I've always heard "You're either going in a storm, you are in a storm, or coming out of one." I am in two storms. My daughter has been estranged from my husband and I for six years. That's a long time. She has four beautiful children that we adore. It has gotten some better and we see them once a month, but she doesn't come to our house, call or check or on us, and let us babysit. She is a Christian too and is active in church, but this church seems to draw her further from us instead of encouraging her to get closer, and we are Christians too. The other storm is my husband retired and it has depleted the nice inheritance my mom left us. He refuses to get a job now, and we are going deeper in debt. I have been job hunting myself for a year, I just now found a transcription job which I am thrilled about, but the pay is not much and I am finding the audio is horrible and if they don't like the job I do they won't keep me. I have a small Ebay business and a Tiktok account that I make little money from as well. Why does God keep taking everything away from me. I am to the point I feel He doesn't want to bless me anymore.
Christian Forums
This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
-
-
Why two storms?
- Thread starter Glammaw4
- Start date
Greetings again, Glammaw.
The above is misinterpreting the situation, IMO. What He wants from all of us is to turn to Him with our whole heart, our whole mind, our whole strength and our whole souls. As a result, He will use situations like this to sometimes force us to, because He knows we will need Him. He is an immensely good provider to those who give everything to Him, even their children, their finances and their spouses, and just devote themselves and their thought life to Him instead. Not always easy. but it's your answer IMO, to all of it.
Blessings. Maybe there are others here who can give you advice as well, and thanks again for sharing.
- H
Father,
I want to thank you for Glammaw4, you know her situation Father and why a severance occurred between them and their daughter many years back. Please restore what the devourer has stolen, what the canker worm has eaten and bring about an opportunity of forgiveness between them and your healing. For her husband Father, you know all things and you know why his retirement has led him to a place of no-longer wanting to provide for his household.
Please give her unique and creative ideas to help them through financially and please send your servants, mighty men and women of God on their pathway to help and support them along the way.
I ask this now Father, in Jesus mighty name!
xoxLast edited:Enlightenedtruth
MemberMy grandma used to tell me that the Lord will never place more of a burden on you, than you can bear. My youngest step-son will not speak to my wife at all. About a year ago, my wife started thinking about praying to God to "fix that"; but it does not work that way. Every individual has free will, God will not take that away from any of us; He will not make anyone do anything.
I do understand the financial troubles as well, and I would offer a couple different views on that. First, you could speak to the members of your Church; and ask them for ideas and input on getting work. If your husband is a Christian, you could ask your preacher to speak with him (or both of you together).
I believe a lot of people do not approve of my "Christian views"; but I believe we stand at the door. The problem is, no one can hear the knock. But do not fear, my Father has all this nonsense in hand; and He will Stand the Angel's when the seven heads make their move.
I'm sorry that your daughter is estranged from you.
You don't say why, so it isn't possible to give advice about the estrangement.
All I can suggest is to listen to her churches sermons online to see what they are teaching.
Or to ask your minister for his views on her church.
You need to sit down and talk with your husband about current income and expenditure.
To ask him how expenditure is brought within the homes income and to also have some savings.
If need be involve your minister.
Tenchi
Member
Hello Glammaw4. Welcome to CF.net.
I'm sorry to hear of the difficulties afflicting you. Humans really are "born unto trouble as the sparks fly upward." (Job 5:7) There's no escaping the nasty consequences of sin.
Since you brought it up, why is your daughter estranged from you? Or, would she say that you're estranged from her? It's hard to imagine, given you both are Christ-followers, that the "why?" of the estrangement hasn't been expressed. So, what does your daughter say is the reason she has withdrawn from you? Or, maybe, is it that you've withdrawn from her? We humans can be...peculiar in how we frame up these situations, often putting the blame for estrangement anywhere but on ourselves.
In any case, the estrangement is not of God. He commands His children to be walking in love, unity and fellowship with one another, not maintaining distance from, and animosity toward, one another. See Matthew 18:15-17. Also:
Ephesians 4:31-32
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Can he not see that your financial resources are dwindling away? If so, what does he imagine will happen when all of the money is gone? Does he think he'll be able to remain in full retirement, then? Is your husband really so shortsighted?
