Why we shouldnt focus on 'changing' someone...

[follower of Christ]

Ive tried to ''convert'' people to seeing things my way before over the years.
Rarely does it work.
No matter how much ''sense'' it makes to me, it just wont to the next guy unless he is leaning towards that particular direction anyway.

In 2 decades, Ive yet to see the person I am directing my discussion to ever change, even in the face of overwhelming evidence/proof.

This would be ok except that sometimes WE base our level of success when presenting our argument on the visible reception we get from those we oppose on an issue.
If they start to concede and understand, we see that we've accomplished something.
If not, then we've failed.

But I offer another view, one that I adopted some time ago.
Those of you who preach truth, dont waver because you are getting resistance from those who dont agree with you, most likely they always will.

Remember that when you speak, many people read these forums, and most likely the very thread you are posting in.
When you discuss, dont try to ''convert'' the person you are debating, 90%+ of them will not change thier views, or even modify them by anything you say or any proof/evidence you offer........it ends up being a waste of your effort and makes you feel as if you spent a lot of time presenting a very good argument to no avail.

Keep in mind the lurkers, those who never speak in the thread at all.
They are there, they are watching........and they are looking for answers many times from Gods word.

Just present you arguments as if for them, even if its a direct response to some theology you oppose, write it in such a way that the readers here will see it and be able to see that you have presented truth....Gods truth.

If the person you are debating never listens or changes, dont sweat it....others DO hear your words when you speak the truth.


God bless.

 

[Vic C.]

... Remember that when you speak, many people read these forums, and most likely the very thread you are posting in.
When you discuss, dont try to ''convert'' the person you are debating, 90%+ of them will not change thier views, or even modify them by anything you say or any proof/evidence you offer........it ends up being a waste of your effort and makes you feel as if you spent a lot of time presenting a very good argument to no avail.

Keep in mind the lurkers, those who never speak in the thread at all.
They are there, they are watching........and they are looking for answers many times from Gods word.

Just present you arguments as if for them, even if its a direct response to some theology you oppose, write it in such a way that the readers here will see it and be able to see that you have presented truth....Gods truth.

If the person you are debating never listens or changes, dont sweat it....others DO hear your words when you speak the truth.


God bless.

I feel these words bear repeating. Thanks for the post.

 

[farley]

foC,

Thank you for sharing this view point!

I heartily agree!

It is very hard when discussing Scripture face-to-face, much less over a telephone wire.

As I've posted elsewhere, I just hope that I can learn something in forums like this one, that will aid me in my walk through this world.

Thanks, in Christ,

farley

 

[NRoof]

follower of Christ,

Amen

This is advice I have lived by for a while now and I share it with others.

 

[thessalonian]

My dad had a field he couldn't plant one spring. The field came up in clover from one end to the other. Now there had not been clover on the field for 20 years. But the seed lay dormant until the conditions were right.

We oftentimes in evangelization want immediate results. We want to see the fruits of our labors but Paul did not usually see the fruits of his labors. He says "I planted, Apollos watered, but the Lord let made it grow". In another place he speaks of how the fruits of his labors were reaped by another. I beleive it is in Romans. It is a thing of pride to want to "reel" that convert in. Further we are only one cog in the wheel and God will use others. He is patient with the sinner. Thus we should never stop preaching or presenting truth and get discouraged over seeming lack of results.