- Dec 20, 2019
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Estimated reading time: 9 minutes
When it comes to conversations about where do babies come from, I’m sure we all have a funny story to share.
A few years ago, my daughters and I were strolling around Grandpa’s farm. We inspected the delicate blossoms on the apple trees, picked some dandelions, and touched the tiny blades of wheat just poking through the ground.
We also walked down to the pasture to watch the cattle graze. I was explaining something to the girls when I heard one of my daughters say, “Papa, look! Those cows are stacking.”
I chuckled, knowing that my daughter had no idea what was actually happening. In her mind, the cattle were playing. Still, the occasion allowed me to begin to explain the beauty of God’s creation and design to my children.
When my daughters saw the cows, I wasn’t explicit in my description or answer. I simply shared that both the bull and the cow were needed to make those delightful little calves frolicking in the grass. From there, I explained how the same is true for human families. We talked about the unique and important roles men and women play when it comes to creating a family.
Young children don’t need to know all the details. They do need to understand that men and women play essential but different roles in God’s plan for new life. This can be as simple as saying that daddies make mommies pregnant and mommies have babies.
Before my son was born, I had four chattering little girls in the house. Sometimes they would get confused and call me Mama. This was an opportunity for me to explain to them how I was different from Mama, but how both of us loved them and helped to bring them into the world.
They understood pregnancy. It was easy because as Mama was pregnant they were able to watch her belly grow during pregnancy. Then, they met their new brother after he was born. They were less sure about how Papa helped make the baby.
We talked about the sperm and egg joining together, but waited until they were older to explain how it all worked. “The Talk” isn’t a one-time conversation. It’s an ongoing discussion between children and parents that can begin when they’re very young and set the stage for a biblical understanding of sex.
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If you are a single parent, be prepared for challenging but innocent questions about a missing parent. See your child’s questions as opportunities to talk about life in a fallen world and our need for a Savior. All parents should readily acknowledge their insufficiencies and point children back to their heavenly Father, who loves them with everlasting love.
I’ve discovered that parenting is full of challenging conversations with my children. And teaching them about sex can feel awkward. Especially the question: Where do babies come from? Yet, there’s no one right time or one right way to begin these discussions. So I have tried to embrace each moment I get to teach my children a godly perspective on human sexuality.
In the younger ages and stages, basic is best. When talking with your kids about where babies come from, focus on their level of understanding. Discern what your kids are able to understand. Then, decide how you can use age-appropriate language and examples in your conversations. Here is what you can cover about this topic:
Talk to your children about God’s beautiful plan for humans. Discuss His formation of the first family—Adam and Eve—and how it was good. Even though much in life falls short of God’s design, teach about God’s ideal and emphasize His grace and forgiveness.
God gave men and women different bodies that work together to create a baby. Talk about the gift of being able to help create a new life.
God made women’s bodies to protect and nurture a developing baby. Emphasize the joy and beauty connected with caring for a baby in the womb. Read Psalm 139:13-14 together and talk about how God’s care for humans begins in the womb.
Our culture challenges the most basic foundations of family and human life. Help your child understand God’s design and the value of both men and women in creating and nurturing a child.
Gather resources that show how different animal parents take care of their young. You can use children’s books or movies to help facilitate the conversation. Talk about how both the animal mommies and daddies are needed to create the baby and their roles in caring for their young.
Next, talk about human mommies and daddies. Reinforce that it takes both a daddy and a mommy to have a baby. Then, spend some time drawing pictures with your child that show different stages of your family. Drawings could depict Mommy and Daddy getting married, Mommy with a baby bump, Mommy and Daddy bringing a baby home from the hospital and a family picture with multiple children. Talk about some of the ways moms and dads care for their children.
A natural follow-up question to where do babies come from is how are babies born, according to writer and mommy Monica Schleicher.
Conversations about babies in mommies’ bellies are pretty commonplace in our home. After all, my 4-year-old, Isabelle, has had a pregnant mommy most of her life. She already has a younger brother and sister, and we have a fourth baby on the way.