What are God's priorities in the lives of His children? Do you know? If not, how can you expect God's blessing on your life? Your life is not conformed to His will and way and so is, essentially, in rebellion toward Him.
I don't mean you live like the devil, of course, only that, whenever our living departs from God's will and way, we can't help but step out from under His authority and control at that point of divergence. And so long as we stay in this condition, we are rebels toward God and kept from His blessing and support as an inevitable consequence. In this situation it isn't that God has taken anything away from you, but that you've removed yourself from His will and way and thus from all the good things attendant on being within His will and way.journeymanisnothing
Member
Hello @Glamawm4
Sounds like 2 storms because God is giving you 2 ways to see the same thing.
Sorry to hear of your trouble sister. If you believe this with all your heart it will give your mind the rest you're hoping to find.
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Jn.14:27 KJV
Our dear Lord gives rest.
His rest...because His rest allows us to sleep even if we go for a boat ride during a hurricane.
This world doesn't have our Kings reassurance because His comfort is seen in our belief that no matter how badly the odds are stacked against us, what The Lord of all creation said is what will be. How bad were the odds stacked when the wuse men in this said. "Heh heh heh. Guess we heard the last from Him!." Those gamblers got wiped out by the biggest come back in history.
Money problems? With me, debt happened over a short span from overspending. Just buying stuff I wanted but didn't need. I don't believe God ever wanted to stop me from a good time. He wanted all to have fun sharing His gifts. But my trouble was when I thanked God in prayer it went like this, "You're great Lord. Thanks for blessing ME with massive amounts stuff I don't even need."
I aquired a new found appreciation for His instruction to give no rest to my eyes if I made a an agreement with a stranger, in my case the credit card. I had uno problem obeying God to make it right by getting out of bed because I found meself working 80 hours a week. I couldn't sit down for years from that spanking but I paid the last penny and lesson learned.
Sorry this counsel came last as thIs problem causes the most pain. I firmly believe if you go to the thread titled "The Holy Spirit Came As A Witness" and read the points made in posts 38 & 46, you'll have no trouble reconnecting with your daughter and your relationship with her will never be fully restored never to be damaged again.
May God bless.
There's another option: You ride over the storm in God's sovereignty
.
Estrangement will persist wherever both parties do not want reconciliation. Do you know specifically what happened to cause the estrangement? (you do not have to post it. I ask simply if the specific cause is known)
The first step in proper treatment is sound diagnosis.
Do you think the two problems are related?
Has this problem been discussed with your husband and, if so, have you let him know you will be discussing it with your pastor, and possibly another counselor, and would like him to collaborate and participate with both?
Very commendable. That may partly address the lack of money, but it will not solve the problem of an unemployed (employable?) retired husband, or the estrangement between father and daughter.
(At least) Three problems exist and they need to be sorted out and addressed accordingly. Otherwise, the very understandble resulting confusion is overhwelming and may lead to feelings of helplessness resulting in inertia (which may already be experienced)
Hmmm... is God being blamed?
You are an adopted daughter of The Most High God, a royal priestess in His holy nation, chosen by God Himself.
Act like it.
Easy for me to post hard for you to do. You know those words aretrue but perceive your situation as something akin to the seed that grows to be choked by the circumstances of life.
Matthew 13:22
And the one sown with seed among the thorns, this is the one who hears the word, and the anxiety of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.
Perhaps this is what has happened to your husband, too, only he got there ahead of you and it's bleeding into your life.
- Read "Boundaries" AND "Boundaries in Marriage," by Henry Cloud and John Townsend if you haven't already done so. Re-read them if you have.
- Get connected, if you're not already. Join a women's group and develop your best friend relationship with another woman. You're going to need support, and men will not always understand what you're going through.
- Send some time in self-examination and make a list of goals for yourself and your marriage (the daughter problem will be better resolved when you and your marriage are healthy). Then develop a plan for accomplishing each goal and work toward each goal one or two at a time. If the list is long, then prioritize it and work one simple and small and one priority goal.
