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Why do some men

I think it has to do with the feeling of turning the animal within you lose and not worrying about anything but the good feelings. It is a general letting go of prudishness and inhibitions.

The woman I have been with have varied in this. Some never liked to bad language. Some liked it, but some words were mood killers, and some cursed so much, it made me blush.

Quath
 
You are right. Sometimes it is a mood killer. I had my mouth washed out with soap when I was about 4 yrs old for saying the 4 letter D word and that has stuck with me all my life. I just don't use bad language. To hear it while trying to be intimate is something I just can't get used to.
 
I remember getting my mouth washed out once. I forgot what I said. I remember my mother asking me (in front of my friends) how I liked that. I said "yummy." So she pulled me back into the bathroom for more. I don't really think I learned much from all of that. But it is funny in retrospect.

Quath
 
I can not stand hearing a person cuss a lot. UGH. I think it sounds so trashy and uneducated. It's a turn off for me too Hiedi. And I too was raised that cussing is wrong. And what's the need for it in the bedroom? Who knows. :-?
 
I think that when one wants to cuss during sex, it is to increase lustful desires and feelings(Some might interpret this as making sex more fun-I cannot see why.)

Some people desire to become lustful, beastlike, uncontrollable, etc. during sex....probably in order to release emotions and worries. Although, to do it that way is pointless, IMO.

Other than these things, I don't know. And I certainly do not see a point in doing it, nor would I ever want to.
 
You could always bring up his mother and kill the mood too, LOL. :o

(Bear in mind that I am really kidding and not suggesting this as a viable alternative.) :wink:
 
Klee shay said:
You could always bring up his mother and kill the mood too, LOL.
My wife will do that if I am in the mood and she is not. She will say "Grandma in a bikini!" Or "Have you called your mother lately?"

Definite mood killers.

Quath
 
hiedi said:
think it's turn on to use bad language in the bedroom?

Okay, From my perspective, like a single male's opinion is much help, I'd never think of it. What happened to the whole charish part of the Vows if you just go and use that language in the bedroom? It's just sick.

Edited to add: 1 Thessalonians 4:7
 
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Do we just leave our Christianity outside of the bedroom? :o

When "Christian" people use cussing in the bedroom are they then forgetting that they gave their lives over to love AS Christ Loves the Church? Love AS Christ Loves is not resorting to animal vulgarity or cussing. How is that respecting towards each other?

I know that when ,in the past, I found myself doing those sort of things... (yes, I've sworn in the bedroom a few times, :roll: I repent! :P :lol: anyway, when in the past, I found myself doing those sort of things, I always felt cheapened afterwards.

Strange. the fun of sin IN THE END OF IT, IN THE AFTERMATH OF IT, IS ALWAYS revealed for what it truly is. A cheapening of esteem, a compromise of integrity. And most of all, it leaves one with the feeling of being used as an object that was used. Instead of being left with the feeling of being loved, one is left with the feeling of being used for the sole purpose of giving into lust.

Does Christ Love the Church that way? NO!

So what do we do? Leave Jesus out of our lives when it comes time to being intimate in the bedroom? :-? I don't think that is what kind of LOVE God meant for us to display. Simply because of the way it leaves people feel in the end of it. USED instead of LOVED.

Now, think about it...... ARE WE ALL SO DOUBLE MINDED that we have to put aside one form of sexual gratification to make way for the other?

Are we to concentrate on the flesh? Or are we to concentrate on the spiritual form of love that in the end result of truly loving each other in the sense of giving affection to the heart of the person, which of course leads to sexual gratification because to be ONE with your mate in that sense is to still embrace in physical union. And the end result is that of one feeling LOVED, and NOT USED.

So then..... do we totally give up that old selfish thing called LUST, all because of the truth of the end result of it only leaves one feeling used?


If two people want to partake in that cheap form of sexual pleasure.... then if they make a habit of it and let it be the HABIT of their sexual pleasure.... Is that not going to eventually destroy their relationship and respect for each other?

I would think so. Must we give up lust completely? Or should there be a balance and be careful to not let the LUST TAKE OVER? If that's the case ... then we must be on guard and that is another burden of control that "WE" put on ourselves in the bedroom. So then... IF we make love in the way in which LUST has NO PART in it.... Then.... isn't that going to leave us without the burden of being on guard to control how far things get out of hand in the bedroom?

I think.... in the end result of it all.... that "LOVING" in the way God intended for us to Love one another is the ONLY WAY to avoid problems.

And boy! Does that take training..... To stay in that frame of mind... to constantly keep our minds focused on loving in the giving sense, instead of in the taking (lust) sense, is very difficult indeed.

If we read the book of Song of solomon.....
Do they not love each other?
Do they not long for each other?
Do they not desire each other and want to embrace each body part,
to enjoy each others body parts?

Of course they do!

But do they do it in such a fashion that it is greedy in the form of lust and cussing and vulgar relationship? NO!

So is there a difference between the LOVING and the LUSTING?

Yes.... One is Vulgar... the other is not.

I think we need to be careful that lust doesn't take over and destroy what God intended for man and wife in relationship to each other.


So then... if you find yourself cussing in the bedroom.... think about what that does to your relationship.... What value does that place on your character as a Christian? Do you leave your Christianity outside of the bedroom? I don't think being a Christian means to be a part time Christian.

Do you not know... your body is not your own? Your body is the temple of the HOLY Spirit. Do do you take that seriously, or not?

I think when two people in a marriage love each other.... They should regard what that cussing and cheap sex does to their characters.

I think God's LOVE, God's way of EMBRACING.... Is what should be first and foremost.

Any other form of sexual play is degrading. Does God want us to degrade ourselves like that?

Would you swear if God was sitting next to you in the bed?

God wants us to love our bodies... not to abuse them by cheapening them by trashy behavior.

Beside, like I said, making love leaves you feeling more fulfilled than being used as an object for selfish use.

It is better to give than to receive.

When I am being given too.... my cup overflows! And WOW! There is no better way to receive.

To receive by taking is not as fulfilling!


So trust God! He knows what he's talking about when it comes to giving instead of taking.

There is a huge difference in receiving as opposed to "taking"

I would rather give and receive of someone else giving to me.
than I would take from someone until they are drained. That is robbing them of life force instead of giving life force. Big difference.

And that's the difference between love and lust. :)

what's cussing got to do with Loving?

Cussing is vlugar.
I have some neighbors that all they do is say F this and F that. The whole family... they cuss outside in front of all the other neighbors. It's discusting! And I don't even want to go outside when they are out in their yard because I don't want to hear F this and F that every other word they say. Why would anyone want to cheapen themselves to such discusting language? It is very unbecoming of anyone. Christian or not! It is discusting and when I found myself swearing.... I hated it. And I learned how to stop doing that to myself. Because the payoff wasn't worth the habit. Who wants to be like that? What good is it to swear? It's the devils language. Not God's, And the devils appeal is very shor lived, it is not rewarding, int hat it demeans and cheapens. It is destructive. It is a slow creep that will take over your habits if you are not aware of what it entails to participate in that type of dark behavior.

Don't forget... the devil comes in the form of light. Vulgarity has an appeal.. yes, but it is NOT going to be good for you in the long term, end result. It's cheap and it's no the kind of rewards God intends for us in order to be fully blessed by the LOVE HE INTENDS FOR US.

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