As Isabelle has grown and matured, the nature of our chats has changed, however. When she was expecting her brother at age 1, all the information she needed was that her mommy had a baby in her belly and we’d go to the hospital to get the baby out.
At age 3, Isabelle was a lot more curious about the pregnancy process. That time, we concentrated on talking about how God was forming and growing her new sister inside of Mommy. Isabelle enjoyed seeing the baby when we got our ultrasounds and feeling the baby kick. As delivery time approached, we told Isabelle the doctor was going to help get the baby out. She was satisfied by that answer.
Now that Isabelle’s a little older, I felt we were ready to build on the knowledge she already had. It was only a matter of time before she would ask exactly how the doctor helps deliver the baby. Since I wanted to be able to control the when and where of that conversation, I decided on a proactive approach to the topic of how babies are born.
I talked to Joann Condie, a registered nurse and licensed professional counselor, to gain insight on how to best carry out this conversation. Joann affirmed that it’s a wise choice for parents to have “sex education” talks with their kids starting at an early age.
“Lay the groundwork early, teaching them that God’s plan is good and pure and wonderful,” she says. “This way you’re the one giving them their first impression about sex and their bodies. You don’t want them to glean a negative message from their friends or TV.”
When it came to having the actual talk, Joann suggested reviewing what the child already knows so everyone is on the same page. She also encouraged me to use correct terminology and to keep things light, conversational and in context of God’s beautiful plan.
When I had the opportunity to broach the topic with Isabelle, I started our time together by reviewing what she already knew about marriage: God made two types of people, men and women. When a man and woman love each other and get married, they promise to God and each other that they’ll be together for as long as they are alive. Sometimes God gives them the gift of a baby, who begins to develop inside of Mommy.
Next, I gently introduced the new material using the advice Joann gave me.
“Sweetie, have you ever wondered how babies come out of Mommy?” I asked her. “Do you want me to explain it to you?”
“Sure!” she said.
So I shared with her that God placed a special pocket inside Mommy’s belly called a uterus. The uterus is a warm, soft place where the baby develops and grows. Eventually, when the baby is done growing, the uterus pushes the baby into a special tunnel called the birth canal. That tunnel takes the baby to the outside of the mommy through the vagina, which expands to allow the baby’s exit.
I explained that’s how she and her younger brother entered the world — but the story with her sister was different. That time, the doctor thought it was best to make a special cut on Mommy’s belly and uterus to get to the baby. “That’s called a C-section,” I said. “That’s why Mommy had that boo-boo on her belly.”
The great thing about having this conversation with Isabelle was how normal it all was. As a preschooler, Isabelle didn’t think it was awkward to learn about the delivery process — it was just interesting for her. I know we’ll have to review all the information a few more times before Isabelle really understands and internalizes it, but this was as much as she needed to know for now.
These special times together are part of a lifelong process for my daughter, where she’ll learn the mechanics of how things work and God’s wonderful design for sex. More than that, however, it’s a chance for me to help her take in this knowledge through the lens of a Christian worldview.
In addition, these early talks help show Isabelle that Mommy and Daddy are the best source of information for how babies are born and other topics, and that we’re always ready to talk.
For young children, the world is brimming with wonder. They may find the story of babies being delivered by storks just as believable as the reality of God using mommies and daddies to create new life. But teaching them the truth about where babies come from can set a firm foundation you can build upon throughout their childhood.
“Where do babies come from?” For some parents, it’s a question that you might never feel ready to answer. It might feel awkward. And that’s okay. But remember that your child is exploring the world for the first time. Your children don’t always feel shame or embarrassment in the same way as you.
Approach these conversations with grace, understanding, and patience. Use age-appropriate language and examples with your children. Use their questions to guide the conversation as well. You know your child best. Prioritize honesty to help your child develop a strong foundation for their healthy sexual development surrounding topics like pregnancy, sex, and puberty.
The post Where Do Babies Come From? appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...
When it comes to conversations about where do babies come from, I’m sure we all have a funny story to share.
