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Unbelieving husband left me

Starr

Starr

Member
My unbelieving husband left me. The word says to let them go in peace and I have. But I've chosen to believe for my marriage and use this time to give myself back to jesus.
I just don't know what to do while I'm waiting I have no family or friends or anyone or anything. Just work.
How do I build a life ?
 
When an unbelieving spouse walks away from the commitment of marriage, let go. Continue to pray for him.

And should he request a divorce, you let go. Yes, it's your marriage and you are sincere about wanting to keep the marriage going. But is he says it's over, then it's over.

In the meanwhile, focus on reading/studying Scripture. Find a church and attend. You'll eventually make friends there, but let the friendships develop naturally and slowly.

Also in the meanwhile, as you experience the various emotions of the grieving process, turn those emotions over to our Lord to help you through. Divorce is much like death, only sometimes I think it is worse. Only, with death, there is a finality. With divorce, there will remain the potential of seeing your former spouse or members of his family or some of his friends, and initially, the pain from the divorce will surface anew.

Above all, embrace the fact that you are a child of our Lord God. He's knows your value; He knows you are worthy. Do not internalize at all any thought that the end of marriage has made you a 'failure.' You're not. After all, our Lord God loves you incredibly, and His grace and mercy embrace you!

Our Lord will keep you and see you through these days, Starr.
 
I've already accepted that I have to let go. I'll just never not hope for reconciliation. Love doesn't hold another hostage and I refuse to attempt to manipulate him into staying by refusing divorce. Sorry if I wasn't clear about that.
 
It's not that easy to go back to church I've tried very hard but I don't interact with anyone at all anymore unless I have to for work. I'm pretty messed up after what I allowed to happen by choosing to run after the wrong things. I'm terrified to even leave the house anymore let alone go to church. I guess I need counseling.
 
I didn't think at all you were considering using manipulation to bring him back or to make him stay. Letting go is sometimes easier to do when the spouse isn't around .... it's much rougher to do if the spouse comes back to pack up the rest of his belongings or to talk about the divorce.

Counseling? Perhaps. You need our Lord's help more. You haven't forgiven yourself for some of the past choices, and you're beating yourself up because of them. Hindsight may be 20/20 ...but the future is a precious gift from our Lord. I'd rather focus on the precious gift from our Lord :sohappy

If you're not comfortable attending a church right now, there's nothing wrong with listening to different church services on your local radio, or watching services on tv. You also have us now, here at CFnet :wave2 This alone is a great first step!
 
About some of those choices you made.....

You made them because you believed in your marriage. You loved your husband, and you selflessly placed him as the head of your household. You are to be commended for being a Christian wife, even if your husband wasn't a Christian!
 
Cling to Jesus is the best we can do when things go wrong (and when everything is fine as well). Please don't be afraid to attend church. Don't be afraid of what other people may think. The devil may try to prevent you from attending church by instilling fear and guilt, but you shouldn't give in to that. If there is some sin that bothers you, repent and move on. I found out myself that if I am afraid to do something that would actually benefit me spiritually, I should do it.
 
Starr said:
My unbelieving husband left me. The word says to let them go in peace and I have. But I've chosen to believe for my marriage and use this time to give myself back to jesus.
I just don't know what to do while I'm waiting I have no family or friends or anyone or anything. Just work.
How do I build a life ?
Click to expand...
So sorry to hear. It seems as though your head and heart are in the right place. At the risk of sounding trite or cliché with the Christianese, truly the best thing to do is just pray and seek God. If you are not part of a church, now would be a good time to find one, although it wouldn't hurt to just be alone for a while either while you seek him.
 
A trusted friend of mine once told me that I was blessed to be single. At the time I couldn't really see what he meant but tucked away his thought to chew on it and think about later. He pointed out that the world is in such a tumult -- that so many things are turned upside down these days. He told me that married men (and women) have to take greater care for the things of the world than they would if they were single.

I understood him to say that what I should do was to re-dedicate myself and commit to a fuller pursuit of the Lord. I was bluntly told to pray more. "Put your time to good use, eschew evil, pursue God with all your heart." Yes. My friend talked like that. I remember smiling when he used the word "eschew". And it sounded like good advice.

What I did not understand was how much of a baby I was. There is a Scripture that has since found a place in my heart. We are to quiet ourselves before Him and to accept our place with thankfulness. The way the bible says it is to to become like a baby weaned. (Psalm 131) That was the thought of a humbled king who came before the Lord and listened. King David, a man after God's own heart.

It is my hope that eventually it may be revealed that by His spirit I have been quieted and have moved toward peace; that He is my King and that I might rightly call Him Lord. At least that's what I think my trusted friend meant.
 
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