Struggling with new faith

[Narwhal]

Hello everyone.

I've never been officially Christian. I didn't grow up with much religion. I knew of God and prayed on occasion but never seriously commit myself to believing in him. I've always been a very spiritual person, but over the last five years I've felt very disconnected from the higher power I simply called The Universe. No matter what I tried, I felt very spiritually alone. Unheard.
About two months ago I'd had enough of feeling this way, especially since I was dealing with some minor life problems. I felt so empty and alone that I decided it was time to turn to God. So I said a prayer declaring my commitment to believe in him and have faith in him for life.

I was nervous doing this. I've heard that saying that the closer you get to God, the harder the devil works in your life. I've also heard the story of Job and was worried that this new found faith would be tested in extreme ways. This actually gave me a ton of anxiety. I told myself nothing would shake me, that I would be strong in this new commitment, but even though no major calamities have befallen me (yet, anyway) I still found myself feeling discouraged and tested.

I was expecting that empty feeling to go away. I was expecting to feel a connection. I was expecting to feel hopeful and joyous. But I don't. Maybe it's depression. But I don't feel like God is...interested in my belief. Nothing has changed. Maybe it was stupid to think anything would. But I feel like I knocked on the door and no one answered.

That closed door has tested my new belief more than anything. It's also really thrown me for a mental health loop. I had an issue with my father years ago when I was done being rebellious and wanted to get my life on track. I asked my dad for help (amd essentially for forgiveness) and he turned his back on me. I wound up getting my life on track on my own, but my relationship with my dad never recovered. This situation with God feels very similar. And I'm having the hardest time being okay with that. If God is love and all-knowing, then he would know how much that non-response would hurt me on an emotional level. How much more alone it would make me feel. And either he doesn't exist, or he just doesn't care.

I don't feel like I need to prove my new faith to him, because *I* know in my heart it's real, and he should know too. If he is God, and if he walks beside me. Just like I knew in my heart I was ready to change my life when I reached out to my dad, and did, with or without him.

So I've kind of reached this point where stubbornly I'm going to continue to believe in God. Believe he exists and is everything they say. But I don't know if I'm ever going to be close to God. I really needed him, needed something from him, and got nothing. And that's something I feel like I can't get past.

Maybe it's all part of his plan, maybe he wants me to grow on my own without him, but I don't know that I can ever forgive that closed door. Which is ridiculous, like God needs my forgiveness. How entitled and self-important am I? But deep down the feeling is still there.

This whole journey the last two months has actually been a roller coaster and I've been in tears and mentally and emotionally exhausted since it began. I just don't get it.

 

[Free]

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https://christianforums.net/threads/forum-rules-and-guidelines.87393/

 

[gordon777]

Hello everyone.

I've never been officially Christian. I didn't grow up with much religion. I knew of God and prayed on occasion but never seriously commit myself to believing in him. I've always been a very spiritual person, but over the last five years I've felt very disconnected from the higher power I simply called The Universe. No matter what I tried, I felt very spiritually alone. Unheard.
About two months ago I'd had enough of feeling this way, especially since I was dealing with some minor life problems. I felt so empty and alone that I decided it was time to turn to God. So I said a prayer declaring my commitment to believe in him and have faith in him for life.

I was nervous doing this. I've heard that saying that the closer you get to God, the harder the devil works in your life. I've also heard the story of Job and was worried that this new found faith would be tested in extreme ways. This actually gave me a ton of anxiety. I told myself nothing would shake me, that I would be strong in this new commitment, but even though no major calamities have befallen me (yet, anyway) I still found myself feeling discouraged and tested.

I was expecting that empty feeling to go away. I was expecting to feel a connection. I was expecting to feel hopeful and joyous. But I don't. Maybe it's depression. But I don't feel like God is...interested in my belief. Nothing has changed. Maybe it was stupid to think anything would. But I feel like I knocked on the door and no one answered.