A few years ago, my daughters and I were strolling around Grandpa’s farm. We inspected the delicate blossoms on the apple trees, picked some dandelions, and touched the tiny blades of wheat just poking through the ground.
We also walked down to the pasture to watch the cattle graze. I was explaining something to the girls when I heard one of my daughters say, “Papa, look! Those cows are stacking.”
I chuckled, knowing that my daughter had no idea what was actually happening. In her mind, the cattle were playing. Still, the occasion allowed me to begin to explain the beauty of God’s creation and design to my children.
How to answer the question: where do babies come from?
When my daughters saw the cows, I wasn’t explicit in my description or answer. I simply shared that both the bull and the cow were needed to make those delightful little calves frolicking in the grass. From there, I explained how the same is true for human families. We talked about the unique and important roles men and women play when it comes to creating a family.
Young children don’t need to know all the details. They do need to understand that men and women play essential but different roles in God’s plan for new life. This can be as simple as saying that daddies make mommies pregnant and mommies have babies.
Use each opportunity
Before my son was born, I had four chattering little girls in the house. Sometimes they would get confused and call me Mama. This was an opportunity for me to explain to them how I was different from Mama, but how both of us loved them and helped to bring them into the world.
They understood pregnancy. It was easy because as Mama was pregnant they were able to watch her belly grow during pregnancy. Then, they met their new brother after he was born. They were less sure about how Papa helped make the baby.
We talked about the sperm and egg joining together, but waited until they were older to explain how it all worked. “The Talk” isn’t a one-time conversation. It’s an ongoing discussion between children and parents that can begin when they’re very young and set the stage for a biblical understanding of sex.
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A Biblical response to where do babies come from
If you are a single parent, be prepared for challenging but innocent questions about a missing parent. See your child’s questions as opportunities to talk about life in a fallen world and our need for a Savior. All parents should readily acknowledge their insufficiencies and point children back to their heavenly Father, who loves them with everlasting love.
I’ve discovered that parenting is full of challenging conversations with my children. And teaching them about sex can feel awkward. Especially the question: Where do babies come from? Yet, there’s no one right time or one right way to begin these discussions. So I have tried to embrace each moment I get to teach my children a godly perspective on human sexuality.
Talking to toddlers
In the younger ages and stages, basic is best. When talking with your kids about where babies come from, focus on their level of understanding. Discern what your kids are able to understand. Then, decide how you can use age-appropriate language and examples in your conversations. Here is what you can cover about this topic:
1. God made families and called them very good
Talk to your children about God’s beautiful plan for humans. Discuss His formation of the first family—Adam and Eve—and how it was good. Even though much in life falls short of God’s design, teach about God’s ideal and emphasize His grace and forgiveness.
2. God uses daddies and mommies to create babies
God gave men and women different bodies that work together to create a baby. Talk about the gift of being able to help create a new life.
3. Mommies get pregnant
God made women’s bodies to protect and nurture a developing baby. Emphasize the joy and beauty connected with caring for a baby in the womb. Read Psalm 139:13-14 together and talk about how God’s care for humans begins in the womb.
4. A mommy and daddy are both needed to make a baby
Our culture challenges the most basic foundations of family and human life. Help your child understand God’s design and the value of both men and women in creating and nurturing a child.
Other answers for “Where do babies come from?”
Gather resources that show how different animal parents take care of their young. You can use children’s books or movies to help facilitate the conversation. Talk about how both the animal mommies and daddies are needed to create the baby and their roles in caring for their young.
Next, talk about human mommies and daddies. Reinforce that it takes both a daddy and a mommy to have a baby. Then, spend some time drawing pictures with your child that show different stages of your family. Drawings could depict Mommy and Daddy getting married, Mommy with a baby bump, Mommy and Daddy bringing a baby home from the hospital and a family picture with multiple children. Talk about some of the ways moms and dads care for their children.
How are babies born
A natural follow-up question to where do babies come from is how are babies born, according to writer and mommy Monica Schleicher.
Conversations about babies in mommies’ bellies are pretty commonplace in our home. After all, my 4-year-old, Isabelle, has had a pregnant mommy most of her life. She already has a younger brother and sister, and we have a fourth baby on the way.
