Hey…
What you said really broke my heart, I didn't even know what to say at first, but one thing I think you should know is that God definitely loves you and you're not ugly- there's no such thing as ugly, because God is perfect and he is love, so therefore everything he creates is made with love and made perfectly. I know sometimes it may be hard to understand why some things happen the way they do, but that doesn’t mean that God loves you any less than anyone else. I used to think the same thing about myself, but now- now I know who I am, I know that I am beautiful, that I am so blessed and so loved.
Being "beautiful" as the world perceives isn't all it's cracked up to be, there are better things to look forward to in a person than what they look like on the outside. What if you looked like whoever you want to look like and you found a mate that was just as "gorgeous" as you but she was messed up on the inside? She was selfish and nasty and mean and made your life hell… would her looks matter all that much when she makes you feel like you are worthless and inadequate? No, I don't think so. So that old cliché that "real beauty is on the inside" is true. Your life is not some big joke, how do I know? Because God is too good to make your life a big joke and if your life was a big joke then at some point in all your attempts at suicide you would have been dead by now. But the fact that God has made sure that you are still alive when lots of other people succeed on the first attempt, says how much your life isn't a joke. At some point a joke is told and then it's done- but your life isn't done. I think there's something out there for you- for just you, I don't know you- but this is what I'm sensing, that there's some amazing plan out there, just for you… that you have a reason and a purpose and that God has set you apart for something, maybe that why you are struggling so much. I don't know if you believe in the devil or not- but I do, and what I have noticed is that the people who are marked for greatness are the ones that are sometimes targeted the most. You were born for a reason, your mother didn't abort you for a reason- the bible says in Jeremiah 1 vs. 4-5 that the Lord knew who you were before he formed you in your mom's womb, before you were born, he set you apart for something- for some great work of his. And he also says in Psalms 139 vs 14 that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. And mind you God doesn't lie- he can't, it's impossible for him to lie- as impossible as it is for a pig to sprout wings and fly! So he wasn't lying about you- you aren't ugly! You were meant to live and not die! If you were meant to die and your life was worthless, then why are you reaching out for help? Why? It's because there's more to your life than you may think there is. If you know God enough to come to this site, it means at some point you've known his love- suicide will separate you from that for all eternity and that should be more scary than living life as you do right now- so live just because you're afraid of going to hell- even if it's just for now- please don't kill yourself. God does love you- if you don't believe that he does, then just remember the man hanging on a cross for the sins he didn't commit, remember the fact that God had to turn his back on his son, even hen his son was crying out to him, "Daddy! Why are you leaving me here!" can you imagine how heart wrenching it must have been for God to do that? He did that for you- even if you were the only person on earth- he would still have died for you. nothing you can do can stop God from loving you- nothing! So he does… If you believe in the devil, then I have to tell you that the devil has been whispering lies into your ears, because that's who he is- he makes people doubt God and his love, he wants you dead, he wants you to feel so lonely and depressed and ugly and suicidal so you can kill yourself.
And please don't think that God is far away, that he doesn't know that you are hurting, the bible says that he is close to those who are broken hearted and that he keeps a record of your tears! Doesn't that sound like a God who loves you so much? Psalms 31 vs 7 says that he sees your affliction and knows the anguish of your soul. Psalms 40 says that he hears your cry and will lift you out of this pit!
Psalms 94 vs 18 : when I said "my foot is slipping" your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.
And now get this- I think this is a great scripture for you:
For you, Lord, have delivered me from death (All those times you've tried and failed)
My eyes from tears
My feet from tumbling
THAT I MAY WALK BEFORE THE LORD, IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING.
Psalms 116vs 8-9
I will live and not die and will proclaim what the Lord has done… Psalms 118 vs 17
And you can't doubt that the Lord loves you because in Zephaniah 3 vs 17- it says that the Lord rejoices over you with singing! God loves you so much that he sings to you, the way a parent would sing a lullaby to a baby.
I hope this helps you in some way, but the honest truth is- you have to want help, if you just want to have a pity party and feel sorry for yourself, nothing is going to change, but you have to choose for yourself to want to have a better life. God says that he calls heaven and earth as a witness against you that he has put in front of you- life and death, blessings and curses and he tells you not only to choose, but he also tells you what to choose! He says- CHOOSE LIFE! This is a God who says that he knows the plans he has for you- plans to prosper you- not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope! So your life can't be a joke. It's all in your hands- I hope you make the right choice- to live, I hope this helps you in some way. I have a blog I wrote on beauty and though it was written from a girl's point of view and it may be aimed at girls, it's the same for everyone, you'll find it at xbasic.wordpress.com.
I'm not just throwing words out there the way a lot of people say, "God loves you" at times it seems so monotonous and we are used to hearing that a lot, but I'm speaking to YOU right now- I don't know who you are BUT I know how God feels about you and I KNOW that his heart breaks when yours breaks and that he wants to take all the pain away. I don't know if the way you look is all there is to this- there seems to be so much more under the surface, in your words. Don't go through this alone- you really need to talk to someone about EVERYTHING- your looks, and the rest of the things stirring around in your heart, maybe even the sense of rejection you might feel in your life… someone positive and who loves you and will lovingly comfort you… don't give up- don't be a quitter! You are somebody and don't let anyone tell you that you aren't. When you make it out of this one day your story, your life is going to inspire someone else to be something, to look at themselves in a whole new way- your life isn't your own, but it's connected to someone elses out there- I like to think that our lives form a chain and if you break your part of the chain maybe there's someone out there who would have needed your touch to help them in some way. Don't you dare become a sad story- refuse to be the guy people remember tragically. I dare you to know you're loved, to learn to love yourself and all there is to learn about you, I dare you to be more, because that's what God wants for you. there's this awesome gift book by Max Lucado called "The Gift for all people." Even though I can say that I have been a Christian for many years- it was a great reminder on all that God has done for me and continues to do for me. I don't know if we are allowed to leave email ads on this site, but mine is
xbasicgirl@yahoo.com and what I did was I used the text function on my camera to rec some of the pages of the book that I think may help you, so if you drop me a line I'll attach them and send them to you. the email ad isn't my personal one, just the one that I set up in case someone wanted to talk to me about the things in my blog, so it's totally for ministry. I'm sure Mr. Lucado won't mind- it's all for God, right?
I don't even know why I ended up on this site among the millions out there, I don't know why your entry is the only one I read in the short time I was on it- all I can tell you is that a friend of mine says "there's no such thing as coincidences, only miracles." So this may be the answer to your heartfelt cry- what are you going to do about it? it takes courage to swim and survive… so be courageous. "Failure isn't falling- failure is staying down."
SB.
Hey you guys, I'm a 17 year old male and I've been dealing with severe depression and attempted suicides for over a year now. The reason is that I'm ugly and I don't know why God would do this to me and make other people pretty while I have to be ugly.
I don't think I'll ever find love because what girl would possible want me. No one really says I'm ugly it's more of a self-reflection. I honestly can't stand life. I wish I had never been born, I wish my mother had an abortion.
I just don't know if God even loves me. It's like my life is one huge joke and everyone else get's everything they could want(and they don't even know it).
I just don't get why God makes some people pretty and others like me ugly.
God bless.
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