatteries.)

Told there will be false teachers among us, and many follow their subtil ways. ( they speak evil of the way of truth.)



Now that we are aware of all the warnings and possible false teachers, deceiving us , ( deceiving many) what reason is left to hear that advice.




Daniel 11:34 Now when they shall fall, they shall be holpen with a little help: but many shall cleave to them with flatteries.

Luke 13:24 Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able.

Matthew 24:11 And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.

2 Peter 2:1 But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.
2 And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of.

 

[Tenchi]

God isn't "just some super powered human", but the scriptures cited in your post show that Jesus displayed all the mercy of God towards sinners who hated him. Perfect in mercy is how the Father and Son are. We get to know him better when he gives us opportunities to follow the Holy Spirit in showing love toward our enemies.

Yes, God shows mercy to sinners constantly, not casting them immediately into hell the first time they sin. But this fact doesn't mean we can approach God in any old way we like. He's calling the shots, setting the rules, not us.