[__ Prayer __] toughening up

[Christ_empowered]

Until very recently, I didn't really get to grow up. Part circumstances beyond my control, part personal sin, part self-righteous hypocrites reacting to my personal sin and general wretchedness.

OK. I know I post(ed) here all the time about the taunts and everything I get around here. I mean, its rough. People keep talking about "federal warrants," "go pick up your warrant!," etc.

I'm getting better. File this under "Praise Report." I prayed for what it takes to bear up under what comes my way, and The Good Lord has seen fit to make that happen for me.

Truth is, nobody around here ever liked me, anyway. Yes, the shrinks and other "professionals" set out to make an example out of me. They say now I "developed Schizophrenia." That's funny, because my current treatment people say I'm "in recovery" from severe Bipolar I. See what I'm saying? Mental health=not a huge help to a lot of us.

A lot of what people scream at me and say about me is useful because, well, I was a wretch until Christ saw fit to save me. Effeminate, too feminine looking, not too bright. Now...I mean, I'm gender appropriate, albeit on the softer end of manly, a little too pretty but nothing off putting, and smart enough for Liberty online.

I'm still a little too soft, but I used to be a marshmallow. Better to grow up late than never at all. I'm just tired of all these self-righteous, hypocritical people coming after me...basically because they can.

 

[AirDancer]

No matter where you go in this life, Christ_empowered, you'll find that personality types never change...only the faces & names change. As you continue in your relationship with our Lord, you'll be guided in sound ways to ignoring those personality types that try to bring you down, to feel poorly about yourself. One thing about our Lord: He loves you dearly and wants the best for you. With Him, you'll be able to pray for those who are not friendly ... and through His mercy and grace, you'll discover it to be easier and easier as you pray for those who could be viewed as 'enemies'.

Mercy loves and Grace pardons.... two of our Lord's blessings!

 

[Kathi]

Until very recently, I didn't really get to grow up. Part circumstances beyond my control, part personal sin, part self-righteous hypocrites reacting to my personal sin and general wretchedness.

OK. I know I post(ed) here all the time about the taunts and everything I get around here. I mean, its rough. People keep talking about "federal warrants," "go pick up your warrant!," etc.

I'm getting better. File this under "Praise Report." I prayed for what it takes to bear up under what comes my way, and The Good Lord has seen fit to make that happen for me.

Truth is, nobody around here ever liked me, anyway. Yes, the shrinks and other "professionals" set out to make an example out of me. They say now I "developed Schizophrenia." That's funny, because my current treatment people say I'm "in recovery" from severe Bipolar I. See what I'm saying? Mental health=not a huge help to a lot of us.

A lot of what people scream at me and say about me is useful because, well, I was a wretch until Christ saw fit to save me. Effeminate, too feminine looking, not too bright. Now...I mean, I'm gender appropriate, albeit on the softer end of manly, a little too pretty but nothing off putting, and smart enough for Liberty online.

I'm still a little too soft, but I used to be a marshmallow. Better to grow up late than never at all. I'm just tired of all these self-righteous, hypocritical people coming after me...basically because they can.

So you are a sensitive person.Nothing wrong with that.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Its not that I don't want to be sensitive. It works for me. I even write melancholy short stories, lol. Just...there's a point at which you have to be able to toughen up a tad, just as part of growing up. I dunno. My growing up process was all sortsa messed up by personal sin, ECT, and some bizarre regression at age 23. So, now, Christ has seen fit to help me grow up a bit, and I'm thankful.

 

[Willie T]

Just an interesting little story to contemplate......

An old man sat quietly rocking on his front porch when a young couple approached him.
“Sir”, the husband said, “We’re thinking of moving to this town, and wondered if you could give us an idea of what the people are like here.”
“Well”, the old man replied, “What were they like where you came from?”
Both the husband and wife enthusiastically answered that they were friendly, outgoing, and always ready to lend a helping hand.
“Yeah, they’re pretty much the same way here.”, said the old gent.
A few hours later another young couple drove up and they too asked the same question of the elderly man.
“Sir”, the husband said, “We’re thinking of moving to this town, and wondered if you could give us an idea of what the people are like here.”
“Well”, the old man replied, “What were they like where you came from?”
Both the husband and wife snapped back that “those people” were very unfriendly, secretive and reclusive, and never seemed to care a thing about anyone but themselves.
“Yeah, they’re pretty much the same way here.”, replied the old gent.

 

[Christ_empowered]

yeah, Willie T, good point...

