j,
I only know what I am given. I have accepted Christ into my heart and through this devotion, have developed a 'personal relationship' with the Father, God. I am a sinner and will be till the day I die. These HAVE been forgiven though and as I 'grow' through my walk, I will sin less and less. It took me over thirty years to become the sinner that I was when I 'came to the truth' and it is rediculous to think that it will change IMMEDIATELY. But I can say this without hessitation; I am NOT the person that I was 'before' through NO deeds or understanding of 'my own'. For, if it had been left up to me, I would STILL be heading down the SAME path that I was 'before'. 'I' did NOT change that path. It WAS changed for me. All I did was 'ask' for guidance.
'Born again', 'Christian' 'son of God', I hessitate to offer these for I have witnessed so many that use these to 'separate' themselves from their neighbors. Yes, I consider myself to be 'born again'. What's MORE is that I KNOW that Christ lives within me and it is not 'I' anymore, but He that has offered me the path that I follow. Through Him I have come to know God Himself. For the love that God has for the Son has been offered to me as well. For the knowledge that I too am a 'child of God' has become manifest in my soul and of this there is NO doubt. I am NOT worthy in my mind or heart, but that has changed NOTHING or hindered the relationship in the least. If ANYTHING, I believe that it has allowed it to blossom even MORE.
Where before there was NOTHING in my life but 'hate', much has now been replaced with love. Where there was strife, much has been replaced with peace. Where there was ENVY, now sorrow and empathy. And where there was NO understanding of the 'truth', now there IS wisdom that is NOT of mine own.
Often when I speak, it is as if 'someone else' is 'speaking' through me. I marvel at times at the words that come from my mouth in that these are as a foreign language at times. Things that I would never have dreamed possible coming from these lips or from this heart.
If only one could have known me then and been able to witness the changes that have taken place since, there could be NO doubt in ones mind or heart that these changes were NOT of mine own. Couldn't have done it myself. An impossibility, for the concepts of God and love were FAR removed from my spirit. For you see, I had a father that I loved dearly and didn't even realize it then. He led me like a sheep and I followed 'religiously'. Didn't even know his name, but he knew mine intimately.
I KNOW exactly 'who' it was that I followed now and looking back realize just how intimately I knew him. His name is Satan and he WAS INDEED the father that I worshiped. Unknowing at times, but aware nevertheless. And I followed him rather deeply. His will WAS my will and he rewarded me proper for what I gave him.
So, you see, there is MORE here than may meet the eye. Perhaps my understanding was wrought from a different anvil than most others. For I am now WELL aware of MANY of the guises that are used to lead those that follow WRONGLY astray. And am ALL the MORE thankful that I have been freed from the bonds that I was once under. What a LOVING God we have indeed. That would take one such as myself, HIS ENEMY, and offer His love and His strengnth to one such as that. AMAZING GRACE. And I for one can testify to it. And WILL with every bit of energy that I am given.
Pay attention J, there is MUCH to be offered. I KNOW this for I KNOW 'HOW' to 'receive' it. With suppication and MUCH prayer. Knock and it SHALL be OPENED. ASK and it SHALL be RECEIVED. But, beware, therefore, for the amount GIVEN, the more IS expected. And the closer one gets, the MORE temptation they WILL receive.
Most are EASY targets for the 'tempter' for theirs are SIMPLE wishes. The closer one gets, the more complicated their wishes and the more subtle the 'tempter'. The closer one gets the MORE they MUST wear the COMPLETE armor EVERY MOMENT for Satan is NOT one to be 'trifled' with. His power is EMENSE and WAY greater than our own. NO, not even CLOSE to the Father's, but potent indeed and to be wary of. And it is wise to realize that 'without' the power of God to resist him, we are an EASY mark.
These things I have learned the 'hard' way. Through Much guilt and strife have I traveled to get where I am today. And I am NOTHING now other than what is 'given'. For when I was 'what' I was through mine own efforts, I was MUCH LESS THAN NOTHING. Now I am at least aware. There IS truth to be gained through the Word and MUCH MUCH MORE beyond it. Paul spoke of it but even he was unable to fully describe it. It CAN be obtained but one MUST let go of their preconceived notions and the following of 'other men' to find it. Of this you may be assured. Don't trust me TRUST in the Word and leave the world to it's own.
Bless you Brother, and hope that you will participate in the thread that you suggested. It will be enlightening to those that approach it with an open mind and an open heart. The important thing is to 'follow' The Spirit rather than following other men. If one truly desires to KNOW the difference The Spirit WILL convict. Of this too you can be assured. All one MUST do is 'listen' to that which is offered and allow the discernment to come from the 'source' rather than those that would wisp one away on 'thier OWN journey'.
One thing that I hope that I can convey convincingly to ANY that would choose to follow the 'truth'. LOVE my friends. That IS the answer. And LOVE is GIVING, NOT taking. For there ARE many that will say, "I love this' or 'I love that', when the truth is that they ONLY love what IT offers. TRUE love is love that GIVES for the sake of GIVING and no other. THIS is TRUE love and the love that was offered by our Savior Jesus Christ when He was willing to give ALL for His love of HIS ENEMIES. Even those, ESPECIALLY those that were NAILING Him to the cross. For what did He offer EVEN THEM, 'Forgive them Father for they KNOW NOT what they do". WOW!! Can you imagine? Now THAT is LOVE. And THAT IS what it's ALL ABOUT. Learning 'what' this love 'TRULY' is and experiencing it. And THAT IS THE TRUTH to ANY and ALL who have truly known the Father through His Son who OFFERED us this EXAMPLE. Who WAS/IS, THIS EXAMPLE.
I know it's been a 'long one' but seldom does one even seem to care to ask. And with all the posting I do it seems prudent to allow others to learn at least a 'little' about myself and 'who' I am. Forgive me if I ramble, but I can rarely help it. For SO much has been given I feel compelled to tell it to ANY that will listen. God IS Good and I hope to reveal this to any and all that will 'hear it'.
MEC