- Dec 20, 2019
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Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
Demetrius was eleven years old when his mom found him unconscious on the floor with an empty bottle of pills next to him. He had gone downstairs to play video games after his homework was done, as he did every weekend. However, when she had called for him to come upstairs for pizza, he never arrived. Now, as his mom sat in the ER waiting for the doctor to tell her if Demetrius would recover from his attempted suicide, her mind spun. Were there risk factors and warning signs of childhood suicide that she had missed with her son? What could she have done to help prevent this?
Most parents are terrified at the thought that their child might contemplate, or worse, attempt suicide. It’s a difficult thing to acknowledge that our children struggle, and we want to do our best to protect them from suffering. However, Jesus tells us in John 16:33, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
While we do trust Jesus with our lives and our children’s lives, we also must recognize and understand that they will face trials, temptations, and difficulties. God was intentional when He gave us our children, and when He made us their parents. He has put us in a position to teach and guide them, and help them through the difficult times, even mental health challenges, and He promised to be with us no matter what.
However, it is important that we recognize when our children are facing those difficult times. According to the American Medical Association, more than 75% of parents are not aware that their child has thought of suicide.
Suicide is the eighth leading cause of death for children between five and ten years old and the second leading cause of death for children age ten and older. As rates of childhood suicide continue to climb, we need to give our children the best possible opportunities to overcome their emotions, fears, and challenges. We also need to be diligent about watching for risk factors and warning signs of childhood suicide.
Children who have encountered certain experiences in their young lives are at increased risk for childhood suicide. It is important to note that having one of these risk factors does not mean your child is contemplating suicide. However, the presence of one or more of these risk factors does mean that you as a parents need to be on the lookout for warning signs. To prevent childhood suicide, we must be proactive.
The following are possible risk factors for childhood suicide:
Children and teenagers are more likely to attempt suicide if they:
If your child has any of the above risk factors, or other issues that you believe may be a risk factor, be proactive and watch for warning signs that they may be thinking of suicide. How you address those thoughts and warning signs may save your child’s life.
Studies show that four out of five children who attempt suicide showed clear warning signs beforehand. Warning signs of suicide in children may include:
Not all of these signs will be present in a child who is contemplating suicide. There are occasions where a child shows no signs before making an attempt. However, if you notice any of the above warning signs, especially in combination with each other, be vigilant. Err on the side of caution. Take these warning signs seriously and act right away.
Take the Assessment!
Discovering that your child is at risk or is exhibiting warning signs of suicide can be unsettling for a parent. You may feel hopeless and helpless, fearing for their life. While you want to trust that they are in God’s hands and that He will protect them, you know that your child has free will and may cause themself harm.
Remember that God loves your child beyond measure. He has given you the blessing and opportunity to help them, guide them, share His love with them, and help them navigate the difficult moments. You have the opportunity to be His voice, His hands, and His feet.
Chuck Swindoll wrote, “The longer I live, the more convinced I become that life is ten percent what happens to us and ninety percent how we respond to it.” Whether your child has any risk factors or not, it is important to teach them a growth mindset and how to overcome the difficult moments they’ll face in life. Stay involved in your child’s life, connecting with them as often as you can, and keeping an open line of communication.
If you notice any of the warning signs listed above, take action immediately. First, in most cases, sit down with your child and have a heart-to-heart discussion. If your child tends to be more withdrawn, you might find that a “side-by-side” conversation while taking a walk together, might be less threatening and may engender more transparency. Studies show that asking does not increase suicides or suicidal thoughts. In fact, talking about suicide may decrease suicidal thoughts. Ask them direct and open-ended questions, and listen carefully to their responses.
