The Hypocritical Heart of Mine...

[Edward]

I didn't want to derail the hypocracy thread which I read and could add little if any to so I start this one. I admit that I am hypocritical (we all are I think) but I can not recognize how. It is easy to understand that I am nothing and God is everything, but I am lukewarm and this scares me. I do not want to be spit from the mouth of God.

When I first came to this board, I thought I knew something. It was pretty much immediately evident that I know next to nothing about the Lords ways, by reading the posts of some of our fine members, always backed up by scripture, it is evident that I know nothing.

I pray for Wisdom and Understanding. When I was younger and first introduced to the Lord, I understood less, but retained more. Now that I am older I understand more (as I read it) but retain very little it seems. I want to develop my relationship with the Lord, but I am as a child (where I feel that I should be maturing) and feel that I do little to nothing for the Lord. My spirit is willing, but my flesh is very weak. I try to obey and to read and learn but feel that I am failing in this. I am becoming better at obeying but nowhere close to where I should be. I give praise to God everyday in all things.

The Lord puts before me situations where I should do his work (having charity, forgiveness, restraint of of my vile mouth and so forth) and I almost never do it but later I am able to look back and see what I should have done. I see where I fail, but can't seem to do better. The best I seem to be able to do is to have faith in him, and I am probably lying about that. I am wretched and vile, and fear being spit out. The best I seem to be able to do is to have little faith.

I can't spot the holes in my direction. I seem to have humility, and try to give the Lord total control of my life but I fail constantly. What am I doing wrong (besides everything)? When I read you good people threads it is so far over my head that I feel like a failure and it makes me question everything about myself and what I thought I know...please pray for me and perhaps give a kindergartner a little direction please?

 

[farouk]

What we all need to continue to do is to read the Word prayerfully every day, and then by the Lord's grace, through His Spirit, we gradually increase our understanding. Our goal should not only be an increase in head knowledge, of course, but rather to 'grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ' (2 Peter 3).

 

[Grazer]

Being able to quote scripture is not a sign that you're getting it right. I don't recall Jesus quoting the OT everytime he made a point. We all get it wrong but an analogy I've found useful was in a book "Wild at heart" The author said in his woodwork class he had to make a stool. He made 1 leg and part of the second and came back the next day to find the teacher had completed it because he had at least tried. Faith is the stool and God is the teacher. If we make an effort, God will do the rest.

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[farouk]

Being able to quote scripture is not a sign that you're getting it right. I don't recall Jesus quoting the OT everytime he made a point. We all get it wrong but an analogy I've found useful was in a book "Wild at heart" The author said in his woodwork class he had to make a stool. He made 1 leg and part of the second and came back the next day to find the teacher had completed it because he had at least tried. Faith is the stool and God is the teacher. If we make an effort, God will do the rest.

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No, but if we are relying prayerfully on Scriptural wisdom instead of our supposed intellectual abilities or our opinions, then the Lord by His Spirit is more likely to enlighten us graciously.

 

[Grazer]

No, but if we are relying prayerfully on Scriptural wisdom instead of our supposed intellectual abilities or our opinions, then the Lord by His Spirit is more likely to enlighten us graciously.

You need your intellectual abilities to read the bible, understand it and understand the answers from God.

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[farouk]

You need your intellectual abilities to read the bible, understand it and understand the answers from God.

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Grazer;

But what if I'm not very intelligent; what if I simply can trust what God graciously tells me in His Word?

 

[Grazer]

Grazer;

But what if I'm not very intelligent; what if I simply can trust what God graciously tells me in His Word?

Not being intelligent doesn't mean you have zero intellectual ability. You must have some to even read the bible, heck you must have some to open it and turn the pages

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[farouk]

Not being intelligent doesn't mean you have zero intellectual ability. You must have some to even read the bible, heck you must have some to open it and turn the pages

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But it's the Spirit of God by His grace, when I prayerfully depend on Him and seeking the glory of Christ, that is more likely to give me some understanding of the Word than my intellect. Especially since my heart can deceive me a lot.

 

[Grazer]

But it's the Spirit of God by His grace, when I prayerfully depend on Him and seeking the glory of Christ, that is more likely to give me some understanding of the Word than my intellect. Especially since my heart can deceive me a lot.

I've not disputed that. But God gave us intellect, I think he means for us to use it

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[farouk]

I've not disputed that

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Okay.

 

[Edward]

I do read and pray every day. My heart is different, I feel the joy of the Lord and my faith is increasing. I acknowledge God in all that I do. Hmm, could it be that I am just anxious to grow stronger faster and need to have more patience? My morning reading took me to Psalm 84 today

I am blessed, there is no question about that. In my weakness he is strong.

 

[Edward]

The more I learn, the less I feel I know. What I do learn, it seems as if while I can not quote the scriptures by memory, I know in my heart and can feel the proper direction. Perhaps I am just anxious and apprehensive because I feel like I want to do more, have wasted much time in my life, and should be further along than I am.