- Immerse yourself in praise, prayer, reading the Bible, and fellowship. God and His word will work in ways no one here in the forum can provide. When you read the Word don't single out verses. Read the larger passages and treat them as whole recipes. For example, focusing on Philippians 4:6 is incomplete if you have not rejoiced, made your gentleness known, rpovided an honest list of need and taken them to God in prayer, lived with gratitude, or changed the way you think to attend to what is good and noble. Wear out those knees and enlist at least one other to do the same.
- People often say they want to be honest, but it's long been my observation people are generally honest, at least to the degree they can be regarding their real and perceived problems. What they are not is forthcoming. We must all be honest and forthcoming, especially in marriage, if solutions are to be accomplished (they always take work
). Be polite.... respectful.... and assertive with your husband. Write down and rehearse what you'd like to say ("Boundaries Face to Face" is a very good resource for that purpose), and do not expect your husband to respond positively the instant he hears it. "Thank you for listening. Please think about what I have said. I'll give it some more thought myself and hear your thoughts about it in a day or two".
Get help.
John 3:16-21 NIV
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.
That is the problem to be solved first. You are a daughter of The Most High God. Bring that dross out into the light and look it in the eye.
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
Try not to scare him. It takes a strong man to be married to a strong woman
.journeymanisnothing
Member
Glammaw4
My iphone is inserting letters, words I 'm not even typing and ut's been doung it fir abiut a week. I wanted to say,
Your relationship with your daughrer will be fully restored.
Sorry for the error. I cant fix thus phone. Time to go shoppung
Hi Glammaw4 and welcome to CF
It's through the storms of our lives that are to make us stronger in faith that does not waver as we go before the Lord and lay our burdens down at His feet. God knows our needs even before we go before Him. It's sad that your husband does not want to work anymore even if it was part time just to help with the finances and has placed this burden on you. Now a days it is hard to live on the wages of retirement as most of the time it just isn't enough and there has to be a supplement to the household income, especially when the funds you once had is now depleted.
I don't know or do I need to know the distance between you and your daughter as God already knows and I pray that God would bridge the gap and bring the two of you back together again.
Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Pro 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Isa 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
You are in my prayers
Not knowing you personally makes it difficult to fully understand what is happening in your life. I will share my thoughts, but please keep in mind that I could be wrong, as every situation has its unique details, which in this case, I am unaware of.
The fact that you are going through difficulties suggests that God is trying to teach you something. If God is trying to teach you something, it means you are on the right path, even if that path is filled with challenges. Didn’t Jesus face difficulties? Is there any prophet who wasn’t persecuted or killed? Difficulties are a mark of a believer. Therefore, you are on the right path, exactly where you should be. The day everything goes perfectly—that’s the day you should be concerned.
Now, regarding your situation: difficulties are lessons we need to learn. Once we learn the lesson, the difficulty passes, and we move on to the next one. This is how we grow. God doesn’t solve our problems for us but gives us the strength to learn new lessons. Believe me, you can overcome this situation—but you need to apply all your abilities.
We must identify the root causes of our problems and take action only if required. Not knowing the exact reasons why your daughter has become estranged or why your husband refuses to get a new job, the best advice I can offer is to carefully listen to what your daughter and husband say to justify their actions. Pay attention to everything happening around you, as the answers are there.
Does what they say make sense?
Are they making reasonable demands?
Are they giving you the same consideration they expect from you?
Is there an unresolved past offense? Why is this really happening?
Is there envy or resentment?
Are you taking responsibility for things outside your control?
Are you avoiding your own responsibilities?
Are you tolerating something wrong in yourself or others?
Are you refusing to admit something everyone else sees?
And so on.
Once you learn the lesson—whether it’s a problem in your attitude, a failure to recognize an issue in someone else’s behavior, a wrong perspective, or an unwillingness to accept something, or perhaps tolerating too much from others—you will begin the process of resolving the real problem. Then, you will notice that everything starts falling into place as if by magic.
This is what I do: I try to understand what I need to learn. Once you grasp it, everything falls into place, and you move on to the next challenge, and so on.
Often, our problems arise because we are not paying attention or refuse to acknowledge something. This is why I urge you to pay attention—because I am 100% certain there is a way out of these problems.
I hope this helps you.