Submit to your husband

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1 Peter 3:1
[ Wives and Husbands ] Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,

This came up in feminism, and I just wanted to explore the topic more, being engaged and everything. What would people's definition for submissive be in this context? Is it that ultimately your husband's decesion is final.
 
This direction (to submit) is for the wife - and it is the wife's decision to follow it or toss it aside. It is not for the husband to even consider (i.e. he should never force his wife to submit).

Similarly, the husband is directed to love his wife as Christ loved the church. This is not for the wife to even consider (i.e. "why aren't you loving me the way Christ loved the church?"). If the husband truly loves his wife in this way, the wife will be happy to decide to 'submit' to his authority, as it will bring honor and respect to her husband - and to God.

When these directions are tossed aside, in my opinion, chaos, disagreement, disrespect, selfishness, etc. rule in the marriage.

My two cents.

There are some GREAT books on marriage out there. Try 'Love and Respect' by Eggeridge and go through it with your fiance before you get married.

Also: Before You Say I Do (?), The Five Love Languages (Smalley), The Mystery of Marriage (Mason), The Seven Love Agreements (Weiss).
 
It has been said that behind every good man, is a good woman.
Check ou this site based on sound biblical insight, maybe even join up for free?
http://www.loveandrespect.com/

It was customary that a man marry an honorable woman, and he learned to love her. We could all learn a bit...

Sorry for posting such a long chapter in Proverbs, but it just speaks for it's self.

31:10 Who can find a wife of noble character? For her value is far more than rubies.

31:11 The heart of her husband has confidence in her,and he has no lack of gain.

31:12 She brings him good and not evil all the days of her life.

31:13 She obtains wool and flax, and she is pleased to work with her hands.

31:14 She is like the merchant ships; she brings her food from afar.

31:15 She also gets up while it is still night, and provides food for her household and a portion to her female servants.

31:16 She considers a field and buys it; from her own income she plants a vineyard.

31:17 She begins her work vigorously, and she strengthens her arms.

31:18 She knows that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out in the night.

31:19 Her hands take hold of the distaff, and her hands grasp the spindle.

31:20 She extends her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hand to the needy.

31:21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all of her household are clothed with scarlet.

31:22 She makes for herself coverlets; her clothing is fine linen and purple.

31:23 Her husband is well-known in the city gate when he sits with the elders of the land.

31:24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

31:25 She is clothed with strength and honor, and she can laugh at the time to come.

31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue.

31:27 She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.

31:28 Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also praises her:

31:29 “Many daughters have done valiantly, but you surpass them all!â€Â

31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.

31:31 Give her credit for what she has accomplished, and let her works praise her in the city gates.
 
In a perfect world:

He follows Christ. You follow Christ. You just naturally line up behind him.

Pray. Offer up anything in prayer that is out of line. If he is out of line and insists that you submit, pray some more. When he is in line, and ask something ~ submission is doing what he asks.

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

You must have common ground. You must be walking in the same direction. At the same pace. At the same time. Seeking the same goals.
 
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