That closed door has tested my new belief more than anything. It's also really thrown me for a mental health loop. I had an issue with my father years ago when I was done being rebellious and wanted to get my life on track. I asked my dad for help (amd essentially for forgiveness) and he turned his back on me. I wound up getting my life on track on my own, but my relationship with my dad never recovered. This situation with God feels very similar. And I'm having the hardest time being okay with that. If God is love and all-knowing, then he would know how much that non-response would hurt me on an emotional level. How much more alone it would make me feel. And either he doesn't exist, or he just doesn't care.

I don't feel like I need to prove my new faith to him, because *I* know in my heart it's real, and he should know too. If he is God, and if he walks beside me. Just like I knew in my heart I was ready to change my life when I reached out to my dad, and did, with or without him.

So I've kind of reached this point where stubbornly I'm going to continue to believe in God. Believe he exists and is everything they say. But I don't know if I'm ever going to be close to God. I really needed him, needed something from him, and got nothing. And that's something I feel like I can't get past.

Maybe it's all part of his plan, maybe he wants me to grow on my own without him, but I don't know that I can ever forgive that closed door. Which is ridiculous, like God needs my forgiveness. How entitled and self-important am I? But deep down the feeling is still there.

This whole journey the last two months has actually been a roller coaster and I've been in tears and mentally and emotionally exhausted since it began. I just don't get it.

Questions by new members are always a little unusual, and I think to avoid Christianity being treated any way anyone wants, it might be a good way to know who people are first, before questions are pout immediately, on a thread designed to have any and whatsoever questions, anyone wants.

If we struggle with new faith, that is what the forums are for, to have all sorts of opinion, to help that struggle. ( mixed, varied ideas)


Or, to bypass that way any more, we go only to the Lord, and the role of everybody who likes to give answers, is obselete. ( which it is to those of faith, because the best work anyone does on the forum is talk.)



2 Corinthians 11:3 But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.
4 For if he that cometh preacheth another Jesus, whom we have not preached, or if ye receive another spirit, which ye have not received, or another gospel, which ye have not accepted, ye might well bear with him.

2 Corinthians 11:12 But what I do, that I will do, that I may cut off occasion from them which desire occasion; that wherein they glory, they may be found even as we.
13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.
14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.
15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.

 

[journeymanisnothing]

Yes, God shows mercy to sinners constantly, not casting them immediately into hell the first time they sin. But this fact doesn't mean we can approach God in any old way we like. He's calling the shots, setting the rules, not us.

I fully agree. All I'm saying is that God was approached with words of hatred and horribly abused before being nailed to a cross. Many repented of sinning against him.

 

[Narwhal]

Thank you everyone for your answers. I had a bit of an epiphany today. I realized I went into this ready to believe God *exists*, but I didn't have any faith in him. I was waiting for the hammer to drop. For bad things to happen, to be tested, forced to confront my sins and failings. Not one single part of me actually believed that God is Love and that he wants the best for me. I realized that's the hardest part of faith: believing he cares. Trusting him to love us.

I've changed my outlook and knocked on the right door.

 

[gordon777]

I think the best struggle of all would be satan and his ministers. Satan believes he is right, even above God, and his angels/ministers, trust the same.


Isaiah 14:12 How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!
13 For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.
15 Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.

2 Corinthians 11:13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.
14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.
15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.

 

[Deidr]

Thank you everyone for your answers. I had a bit of an epiphany today. I realized I went into this ready to believe God *exists*, but I didn't have any faith in him. I was waiting for the hammer to drop. For bad things to happen, to be tested, forced to confront my sins and failings. Not one single part of me actually believed that God is Love and that he wants the best for me. I realized that's the hardest part of faith: believing he cares. Trusting him to love us.

I've changed my outlook and knocked on the right door.

Amen! And something I learned live only in the day you have don't borrow days you don't know about.
There is a reason He says His commands are not grievous, because they are life to the one who lives in them.
It's a day to day walk to learn to trust Him.But what we practice is what we become and it starts by thinking about how we think. Bring forth fruit of your new thoughts.
Today I will be intentional and write down the most important things for me to do that are in light of seeking the kingdom and its righteousness. And I may work on one or 2 and save the rest for the next days.
My friend always consults God for many answers. I'm trying that too..
As you go love people, and to love we must remember our purpose that we are to be a light. And so remembering scripture may help.

