Why do women hold back the truth or not like being forward?

[countryboydonald]

Why do women seem to tell small lies alot? Somethin simple as not calling me back. They usually say somethin like "i was busy". I know thats just an excuse. Are they too scared or weak to tell the truth? Like one girl i was talking to asked why i havent called her and i said "The phone works both ways." (I said it because i called her the previous 5 or 6 times and sometimes i need reassurance that she is still interested in me by her making the initiative to call me instead. )But then she said " I been busy". I thought...well if you've been busy then you couldn't have talked if i called you anyways. Was she testing me to see if i would make the initiative to try extra hard in the chase after her to prove my interest for her???? Or like when they email me but say they were too busy to call. She had time to email me but not call??? Or they cancel our plans. It sounds like they have another date that they like better. Id rather just hear the truth and it will be easier.Why couldnt they just say the truth straight out or communicate to meet what they are thinking so im not left hanging? Are women scared to hurt or feelings or scared of facing the truth? Or is it just that they really arent interested in me at all when they say stuff like this? Because people make time for what they care about. Or is it because im careful and dont show too much affection early on when we are first getting to know each other and they feel that im not into them enough?? Or do they not respond with the truth and lie to blow me off and let me down easy? Or maybe even leave me on the backburner as a "just incase" guy or "backup plan" or a "possibility" and go out with a guy they like more first and come back to me if it doesnt work out with him??? I cant help but feel like women love to justify or make excuses for anything they do that is not good or respectful. Any advice would be great. Thank you!!!!

 

[Tina]

.
Are you writing this while on your 40D/40N solo retreat ? .... :biglol
Looks like you're doing a lot of "soul searching" ...


I can only say that relationships are complicated and it takes emotional and spiritual maturity from both parties for effective communication and for relationships to successfully work out. Sounds to me like your girlfriends are not serious about you. If they are making excuses to avoid your calls or cancel dates, then I presume they are not interested in you, in which case, you should just dump them and move on with your life.

You should also get used to the fact that God is in control of everything including your relationships. Maybe God is closing the doors on these relationships because these are not the girls He has chosen for you. God knows who's right for you and He will bring the right girl into your life in His perfect timing and when that happens, nothing and no one will be able to separate the two of you. You should be patient and trust in Him instead of trying too hard to work out relationships yourself. The Bible says we are to pray on every occasion (Ephesians 6:18), and instead of getting worried, anxious and upset, you should make your prayer requests known to God and receive His peace (Philippians 4:6-7).

 

[countryboydonald]

I am not on my 40D/40N retreat yet. Its still in the planning works. I just get to thinking real deep stuff from time to time. Thank you for the insight.

 

[7ruth]

Yeah I've been in that same dilema before :verysad .

She would call me almost all the time for a while. Then she just gradually stopped and had the worst excuses ever. One time I remember for a whole day she didn't call me, then the next day she said she was going to call me but was too tired, then a little but after that she told me how she was chatting online with these one kids online :bigfrown . It made me upset because she had time and took the initiative to talk to some other guys before she even called me.

Its confusing. I would think that she is just hinting to me that she doesn't like me and that we should breakup instead of just coming out and saying that we should breakup. Then later she would invite me over to her house, we would have a great time, which would even confuse me more.

Trying to make them take the initiavtive to talk too you or show interest in you didn't work out at all for me. You should talk to her about it and get the truth.

 

[countryboydonald]

Im not dating anyone now but it was a big question that was on my mind for future reference and to help other friends that could use advice.

 

[JohnEboy1983]

There was this man who stumbled upon a magic bottle and a Genie popped out and said, I will grant you one wish. The man thought to himself, I am allready rich so money is not an issue to me, but I could use a highway from my house to hawaii so that I can drive there whenever I want. So the man told the Genie, I want you to make me a highway from my house to hawaii. The Genie replied, that may be a bit difficult for even I, a Genie.. im not so sure I can do that, is there anything other wishes? So the man thought to himself again and said... Thats it! I want to be able to understand women! The Genie replied, Would you like a 2 lane or a 4 lane highway?

Just thought I would share this.

 

[Tina]

.
:toofunny ........ :tongue2

 

[Feldew]

Women? How about people. Everyone does it. xD;;

Which basically nullifies your point: both men and women do it, and it's probably because they have something to hide. Him. Never would have thought of that.

 

[LaMexicana]

I just think we do it not to hurt your feelings or maybe she really is busy...? But it's been done to me by men as well in ages ranging from 24 to 36...lame-o. As I've gotten older, though, I've realized I'm a lot more straight up. I either say I'm not interested in talking to them or I just ignore them, that usually gives a pretty good hint even if it's a bit awkward if you run into them later on...oh...hello...yep, I'm the chick that totally dissed you! Good times, good times...

But really, I think women do it to not hurts feelings so, in that sense, yes, we're a little gutless

 

[PouringRain]

Women? How about people. Everyone does it. xD;;

Which basically nullifies your point: both men and women do it, and it's probably because they have something to hide. Him. Never would have thought of that.

I agree that both genders do it.

I prefer directness.

 

[revedup]

I'm "faulty" I guess in that I'm "too direct". If I try to answer the OP, I'd have to approach it from both genders because I can't say that I see it more with one gender than the other. In general it's probably easier for most to just avoid an issue. Out of sight, out of mind..per say. I'm with the other reply that you can just look at it as a blessing. If your'e laying it all out for God to take control on, then trust that every step of your day is guided and planned.