If your child does tell you that they are thinking of suicide, you need to next determine:
If you believe your child is an imminent threat to themselves, call 988 – The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Or, if they have a plan, remove or disable the lethal means they plan to use. Do not leave them alone or without supervision. Help them connect with a licensed counselor for long-term help and guidance. You can visit Focus on the Family’s Christian Counselors Network website (www.christiancounselorsnetwork.com) to find vetted Christian counselors that might be in your area. If your child has actually begun an act of suicide, call 911 immediately.
As a parent, facing the risks and warning signs of child suicide can be frightening and feel overwhelming. But remember that you are not alone and there are resources to help you navigate these difficult moments and conversations. God has an amazing plan for your child’s life.
The post Warning Signs and Risk Factors of Childhood Suicide appeared first on Focus on the Family.
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Demetrius was eleven years old when his mom found him unconscious on the floor with an empty bottle of pills next to him. He had gone downstairs to play video games after his homework was done, as he did every weekend. However, when she had called for him to come upstairs for pizza, he never arrived. Now, as his mom sat in the ER waiting for the doctor to tell her if Demetrius would recover from his attempted suicide, her mind spun. Were there risk factors and warning signs of childhood suicide that she had missed with her son? What could she have done to help prevent this?
Childhood Suicide
Most parents are terrified at the thought that their child might contemplate, or worse, attempt suicide. It’s a difficult thing to acknowledge that our children struggle, and we want to do our best to protect them from suffering. However, Jesus tells us in John 16:33, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
While we do trust Jesus with our lives and our children’s lives, we also must recognize and understand that they will face trials, temptations, and difficulties. God was intentional when He gave us our children, and when He made us their parents. He has put us in a position to teach and guide them, and help them through the difficult times, even mental health challenges, and He promised to be with us no matter what.
Childhood Suicide Statistics
However, it is important that we recognize when our children are facing those difficult times. According to the American Medical Association, more than 75% of parents are not aware that their child has thought of suicide.
Suicide is the eighth leading cause of death for children between five and ten years old and the second leading cause of death for children age ten and older. As rates of childhood suicide continue to climb, we need to give our children the best possible opportunities to overcome their emotions, fears, and challenges. We also need to be diligent about watching for risk factors and warning signs of childhood suicide.
Understanding the Risk Factors of Childhood Suicide
Children who have encountered certain experiences in their young lives are at increased risk for childhood suicide. It is important to note that having one of these risk factors does not mean your child is contemplating suicide. However, the presence of one or more of these risk factors does mean that you as a parents need to be on the lookout for warning signs. To prevent childhood suicide, we must be proactive.
The following are possible risk factors for childhood suicide:
- Witnessing or experiencing violence, domestic violence, or child abuse
- Experiencing life-threatening events
- Traumatic loss
- Drug or alcohol abuse, either by a parent or themselves
- Death of a loved one or role model (especially by suicide)
- Chronic pain or health issues
- Traumatic brain injury or concussion
- Mental health issues
- Divorce of parents
- Rejection
- Bullying
- Impulsivity
- Easy access to lethal tools (such as firearms, prescription drugs, poisons, etc.)
Children and teenagers are more likely to attempt suicide if they:
- Have made a previous attempt
- Know someone who died by suicide
- Have physical or mental health issues
- Have substance abuse issues
- Are bullied or discriminated against
- Have been molested or assaulted
- Are having problems at school
- Are under extreme stress or have gone through a stressful experience
- Difficulties feeling comfortable in one’s own biological body
If your child has any of the above risk factors, or other issues that you believe may be a risk factor, be proactive and watch for warning signs that they may be thinking of suicide. How you address those thoughts and warning signs may save your child’s life.
Warning Signs of Childhood Suicide
Studies show that four out of five children who attempt suicide showed clear warning signs beforehand. Warning signs of suicide in children may include:
- Threatening, talking, or joking about suicide. (For example, they may say “I’d be better off dead” or “life would be so much easier for you if I wasn’t around)
- Writing or drawing about death, or being preoccupied with content about death.