Peace and Blessings

 

[Deidr]

My spouse use to pray in tongue
But said it felt like it was forced and sense not knowing what was being said, prayed in English instead.


There are 2 passages that got me
This one:
Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.


Spirit with Capital S

 

[for_his_glory]

Thank you everyone for your answers. I had a bit of an epiphany today. I realized I went into this ready to believe God *exists*, but I didn't have any faith in him. I was waiting for the hammer to drop. For bad things to happen, to be tested, forced to confront my sins and failings. Not one single part of me actually believed that God is Love and that he wants the best for me. I realized that's the hardest part of faith: believing he cares. Trusting him to love us.

I've changed my outlook and knocked on the right door.

I would like you to read Acts 2:14-41, which is Peter's first sermon on the day of Pentecost. After he was done speaking many hearts were convicted by the preaching of the word of God and they asked Peter what they should do. Now read and hear what Peter told them in vs. 38-39.
Act 2:38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.
Act 2:39 For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.

These men gladly received the word and began fellowshipping with each other as they continued to hear the word preached to them as they were lifted up and edified by the fellowship they were keeping. This is what you need is that close fellowship with others that will help you grow in faith and to know the love that God has for you. God's grace is sufficient for when we are weak God's strength is made perfect in us.

I will leave you with these scriptures for you to read and please do not look on those testing's of faith as it is only those who are strong in their faith that will pass such a test, but to know as young as you are being somewhat weak in faith know that the more you fellowship, pray and the more you study the word of God your faith will grow as you grow in your relationship with Christ Jesus.

John 3:5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
John 3:6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
John 3:7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
John 3:8 The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.

John 10:9 I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.
John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
John 10:11 I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.

Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
Romans 10:10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
Romans 10:11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.

 

[gordon777]

Because new faith is the best way to be misled, God tells us we do not need any to teach us. ( even though they think they can do, and continue to try to teach everyone, anyway.)

Here are a few verses for that answer. ( the only way to not be misled also, the truth is in Jesus Christ, it is not in any other persons name to hear, believe, or follow at all, especially as I have shown for us, that satans ministers try to deceive us, with satan appearing as an angel of light even.)



John 6:44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.
45 It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God. Every man therefore that hath heard, and hath learned of the Father, cometh unto me.

Galatians 1:11 But I certify you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached of me is not after man.
12 For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 4:17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind,
18 Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:
19 Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
20 But ye have not so learned Christ;
21 If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus:
22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;
23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

Hebrews 8:10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people:
11 And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.

1 John 2:24 Let that therefore abide in you, which ye have heard from the beginning. If that which ye have heard from the beginning shall remain in you, ye also shall continue in the Son, and in the Father.
25 And this is the promise that he hath promised us, even eternal life.
26 These things have I written unto you concerning them that seduce you.
27 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

 

[gordon777]

When we overcome this world, as Jesus overcame, ( to set down with His Father, and grant us to sit with Him in His throne) that is the time our questions are answered, and it cant possibly be until then.


Revelation 3:21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.

 

[for_his_glory]

Because new faith is the best way to be misled, God tells us we do not need any to teach us. ( even though they think they can do, and continue to try to teach everyone, anyway.)

Faith is new to those who first come to Christ as faith starts out the size of a mustard seed and matures/grows by hearing the word preached to you. A part from the Holy Spirit teaching a man, they can teach us nothing but error. We are told to test the spirits that teach us so we are not mislead.

John 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

Rom 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Rom 10:14 How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?
Rom 10:15 And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!
Rom 10:16 But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Esaias saith, Lord, who hath believed our report?
Rom 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.


1John 2:27 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

1John 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.
1John 4:2 Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:
1John 4:3 And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.
1John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
1John 4:5 They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them.
1John 4:6 We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error.

 

[gordon777]

Rom 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Rom 10:14 How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?
Rom 10:15 And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!
Rom 10:16 But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Esaias saith, Lord, who hath believed our report?
Rom 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Here is an answer for testing the spirits.

