Yes handy, Christmas is usually even more entertaining. We'll have to do this again in a few weeks. I'll have an even better story then, than the one I'm about to present, to which I'm sure no one can top. However, that's why I started this a week in advance, just to see.
My turkey disaster story was about seven years ago. It involves a turkey fryer, neighbors, and potentially unwanted guest.
My Thanksgivings are fairly calm. It's over the river and through the woods to my in-laws, a sweet devoted old couple who have earned the respect of family gatherings at their home. The women gather in the kitchen, and the men in the living room around the TV. ....not much new there.
However, on this particular occasion a gathering of less than proper society was taking place across the road at the "mullet estate" you might say. Seems Eddy was going to try his hand at cooking the family bird in one of them there new fancy frying devices.
To further introduce the art of German efficiency, the boys set themselves up a TV and sofa in the garage. That way they could watch the game, drink beer, smoke and cook that there bird right in the garage. I'm sure in their minds they where saying, "This is gone-be good" because in our minds we where saying the same thing.
Rather than tell what happen, let me just state a few ground rules when frying a turkey.
1. Do not fry your turkey inside. You may think the garage is outside, but it is an enclosed area. Try the driveway.
2. Heat the oil to about 300-350 any more will just exacerbate the next steep, so pay attention.
3. ALWAYS, and I can't stress this enough, ALWAYS make sure your bird the completely thawed. cool water/moister does not do well in hot oil.
4. If you do drop a half frozen bird into 350 deg plus oil, that hot oil will not stay contained within the device you are cooking. It will fly everywhere and not discriminate where it lands. Chances are, if you do this within an enclosed environment something will catch FIRE, and if that something is a sofa it's going to be difficult to put out. Chances are it will burn and catch the rest of your garage on fire as well.
You may think that putting out a fire with water from your garden house is a good idea, but putting out a grease fire with water is not. You see the oil does not mix with water, and so flaming oil does not get suffocated by water, it get's pushed by water; simply moves around and onto other flammable things like say...a four-wheeler, or an old pile of wood. Eventually it will catch dry-wall on fire.
I'm happy to say that no one was injured physically. It's a good thing that the fire department works on Thanksgiving. But, Eddies garage and part of the upstairs room over the garage did not fair well that day.
I felt guilty for watching this redneck travesty take place, yes guilty on two levels. 1. for laughing and 2 for not having purchased ticket. That's exactly what I said after being needled in the gut to the words "you should be ashamed" from my lovely wife.
Never the less the good people on Quail Hollow rd where not going to let their misfit neighbors not have a proper Thanksgiving.
The boys in my clan where told to stop laughing and go check on them. It's an acre walk just to get to the house, but when we got there we where met with other neighbors for the same reasons, and Eddie, his son, brothers and an old man they called pops were no worse for wear. The had pretty much brushed it off knowing they had the skills to fix everything and keep most of the insurance money. Their ladies where not as amused.
With their side dishes intact, all that was missing was a bird for the Mullets. There are about 12 houses on Quail Hollow rd, and each seemed to have a representative present at the scene. No one wanted to host the Mullets I'm sure, but everyone seemed to have the same idea to pull a little turkey from their tables to make a full bird for a family that usually get's little more than a disproving glare from others.
So, that's what we did and as far as I know Darleen Mullet (
Not her real name BTW) still has my mother in-law's good casserole dishware from when we brought them that bird and she has yet to return it, but that's the type of people they are, and in a few more hours.....I'm going to hear this story again.
Happy Thanksgiving everybody.