As Isabelle has grown and matured, the nature of our chats has changed, however. When she was expecting her brother at age 1, all the information she needed was that her mommy had a baby in her belly and we’d go to the hospital to get the baby out.
At age 3, Isabelle was a lot more curious about the pregnancy process. That time, we concentrated on talking about how God was forming and growing her new sister inside of Mommy. Isabelle enjoyed seeing the baby when we got our ultrasounds and feeling the baby kick. As delivery time approached, we told Isabelle the doctor was going to help get the baby out. She was satisfied by that answer.
Now that Isabelle’s a little older, I felt we were ready to build on the knowledge she already had. It was only a matter of time before she would ask exactly how the doctor helps deliver the baby. Since I wanted to be able to control the when and where of that conversation, I decided on a proactive approach to the topic of how babies are born.
Be proactive
I talked to Joann Condie, a registered nurse and licensed professional counselor, to gain insight on how to best carry out this conversation. Joann affirmed that it’s a wise choice for parents to have “sex education” talks with their kids starting at an early age.
“Lay the groundwork early, teaching them that God’s plan is good and pure and wonderful,” she says. “This way you’re the one giving them their first impression about sex and their bodies. You don’t want them to glean a negative message from their friends or TV.”
When it came to having the actual talk, Joann suggested reviewing what the child already knows so everyone is on the same page. She also encouraged me to use correct terminology and to keep things light, conversational and in context of God’s beautiful plan.
When I had the opportunity to broach the topic with Isabelle, I started our time together by reviewing what she already knew about marriage: God made two types of people, men and women. When a man and woman love each other and get married, they promise to God and each other that they’ll be together for as long as they are alive. Sometimes God gives them the gift of a baby, who begins to develop inside of Mommy.
Give an explanation
Next, I gently introduced the new material using the advice Joann gave me.
“Sweetie, have you ever wondered how babies come out of Mommy?” I asked her. “Do you want me to explain it to you?”
“Sure!” she said.
So I shared with her that God placed a special pocket inside Mommy’s belly called a uterus. The uterus is a warm, soft place where the baby develops and grows. Eventually, when the baby is done growing, the uterus pushes the baby into a special tunnel called the birth canal. That tunnel takes the baby to the outside of the mommy through the vagina, which expands to allow the baby’s exit.
I explained that’s how she and her younger brother entered the world — but the story with her sister was different. That time, the doctor thought it was best to make a special cut on Mommy’s belly and uterus to get to the baby. “That’s called a C-section,” I said. “That’s why Mommy had that boo-boo on her belly.”
The great thing about having this conversation with Isabelle was how normal it all was. As a preschooler, Isabelle didn’t think it was awkward to learn about the delivery process — it was just interesting for her. I know we’ll have to review all the information a few more times before Isabelle really understands and internalizes it, but this was as much as she needed to know for now.
Final thoughts on how babies are born
These special times together are part of a lifelong process for my daughter, where she’ll learn the mechanics of how things work and God’s wonderful design for sex. More than that, however, it’s a chance for me to help her take in this knowledge through the lens of a Christian worldview.
In addition, these early talks help show Isabelle that Mommy and Daddy are the best source of information for how babies are born and other topics, and that we’re always ready to talk.
For young children, the world is brimming with wonder. They may find the story of babies being delivered by storks just as believable as the reality of God using mommies and daddies to create new life. But teaching them the truth about where babies come from can set a firm foundation you can build upon throughout their childhood.
“Where do babies come from?” For some parents, it’s a question that you might never feel ready to answer. It might feel awkward. And that’s okay. But remember that your child is exploring the world for the first time. Your children don’t always feel shame or embarrassment in the same way as you.
Approach these conversations with grace, understanding, and patience. Use age-appropriate language and examples with your children. Use their questions to guide the conversation as well. You know your child best. Prioritize honesty to help your child develop a strong foundation for their healthy sexual development surrounding topics like pregnancy, sex, and puberty.
The post Where Do Babies Come From? appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...