How can a person in faith ( new faith) know who has a true Spirit, and who has an error. ( spirit) ?

An easy answer, when we see errors, that must be the error of the wicked. ( 2 Peter 3:17.)



It may seem that we have preachers that bring glad tidings, yet there are only the feet of HIM, as Zechariah 14 spoke ALSO, HIS FEET, ( Jesus Christ) stand upon the mount of Olives. ( who alone brought good tidings/the Gospel of Christ.)



Isaiah 52:7 How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of HIM that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!

Rom 10:15 And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things

Zechariah 14:4 And his feet shall stand in that day upon the mount of Olives, which is before Jerusalem on the east, and the mount of Olives shall cleave in the midst thereof toward the east and toward the west, and there shall be a very great valley; and half of the mountain shall remove toward the north, and half of it toward the south.

John 8:1 Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.

 

[gordon777]

Faith comes by God giving faith, it is the Spirit given, and a person cannot give the Spirit, nor have any part in it.. ( 2 Corinthians 4:13.)

Faith begins as a grain of mustard, which is little, ( the least as a little child) then grows into a man of God.



Matthew 13:32 Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof.

Luke 9:48 And said unto them, Whosoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me receiveth him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be great.

 

[WIP]

Please focus your responses on the OP's questions and do not engage each other's differences.

 

[Lalas]

Narwhal, sometimes it is easy to let emotions get in the way of our faith because feelings alone can be quite deceptive. Even if we do not "feel" the presence of God at every moment in time, or when we "feel like" God isn't taking any interest in us, part of our faith is about acknowledging God's sovereignty and withstanding all the pressures of this world, this life, to make an active, conscious decision to commit to Jesus every day. Yes, it is harder than it sounds. Yes, you will struggle along the way. Yes, you will meet and endure all kinds of challenges as a result. Just like every other Christian in this world.

Having said that, I don't think becoming a Christian means you have instantly become a new target of Satan and his thugs. As humans, we were born into sin and therefore we were already condemned. We were targets of Satan long before we knew God (Remember, Satan wants everyone to go to hell and be eternally removed from God). But now that you have become a follower of Christ, God has equipped you with the power to overcome the principalities of evil. As a child of God, you now have a Heavenly Father who is with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9); the Holy Spirit is with you to help you (John 14:26). Hence, the devil will undoubtedly wish to annoy you and intimidate you somehow but that's the only extent to which he can practice his power over you. Satan knows he cannot win against God. He cannot win against the power of Christ in you.

Also, not everyone who follows Jesus becomes exactly like Job. He is an exception and not the rule. There is an abundance of blessings and immeasurable joy which accompany the life of a Christian. The promises of God and the hope we have in Christ cannot be compared with any other accomplishments, tangible possessions, or earthly gains of this life. Sometimes in the midst of our great pain we can easily forget all the wonderful things God has provided and blessed us with. We need to take a moment to say a word of thanks to the Lord for all the good things that we do have.

And it's not that evil will have increased or diminished through your own doing of any kind, but you, as a believer of Christ, could have become more spiritually aware of the presence of good versus evil now that you belong to the Lord. So maybe this is why you may be on an "alert" thinking you could be tested at an extreme level. But I believe God wouldn't allow you to suffer beyond what you can endure (1 Corinthians 10:13). If for whatever reason He does allow you to suffer beyond your ability to cope, then perhaps God will reward you richly as He had rewarded Job. God has the ability to use your amazing story to inspire others to grow and do good works.

I am very sorry to hear that your relationship with your earthly father hasn't been at its best. Will be praying for you and your father.

 

[gordon777]

New faith is the beginning of God in a persons life, filled with the fulness of God, if people advised ( lived) by Gods words, they would know how to give Gods word, and not their own. ( people advise is a poor alternative, plus we are to stop being DECEIVED BY THEIR CUNNING CRAFTINESS.)


Ephesians 3:19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

Ephesians 4:13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and CUNNING CRAFGTINESS, WHEREBY THEY LIE IN WAIT TO DECEIVE.