...I always think that my hope and future is somewhere away, over there. I don't know where "there" is, but that's what I've assumed for years. Truth is...stigmatized as I am around here, at least my people are behind me, you know? And I can't act as if the stigma just kind of happened. I was wretched up to repentance, which was *less* than 2 years ago. I'm 30, freshly turned. That's nearly 3 decades of wretchedness. I can't expect my community to suddenly turn around and give me--a chronically unemployed, former drug addict, former homosexual, supported by his (newly) affluent family and disability--a big, warm, group hug.

Our fight is not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities...

Truth is, Satan despises *weaklings*, and I was the ultimate weakling, from a young age. I somehow came to repentance, and God has seen fit to do wonderful things for me. Satan isn't pleased. Satan doesn't like Born Again Christians in general, and those he once had a particularly firm grip upon he probably despises even more. I get that. I also get that there's stigma to contend with. Satan, his ideas, and his minions run much of the world. Losers don't matter, schizophrenics should all be in hospitals or group homes, etc. etc. etc. Its just satanic, from the oppression of the poor to the stigma attached to madness to the constant efforts of many to keep people low on the totem pole "in line...." satan.

Blah blah blah...

I've been praying for what I need to bear up under what comes my way (I seem to recall a Bible verse promising such), and God has blessed me with it. He's also blessed me with a little more insight, wisdom, and discernment than I had before. Truth is, these people are no longer any better than me! My tormentors have their own issues, their own problems, most of them aren't Christian, etc. I'm blessed. My people are behind me. They've hired me an attorney. My mind is restored, which may explain why I am "mentally ill" (had probs since childhood...then I became so dull that no one took it seriously...). I can function in society and do college-level work. The Lord has seen fit to give me hope and a future, which is something He's particularly good at doing. I even have hair again, which is awesome.

 

[iLOVE]

A prayer for Christ_empowered,
Father, You are the giver of all life! You give life to my dreams, life to my relationships, and life to my mortal body. Today I choose to release the past and embrace the gift of life You have in store for my future. Father, thank You for loving me and orchestrating every detail of my life. Thank You for calling me and giving my life purpose. I choose to shake off the past; I choose to forgive those who have hurt me, and I choose to keep my eyes on You. Father, I receive Your Word today which is life, health and strength to me. I choose to close the door on fear by guarding what I say, what I listen to and what I dwell on. Fill me with Your love and faith as I meditate on Your Word in Jesus’ mighty name. Amen.

 

[iLOVE]

A prayer for Christ_empowered,
Father, You are the giver of all life! You give life to my dreams, life to my relationships, and life to my mortal body. Today I choose to release the past and embrace the gift of life You have in store for my future. Father, thank You for loving me and orchestrating every detail of my life. Thank You for calling me and giving my life purpose. I choose to shake off the past; I choose to forgive those who have hurt me, and I choose to keep my eyes on You. Father, I receive Your Word today which is life, health and strength to me. I choose to close the door on fear by guarding what I say, what I listen to and what I dwell on. Fill me with Your love and faith as I meditate on Your Word in Jesus’ mighty name. Amen.

So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. 2 Thessalonians 1:11 NLT

The Bible says, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed” (Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT).

 

[Christ_empowered]

yeah...the past doesn't haunt me near as much. Its just rough, when you're the pariah, so your past is thrown in your face ALL THE TIME (sorry for the screaming caps). I'm like...OK...I get it, really, I do...now...leave me alone, please.

Seriously. But, I appreciate everybody here. The prayers, the insights, mean a lot to me, honestly.

 

[Brother Mike]

yeah...the past doesn't haunt me near as much. Its just rough, when you're the pariah, so your past is thrown in your face ALL THE TIME (sorry for the screaming caps). I'm like...OK...I get it, really, I do...now...leave me alone, please.

Seriously. But, I appreciate everybody here. The prayers, the insights, mean a lot to me, honestly.

You speak a lot about physical appearance, but the outward man perishes day by day. It's what you put inside that connects you to the power of God. If all possible, forget what was, and look to who you are, and to become.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I just gotta move forward, honestly. The neighbors have been surprisingly quiet these past couple days, thank goodness. I have work to do at Liberty. I have lots of people here who help me out and pray for me, and I try to be helpful to them, too, when I can.

I keep praying for God to get people to move on and leave me alone. I realize now that a big step forward for me is to let the past die and move forward. I'm getting there, I promise (only by God' grace, of course).