Undercover Agents for God

[Vince]

Folks, this sounds like a comedy thread, because it is, but it's true nonetheless. Over the decades, I have encountered people who believe that they are undercover agents for God. Their assignment is to sneak into churches and spread some goofy doctrine.

Like all undercover agents, they are authorized to lie and practice other forms of deceit (That's what undercover agents do, you know), and any other sins that are necessary are also all right, because God authorized them to commit those sins.

This is going to take a few posts, but any comments or similar tales are appreciated.

 

[ProphetMark]

I don't know about humans lying with God's authorization, but for a similar tale, see 2 Chronicles 18 v 18-22

 

[Vince]

I don't know about humans lying with God's authorization, but for a similar tale, see 2 Chronicles 18 v 18-22

Good point, and I appreciate it. Evil King Ahab summoned a group of false prophets to announce that God was blessing Ahab's plan. Micaiah, a true prophet, was brought there (possibly against his wishes) and repeated the words of the false prophets. Ahab angrily demanded the real word of the Lord, which Micaiah then gave him.

Unusual to say the least. God knew that Ahab knew that the words of the false prophets did not come from God. Micaiah confronted Ahab with this knowledge, forcing Ahab to acknowledge publicly that the words of the false prophets did not come from God. This protected the reputation of God and His word when the prophesies did not come true.

At no point did God or Micaiah deceive anyone. God was teaching Ahab, and Ahab rejected what he had learned.

 

[Vince]

More than ten years ago, I had a lengthy talk with an undercover agent. She would join churches, lying that she believed the church's doctrines, and then would start trying to convert the church to her current way of thinking. She found herself rejected in every case, but she often succeeded in causing problems before she was run off. She would go into a rage when describing her greatest enemies, the "hate-filled fundamentalists" who had shown her from Scripture that her doctrine and conduct were wrong.

It became steadily harder for her to infiltrate churches, but she did have two notable adventures...

 

[Vince]

I want to tell the second of her two adventures first. She was a former Catholic, who had graduated from a Catholic high school. Her reputation had spread among the Christian churches, and she had a hard time infiltrating them, but the Catholic church didn't know too much about her. She went to the priest, lied that she was a Catholic, and soon became a Sunday School teacher (Yes, some Catholic churches do have Sunday School). She assured her friends and family that she did not believe various Catholic doctrines, while continuing to pretend that she was a Catholic.

She was given a strictly-enforced curriculum to teach, but she added her hatred of fundamentalists to the lessons. Eventually, the Catholic church ran her off.

 

[Vince]

This is the adventure she described to me.

One church would set up Sunday School classes to last for one year. The elders appointed the teachers, who had to promise not to quit. At the end of the year, all the Sunday School classes were dissolved, new classes were formed, and teachers were assigned.

The undercover agent came up with a plan. She applied for membership, lying that she believed the church's doctrines and would obey the church's rules, and they accepted her. She immediately began doing all the humble tasks she could find. She scrubbed the toilets, washed dishes, swept floors, etc., and really was a genuine asset to the church.

As the time drew near to organize new Sunday School classes, she went to the elders and demanded that they give her an adult class...

 

[Vince]

The undercover agent quoted various Scriptures showing that servants are the best Christians. As a servant (and a good one) she had proved that the most influential class in the Sunday School should go to her. She demanded that she be assigned to teach an adult class.

I have to do some "second-guessing" here. The elders probably knew about her track record of infiltrating churches and causing problems. They also realized that she had deceived them, and that her service had only been a tool of deceit. Anyway, they turned her down...

 

[Vince]

The undercover agent was trying not to cry as she told me the story of how the church had rejected her as an adult Sunday School teacher. She insisted that all the service she had done had proved that she should get the class.

After thinking it over, I advised her to continue rendering service, as she had been doing, and that would make her a valuable member of the church. She responded by bursting into a rage against hate-filled fundamentalists, but at least she was polite enough not to include me in her list.