- Giving away their belongings
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Outbursts of anger, violence, or hostility
- Risky and impulsive behavior
- Doing drugs or drinking alcohol
- Changes in sleep patterns
- Changes in appetite
- Depression (this is the number one cause of suicide)
- Anxiety
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Neglecting hygiene or appearance
- Sudden changes in behavior, attitude, or social habits
- Expressions of intense guilt or hopelessness
- Problems at school or declining grades
- Difficulty concentrating and paying attention
- Increased boredom
- Loss of interest in favorite activities
- Suicide notes or diary entries
- Discussing bizarre and unsettling thoughts
- Verbal hints (for example, saying, “In case something happens to me”)
- Sudden interest in tools for suicide and how to obtain them (such as firearms, prescription medication, poisons, knives, etc.)
Not all of these signs will be present in a child who is contemplating suicide. There are occasions where a child shows no signs before making an attempt. However, if you notice any of the above warning signs, especially in combination with each other, be vigilant. Err on the side of caution. Take these warning signs seriously and act right away.
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Navigating Childhood Suicide Risks and Warning Signs
Discovering that your child is at risk or is exhibiting warning signs of suicide can be unsettling for a parent. You may feel hopeless and helpless, fearing for their life. While you want to trust that they are in God’s hands and that He will protect them, you know that your child has free will and may cause themself harm.
Remember that God loves your child beyond measure. He has given you the blessing and opportunity to help them, guide them, share His love with them, and help them navigate the difficult moments. You have the opportunity to be His voice, His hands, and His feet.
Helping Your Child
Chuck Swindoll wrote, “The longer I live, the more convinced I become that life is ten percent what happens to us and ninety percent how we respond to it.” Whether your child has any risk factors or not, it is important to teach them a growth mindset and how to overcome the difficult moments they’ll face in life. Stay involved in your child’s life, connecting with them as often as you can, and keeping an open line of communication.
When Immediate Action Is Needed
If you notice any of the warning signs listed above, take action immediately. First, in most cases, sit down with your child and have a heart-to-heart discussion. If your child tends to be more withdrawn, you might find that a “side-by-side” conversation while taking a walk together, might be less threatening and may engender more transparency. Studies show that asking does not increase suicides or suicidal thoughts. In fact, talking about suicide may decrease suicidal thoughts. Ask them direct and open-ended questions, and listen carefully to their responses.
You might ask:
- I’ve noticed that you have been sleeping a lot more lately. (One possible warning sign) What might be going on inside you?
- What is causing you to feel so sad?
- Where are these negative feelings coming from?
- What is causing these changes?
- What is causing you to talk so much about suicide?
- Tell me exactly what would have to change for you to feel better?
- Are you thinking about harming or killing yourself?
- If your child answers with “I don’t know to these questions, you might say, “I care too much about you to let an ‘I don’t know’ suffice for an answer.”
If your child does tell you that they are thinking of suicide, you need to next determine:
- Do they have a specific plan?
- What is the lethality of the plan?
- Are the means to follow through with the plan available and accessible?
- Are people around who would help or stop them?
If you believe your child is an imminent threat to themselves, call 988 – The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Or, if they have a plan, remove or disable the lethal means they plan to use. Do not leave them alone or without supervision. Help them connect with a licensed counselor for long-term help and guidance. You can visit Focus on the Family’s Christian Counselors Network website (www.christiancounselorsnetwork.com) to find vetted Christian counselors that might be in your area. If your child has actually begun an act of suicide, call 911 immediately.
As a parent, facing the risks and warning signs of child suicide can be frightening and feel overwhelming. But remember that you are not alone and there are resources to help you navigate these difficult moments and conversations. God has an amazing plan for your child’s life.
Resources
- The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org
- Call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
- Text HOME to 741741 to access the Crisis Text Line.
- To talk to or find a counselor, visit https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/
- Alive to Thrive: A Biblical Guide to Preventing Teen Suicide
- Additional Resources
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